


Start New Game

by DemonNextDoor



Series: This Nightmare Game [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Almost plant porn, Almost porn, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Demons, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Gen, Humor, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, The timeline is a mess, Time Travel, Updates at random, Vampires, Violence, Warlocks, Weirdness, What Was I Thinking, Wing Kink, Wizards, You Have Been Warned, chapter lengths will be random, in a really over the top way, just a little bit though, not meant to be taken seriously, so much weirdness, this story is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 55,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4600110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonNextDoor/pseuds/DemonNextDoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My friends finally convinced me to start writing. I don't have a beta, so any typos, bad grammar, and weird phrasing is mine. Originally named Well This Is Interesting.</p><p>On with the summary. </p><p>Everyone's gonna have that one moment in their life where the only phrase that comes to mind is 'Oh shit, we fucked up'. Well we've been alive for a few hundred years, really should have seen this coming. This was gonna happen eventually but holy shit, we never thought it would be to this fucking scale. All because we decided to loot a creepy ass cabin in the Haunted Ass Woods. Fuck. Well it's too late to back out now</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Story Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to try writing at some point

Well shit, I just set everything on fire, and I mean everything. I swear some of this has got to be breaking the laws of physics or something, I mean, I'm pretty sure water isn't supposed to be flammable.

This situation sucks but then again I could be one of the losers that's still in the building. Hehe, sucks for them.

This sounds bad but funny enough, I'm not even the bad guy in this story. Alright this is probably confusing so I guess I should explain what happened. What happened was, a few months back me and my friends were exploring a forest that the locals called the "Haunted Ass Woods". So what happened while we were exploring was, we got lost.... Yeah, cheesy right? We actually got lost because _someone_ forgot to bring the map. So here we are trying to find our way out of the Haunted Ass Woods when we find this cabin type building. It looked abandoned so we thought it would be a good idea to loot the place, were such nice people right? Well in our defense we were bored. So we go inside and holy shit...

It was really boring looking, like wow... Basically there was a table, few chairs, a few book shelves and a ton of dust. All the rooms were pretty much the same idea, a bed, table, chairs, lamps, your typical room shit. And the last place we checked was of course the basement. Unfortunately it was just as boring as the rest of the place. Wow, holy shit, we had discovered the house of the most boring people that had ever existed. Since the basement was hellishly boring we decided to go back upstairs and check out the books.

So we were checking out the books, and found a bunch of really creepy looking ones, which weren't in English, of fucking course. Looking back, I don't think they were even in a human language. We were gonna ditch them but one of my friends noticed one of the books had a piece of paper sticking slightly out of it and holy shit, it was in English. Sweet, sweet English. Basically it was a list of simple ingredients, a ritual, and what looked like gibberish.

Being the geniuses we are, we decide to do the ritual, genius right? So we went into the kitchen to see if the boring motherfuckers that lived here had the 4 ingredients that were needed for the ritual. We found them and went through with the ritual and nothing. No bright ass flash of light, no suddenly blacking out, nothing. Boring... So we decided to leave. It was dark out but there was no supernatural cause behind it. It was actually 10:30 at night so as the locals say 'no shit it's dark out'. Since it was late we all headed to my friends house to get food, we ate, and we stayed over.

Finally shit started to happen a week later, took long enough, I mean even for noob wizards that was one hell of a delayed reaction. And the shit that happened wasn't even all that impressive. We all kinda just wanted to head back to the Haunted Ass Woods. Of course that shit only got worse, it always does. By the end of the week we all headed back together.

When we got back there we were surprised to find the place was a lot less dusty. In fact the place looked like someone had gone through the place and cleaned that shit up. It turns out the place actually had colour. As it turns out, the walls were blue. So being the geniuses we were we decided to look around. Still impressively boring. With that we were satisfied so we decided to leave, of course this time shit had to happen. Still no bright flash of light but it was night time.

That doesn't sound like a big deal, but when we went in it was about 2 pm, so yeah it was a big fucking deal cuz this shit's lookin' like it's 2 in the morning but our phones and shit are saying it's still 2 pm. Like motherfucker it ain't 2 in the afternoon, ain't no 2 in the afternoon looks like this without a solar eclipse going or the apocalypse. And that's where the story officially starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you've read this far  
> Thanks for reading, please ♥ and leave comments and suggestions~♪  
> 


	2. Meet the Weirdos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little info about the weirdos

So here we are outside the cabin, which by the way dosent look old and abandoned any more, everything we have on us that tells time is saying that it's 2 pm, and it's dark as all hell out. Starting to see a problem? So either some magical shit happened or that cabin fucked all our technology. And I swear if I find out later that that cabin fucked all our technology we're coming back to burn this fucker down.

Before I continue, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Cyanide, I'm the pale ghost looking one with the long bright green hair and weird eyes. And despite all the shit that just happened, I'm just glad to see that my laptop is fine. As for what I do, around campus I was the one you went to if you wanted someone dead or simply out of the picture. You could usually find me camping out in the library during class time. I normally only showed up about once a week unless there was something going on. I should probably introduce these weirdos too.  
That one in the over the top outfit is Natallia, she's a vampire, and formerly the campus serial killer. And before you assume, no she didn't kill by drinking peoples blood, thats just cheesy. She stabbed people. It was hilarious watching the cops try and investigate. The cops in this town couldn't prove shit. Dumbfucks...  
The guy next to her is Noire, a demon. Dark hair, gold eyes, typical hot demon. Kinda antisocial, good with technology, you'd probably never see him outside of class, this motherfucker would always be hiding out in his house with all his computers. He's a hacker in our group, pretty sure he used to hack the teachers laptops and sell info for cash on campus. It was pretty funny watching shit go down every time he sold some huge secret.  
And over there looking at the plants is Lucifer. Despite the name and the fact that the rest of the group is supernatural as fuck, Lucifer is a human. Not a normal human though, we would never let him hang out with us if he were. Lucifer is a wizard. He was the school necromancer and miracle worker of sorts. If you or a friend did something stupid for YouTube, or vine, or had a really stupid idea for a selfie and suffered the consequences, he was the guy you went to. He only had 2 rules, and those were 1.You kept your mouth shut about his ability to bring people back from the dead and 2.If he tells you to get an ingredient, you go get it. No questions asked.  
And there's one more girl currently with us but considering what just happened, she probably wont be around for much longer. We only really keep her around as a blood source for Natallia and a soul for Noire. She also cooks for me and Lucifer and carries around our spell books.

That description sounds pretty bad but there was no magic of tricks involved in getting her to do this job. There's never any magic or lying involved, just unfathomable stupidity. Usually people only manage to stick around for a week before leaving or survive a month before dying. And when I say stupidity, I'm not exaggerating. This is literally the ad.

**HELP WANTED**

Need a person to be a blood source for a vampire, let a small part of your soul be eaten by a demon, cook for the 2 of us that eat food, and carry around books and laptops for us. We need to replace the guy that died asap. It's not all bad though, you get to live in the mansion with us and spend the entire day staring at us and we're all insanely hot.

Also we pay well if you survive

Yet for some reason people still approach us for the job. See? Stupid people. We literally say in the ad that the last person died.

Anyways, what happened after we walked out of the cabin and found that it was what the locals call 'dark as fuck out' we decided to go back to the mansion. Well except for the other girl who quit the job when she saw outside, we decided to drop her off at her friends place. So after all of that, we finally get back to our place and...  
"Are you sure you don't have the key?!" I heard Natallia yell.  
"Does it look like I have the key, hey Noire didn't you bring the key?!" Lucifer replied.  
"The hell makes you think I brought it?" answered Noire.  
So they start emptying our pockets to see who brought a key, and I couldn't help but wonder, is this seriously what the spell was supposed to do? Make it dark out and make our keys disappear? That's really sad... but then I decided to try something, I turned around and opened the door. Wow, we actually forgot to lock it on our way out, we're geniuses... So anyways, we go inside and we all head straight to the kitchen.

When we get to the kitchen we all noticed a giant ass cake there, this thing was the size of a fucking wedding cake. I would've thought the thing _was_ a wedding cake but it was way too fucking ugly. That shit looked like it was decorated by a blind guy having a seizure. There was also a giant envelope thing sticking out of the top but nobody gave a shit about that, we were hungry.  
"What the fuck? Which one of you assholes ordered the single ugliest cake in existence?" asked Noire.  
"Does it matter? Its free food and it's not like you can kill any of us with poison anyways, we're either not human or have spells for that shit" answered Lucifer  
And with that we all grabbed a slice and started eating. Looking back that might not have been the best decision, we probably should have read that shit first. Next thing we know there's a bright ass flash of light.

Of

Fucking

Course

*facepalms*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	3. Looting Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First murder the city, then looting time

We woke up still in the kitchen…how boring right? So at this point everybody knew that some magical shit just happened but at the time we all thought something along the lines of 'fuck that, we got a free cake to finish'. So we continue to ignore the letter and finish the cake. Looking back, we should have read the letter first. So we finished the cake, which was our first big mistake. Our second one was retreating into our separate rooms to do our own thing, and continuing to ignore the letter. Our third and last big fuck up was not leaving as soon as fucking possible. My god, what happened the next day after we finally decided to read that letter was _so_ annoying. The letter read,

-Welcome To Our World-

You shouldn't try to loot random cabins you find in the woods and you really shouldn't try out random spells you find in creepy cabins. There can be all kinds of consequences.  
But you would know all about that now, wouldn't you?  
Well not yet I guess, I mean you did just get here.  
Well everyone who ends up here gets a fair warning.  
I believe that in your world, our world would be considered a fantasy world, think of this world kind of like a video game.  
You kill things, do quests, go through dungeons, and level up. Then you head to the next town over and so on…  
Pretty simple right? All you have to do is survive~♥

-The Demon White Rabbit

PS. I hope you didn't finish that cake before you read this, after you finish the cake, the city people will try to storm your place~♥

 

Yeah, we fucked up…well not really, the city people were easy enough to kill off, even the ones that weren't human were pretty weak. Even with the whole population of the city around our place, getting rid of them was pretty easy. I mean seriously easy, those losers couldn't get past the warding that kept the animals from the forest out of our backyard. Thinking back, I don’t think we were supposed to kill them all, I mean they weren't zombies or anything… Well too late now.

Well after that disaster we decided to look around the city. “Wow, it’s really quiet” pointed out Natallia.  
“Well we did just kill about 95% of the city’s population, no shit it's quiet.” replied Lucifer who was looking around.  
“Yo if everybody’s dead why aren't we looting everything yet?” I asked as I aimed a lightning bolt at one of the giant display windows in one of the shops. It was a magic ingredients store in the back if you knew which book shelf was an illusion. I remembered that because I stole 3 spell books and so many spell ingredients from there leaving me with 5 books in my bag, and a ton of rare ingredients, along with my laptop. That should have weighted a ton and really shouldn't have even fit in the bag at all but this really was like a video game, not only did it all fit, it didn't weigh anything. And I mean that literally, as in, if you didn't open up the bag to look inside you’d think it was empty. Woo! Game logic!

Noire picked the next store we looted, which was a NerdShop. So I left there with a new laptop, headphones, speakers, phone and a few other things. Noire on the other hand pretty much packed the entire shop into his inventory. At this point I'm pretty sure the inventory space is infinite. The other 2 decided to be boring and only took a phone and a pair of headphones.

The next shop was chosen by Natallia. This was a clothing shop, and so far the biggest difference between this world and our old one. Everything looked like it was pulled right from an anime, or right off the costumes rack on a movie set. Basically everything looked a lot less boring. Oh and the nice thing about game logic, everything fits. Long story short we left looking a lot more badass than before.

Lucifer pretty much dragged all of us to the next store. A wizard store. There I got a really useful spell book that you could store all the information from any spell book on, which is awesome cuz that means I don’t have to search through all the books in my inventory, I also got a really awesome looking staff. Lucifer just went up behind the counter and started cramming jars of ingredients into his inventory and I went into the dark magic section of the shop and started doing the same. Noire and Natallia just sat by the entrance looking out of place until me and Lucifer came back.

We looted pretty much every shop in sight but the next significant shop we looted was a weapons shop, it was time for me and Lucifer to look confused at the entrance now. About half an hour later Noire had what looked like some kind of laser rifle and some kind of glowing necklace and Natallia had 2 cursed daggers and probably all the throwing knives the store had.

We were ready to leave for the next city like the letter said we should, but before that we had one more place to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	4. Luna City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make a quick stop in Luna City.

Actually there were 2 places we had to go first before we left Winter City. First we went to a car dealership and stole a car. Yeah, like _hell_ we're walking to Halloween Town, fuck that bullshit. And the next place we hit was some kind of food place, first we went into the food court type thing and had lunch. Then we grabbed a few carts and took everything that we considered edible, so like all the candy, chocolate, cake, ice cream, certain types of fruit, and meat. Then we prayed that the car had the same type of inventory system as our bags and pockets or else we were gonna have to go back to the clothing store and grab another bag for all of the food.

Thankfully it did, and with that we were on our way to Halloween Town which was a 10 hour drive. There were other cities in between but those cities were boring. But it was a 10 hour drive so we had to stop in at least one of them. The one we chose was Luna City. We figured that if the maps and the language were the same then maybe some of the more important people would still exist too, and we were right. We chose that city because Noires family has a summer cottage there and since it was winter, we assumed that it would be empty.

Holy shit were we wrong. Turned out that Noires parents were throwing a huge ass party there, we were going to turn around and leave but unfortunately one of the guests that hated mine and Noire's guts saw us and came over. I think her name was Elicia. The only reason I remembered that god awful bitch was because I went to her wedding with my parents and after the actual ceremony, everybody wanted to be in a picture with me instead of her. I mean how was that my fault? Bitch shouldn't have invited someone hotter than her. She hates Noire too, has for the past 200 something years but that's a longer and slightly more complicated story. I'm sure it wasn't because Noire was also hotter than her at the wedding, but that probably didn't help.

Anyways she came over and started causing a scene like she always did and oh shit… Everyone's coming over here, and there's Mr. and Mrs. Lunaris unaware as usual. Well there goes leaving undetected. I swear I was gonna set this bitches hair on fire. Meanwhile Natallia and Lucifer are just standing there not really knowing what to do. And holy shit Elicia just wouldn't fucking shut up. "I mean really, people like you make my blood run cold" she continued. Her voice was seriously starting to get annoying at that point so I said the first thing that came to mind, which was "Well then, I hope your blood freezes in your veins like ice and kills you so you can finally shut the fuck up." Well that worked, is what I had originally thought as she turned around and walked through the crowd, toward the house, and thankfully away from us. And the crowd was silent, some looked shocked, most looked happy, and some of them were glaring at me. So I said to the crowd "To all the dumbfucks glaring at me, you know who you are" and I raised both middle fingers in the air and started walking away.

We were gonna get back into the car and leave when we saw Mrs. Lunaris coming over. Oh shit. It's not that Mrs. Lunaris is mean or hates any of us or anything like that but she can be a bit over the top sometimes. "Noire! I haven't seen you in so long, you never visit any more. Your father and I miss having you around the house. Oh my gods Cyanide! I haven't seen you since the wedding, you should have called me, we have so much to catch up on!" Over the top or not, Noires parents are nice. Just then she turned and saw Lucifer and Natallia "Oh my god Noire actually made friends!" she seemed really excited about this. Then she invited us inside, we caught up, had tea and she gave us a room to stay in for the night.

 We were all discussing what had happened, the cabin, the spell, who the fuck the Demon White Rabbit was. "Well they mentioned that this world is like our world's video games right? Maybe the Demon White Rabbit is something like an admin." said Natallia.

She made a good point. We continued to talk for a few more hours "You think we'll run into any weird monsters? Like actual monsters like plants that get up and chase you down, not the annoying civilians that we killed in Winter City. Or any bosses?" asked Lucifer.

"Dude you're only asking that cuz you want to see what a tentacle plant monster really feels like, you and your weird plant fetish would love that" said Natallia jokingly. We all laughed at that one. Everyone knows that the only games Lucifer plays are his weird perverted ones.

"But he does bring up a good point though, are there any actual mobs or are we just going town to town murdering and looting?" I asked. Though if there were no mobs, murdering and looting actually sounds kinda nice.

" _You kill things, do quests, go through dungeons, and level up. Then you head to the next town over and so on_ , that kinda implies that there should be monsters" Lucifer pointed out. We talked for a bit more before Noire pointed out that it was daytime now "Look the suns coming up, as the locals used to say ‘goodnight you assholes’ I'm going to sleep" he said as he went over to one of the beds. The party had died down enough to actually sleep so the rest of us just followed Noires example and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Next chapter you find out why Cyanide set the building on fire  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	5. Burn Motherfucker Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason the house was on fire in the begining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter

So we woke up the next night and it looked like the party had started up again while we were sleeping. We learned it was some kind of holiday, by the looks of the party, a kind of second New Years. We figured that we could join the party for a while before we left, so for a few hours we went around and talked to people. Meaning we all helped ourselves to the champagne, Natallia went around and talked to people, Noire went back upstairs to the company of his computers, Lucifer helped himself to the buffet, and I went around pickpocketing the losers at this party. 

After about an hour and a half we all went back up to Noire’s room and we checked through the wallets I stole. After that we started going through the phones I stole to see if any of the information on them was valuable. There wasn't any, all these people were losers and completely useless and really boring too. I mean no useful information or even amusing secrets. Wow these people suck.

Speaking of people that sucked, Elicia just barged into the room and started screaming at me. "Oh my... Holy shit you're a thief too?! I knew it! I knew there was something wrong with you! I'm going to tell everyone!" she screamed. And right then and there I knew exactly what to do. I was gonna set her hair on fire. As she turned around to run out of the room I slammed the door shut in her face. Ah the perks of magic, I never have to get off my ass. Of course her response had to be something stupid "Oh you think you can scare me with magic?! Well I know magic too so you cant hurt me Nocturne!" she screamed as she prepared to throw a fireball at me. Wow did she just refer to me by my last name? Oh cool, she had a health bar now, I guess it appears when someone tries to fight you or something. Of course since she's a noob wizard I just went back to going through the wallets and then she actually threw a fireball at me. Or at least I think she was aiming at me, I cant really be sure considering how badly she missed. I guess she didn't realise that fire, air, darkness, and those kinds of magics aren't a physical object, and you cant throw them like you would throw a rock. Wow I cant believe that whoever taught her didn't teach her that or that she couldn't figure that out by herself. That's hilarious. Aaaand she started screaming at me again.

Then I finally decided to do something. I looked up from the phone I was messing with for a second, snapped my fingers, made a fireball behind her head and set her hair on fire. To which she responded to by screaming and ripping her wig off to reveal that her hair was green. I've seen that shade of green before, its the result of trying to dye your hair bright green like my natural colour but not bleaching your hair light enough before putting in the green dye. I know it so well because a ton of people at the university in our old universe thought the colour looked cool and tried to copy it. Those poor idiots never realised that it was my natural colour. So naturally after recognising that colour I said "Holy shit, you jealous bitch, you didn't hate cuz I was an asshole, you hated me after the wedding cuz you wish you were me"  
"Not even, I wanted it this colour!" she yelled.  
So I pointed out "Bitch nobody wants their hair the same colour as dying seaweed and dying seaweed is the colour you get when you try for my natural colour and fuck up. Your hair colour right now is the colour of fail."  
So she tries to throw another lightning bolt at me, this one almost doesn't miss, I mean it only blew up one of the cars parked on the street all the way down the driveway. Note the sarcasm. 

At this point I'm getting bored of watching the noob wizard fail at all things magic so I teleport her into the middle of the hedge maze in the back yard. I figured that would make her fuck off. And it did for the next 3 hours.

So 3 hours later me and my friends were happily back to doing what we do at parties after we steal everyones wallets and technology, which meant Lucifer and Natallia were seducing addresses from people so we could rob their houses later and me and Noire were doing the second round of stealing shit. This round I was stealing watches and necklaces and Noire was doing bracelets and car keys. We looked around to see if we had missed anyone when we noticed that Mr. and Mrs. Lunaris were gone, I dunno how they always seem to get away with bailing on their own parties. Really, most people who do that end up getting their house wrecked. Oh well, dosent matter. 

Its actually funny that we steal shit though, I mean after what we did to those rich assholes back in our universes Winter City, we're rich. We actually don't need any of the stuff we steal. And we even learned the hard way that literally rolling around in money and jewelry is uncomfortable and could result in getting a piece of jewelry somewhere you don't want a piece of jewelry... yeah that happened. We decided after that to never try that again for obvious reasons.

Anyways we looked over the crowd and made sure we didn't miss anyone, we hadn't. So all these people were useless to us now, and speaking of useless, Elicia just walked back in. She hadn't seen us yet and thankfully we got outside without being spotted by that psycho. Just then I thought of a way to get rid of Elicia and make robbing all these peoples houses a lot easier. I turned towards my friends and they all had the same look, the look that said do it. So I turned back to the house and threw a fireball through the window. And then we all learned something about this universe, we learned that physics in this universe is fucked. And I mean seriously fucked, I mean the whole house was on fire within 5 seconds and as I mentioned in the beginning, even the water was on fire. So glad we're not in there, sucks for the people that are I guess.

And that leaves us at right now, back to where the story began. "Well there goes the house" said Mrs. Lunaris from behind us.  
"We thought you guys had already left" said Noire.  
"We were about to when we saw you guys sneaking out of the house. Oh and don't worry about setting the house on fire, we've been meaning to redo the place from the ground up anyways" replied Mr. Lunaris  
"What about the guests?" asked Natallia.  
"Weren't they your friends?" asked Lucifer.  
Mr. and Mrs. Lunaris looked at each other before laughing and Mrs. Lunaris responded with "Not really, we're a lot like you kids when it comes to friends. We have our actual friends and we have tons of other people that we keep around simply for appearances." It's really strange when Noires' parents refer to us as kids, I mean they're demons so they don't age, they look around the same age as us actually. But in reality they're both thousands of years old. Just then the front door of the house began to open. Until Mrs. Lunaris snapped her fingers and all the doors slammed shut. The Mr. Lunaris said short spell and the doors disappeared completely, effectively trapping everyone inside.  
"Well, cant afford to have any witnesses now can we" said Mr. Lunaris, smiling.

We all chatted for a bit then me and my friends stole a GPS from one of the cars and went and robbed the houses at the addresses we had. This resulted in a few more weapons being added to the stash in the trunk, more food in the bag we grabbed to put the food in, more technology in general, and more things that could be pawned off. After robbing all those houses we were finally on our way to Halloween Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	6. Not Lost

We're not lost. Nope. That’s not a thing that’s happening. I mean yes the signal for the GPS cut out and yes we're parked at a crossroads and don't know which way to go but we refuse to acknowledge that were lost yet. Acknowledging you're lost is something you do after a party member dies and that hasn't happened yet. So here we are waiting for someone else to pass by that hopefully knows where they're going. 

Well it's been a whole day. We're bored. “This waiting thing is some horrible shit, you think we should see if there’s mobs in the forest?” I asked. They were probably about as bored as I was, and we were running out of berries to go with the cake. “I'll take anything that might be interesting at this point” answered Natallia. A look around the group made it clear that that’s what we were gonna be doing for a while. Before we did that though, we set up some traps around the car so nobody could rob us. Just planted a few land mines on all sides of the road, some lasers near the car, and summoned some hell hounds and a giant nightmare plant to guard the car. And with that we were off to the forest.

So we went into the forest and there were trails, which is actually kinda weird considering the fact that we're in the middle of nowhere. “You guys see anything?” asked Lucifer.  
“There appear to be some tall things with green parts at the top. I think the locals used to call them treees? Am I saying that right?” answered Noire sarcastically. Just then some things jumped into the trail in front of us. Finally…

Well that’s kinda cool. A glowing square of light appeared all around us and the things have names and health bars. I wonder if they have descriptions. Well let’s see what we're up against.  
>Caramel Slime – A blob of caramel that became sentient and escaped the factory before it could be put into a bottle and eaten.  
>Possessed Ice Cream – Ice cream that was found by a particularly dumb, weak ghost. The ghost is stuck possessing this ice cream because it is too weak to escape the container. This ghost is vanilla flavoured.  
“Well I know how I'm dealing with this” I said as I ran at the Possessed Ice Cream with my claws out. As I tore a handful out and started eating it the Caramel Slime started to run away. It didn't get very far, a second later Lucifer was on the poor thing eating it too. Noire and Natallia were just standing there staring at us in shock. I don't know what they were expecting us to do, I mean this food literally just comes right up to us, of course we were gonna eat it. So we finish the killing the food, shove the leftovers in our inventories and keep following the trail. We run into a few more food themed mobs, adding the giant fruit they drop to our inventories and we learned 2 things. Like you can just walk out of the lines of the square, the mob doesn't follow you as long as there’s one person left inside of the lines and fights aren't turn based. I also get the feeling we're not supposed to be eating the mobs since they seem to despawn after being killed but whatever, too late now. 

So we continue to follow the trail for what feels like forever or maybe 10 minutes before we end up in a clearing, where there were more trees and a river. Ok I know we're in a forest but could they tone it down with all these trees? And the animation of these trees too, I mean one tree rustling at a time? Wow… wait, what? Oh shit! I thought right before a giant plant monster fell from the trees to the right of us and the battle field square thing lit up around us. “Oh god it looks like something out of Lucifer’s weird porn” said Natallia as she turned around to walk out of the square that appeared. “I think it actually is” added Noire, turning to follow her. So I decided to read it's description.  
>Giant Possessed Plant – A large plant possessed by a perverted ghost. The spirits perversion has shaped this plant into the abomination it is today. The Giant Possessed Plant is non deadly, preferring to play with it's victim and then leave.  
I turned to Lucifer and said “You always wanted to know what these felt like right?”  
Lucifer turned to me smiling “Hell yeah”  
So I told him “Well it's non-deadly and we'll be back for you in an hour” And with that, I kissed him and left the encounter as well.

When I left the encounter I saw Natallia but Noire wasn't there. Natallia explained that He had gone off to search for something with a soul to eat and would be back in about an hour. Then she also left to go find something with actual blood instead of fruit flavoured syrup, leaving me alone to try to think of something to do for an hour. I decided to also go searching for something with a soul but for a different reason. You see, souls are a kind of currency in the world of magic, so are rare ingredients but those are called rare for a reason, they're hard to find. Souls are much easier to find, the reason they're worth so much is because it's hard to find ones that are good quality and in one piece. The ones that aren't inside of a body are generally not in good condition, and the ones that are still inside people are a pain to remove and removing them shreds them around the edges too.

Lucky for me I got a ton of practice in my old universe, I mean I was literally paid by other students at the university to get rid of people and the easiest way to get rid of someone is to rip out their soul because after you remove the soul, the body either drops dead right there or kinda just wanders off and does it's own thing. Usually that thing is something stupid that gets them killed, like the guy that decided to try and rob the most powerful drug supplier in the city or the girl that tried to rob a bank and took everyone inside hostage or the guy that decided to see what the inside of a live lion was like, the list goes on.

So anyways I’m exploring the forest and I find a summer camp looking place but before I start yanking out souls I give them a chance to be spared, I ask a simple question “Do any of you know which road goes to Halloween Town?” I listened for a bit but all I got was “I don't know” and “not sure” And with that I started ripping out souls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	7. Actually Not Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Away from all the trees and finally on their way to Halloween Town

The whole camp is on fire, everyone’s dead, and I’m bored. I got enough souls to buy whatever I want after murdering the camp and even found a few rare ingredients when I searched the houses before setting the camp on fire. And that leaves me with half an hour to do something else. The camp has wifi so I pull out my laptop and look at random shit on YouTube for half an hour before heading back to the clearing to get Lucifer. Oh god I’m afraid of what I might see.

So I follow the trail back to the clearing and see Natallia and Noire playing on their phones just outside of the clearing. I walk past them into the clearing seeing Lucifer sleeping in the middle of the clearing, looks like he decided to clean himself up and get dressed before blacking out. And the plant monster is gone so I don’t have to deal with that. I wonder if he found a way to keep the plant or some shit, then I notice a piece of paper near his head _Summoning Spell – Giant Possessed Plant_. Well that answers that. I text Noire and Natallia telling them that Lucifer’s dressed and his weird hentai plant is gone. I leave out the part where he has a spell that could bring it back at any time, completely under his control. I feel like that’s the kind of thing that should be kept a secret. Knowing him, a secret he would probably keep in a box under his bed.

They come over and we start talking about how we're gonna get to Halloween Town without a GPS. Lucifer wakes up at some point and joins the conversation. We're about to go back to the burned down remains of the camp I found to get wifi to google it or find a map when we hear an explosion, followed by more explosions, and then a lot more explosions coming from the direction of the crossroads where we parked. “For some reason I feel like we should have put less land mines” I said.  
“Too late now” responded Lucifer.  
“Hopefully those losers had a map” said Natallia.  
“I wonder if their souls are still gonna be around the site” Noire said as we all started following the trail back.

When we got back to the road we saw another car but unlike ours this car was on fire and surrounded by ghosts. For a few minutes we just watched the car burn. Normally that wouldn't be considered very interesting but as mentioned before, physics in this universe is fucked, and since physics is fucked, fire doesn't burn normally. Fire is a lot more interesting to watch in this universe, currently it's swirling around the car, making shapes, and burning all the colours you could imagine. The fire goes out a few minutes later and the ghosts just start heading back down the road the way they came.

So we go into the car and start searching, we don't find much but we did find a fucking map. Unfortunately this was the old school type of map where you needed to know which way was fucking north to find which way to go. Like, motherfucker we're lost, we don't know which fucking way is north, we don't know where any-fucking-thing is, that’s the whole point of being lost. No wonder people always died looking for places 200 years ago, their way of finding places sucked. Anyways now we have to find a fucking compass because the ones on our phones are all pointing in different directions, which means we're going back to the camp I burned down because this car doesn’t seem to have one anywhere. Well, that or we could set up a few more landmines and wait for another car to pass by, don't know how long that would take though.

In the end we decided to set up a few more landmines and go back to search the camp. We get back to the camp only to find that despite the fact that I set the whole place on fire when I left, the place was back to perfect condition. Abandoned but completely repaired. Unfortunately though, there's no more wifi. We've seen enough movies to know where this is going so instead of splitting up like idiots and getting killed, we stick together. Covering more ground be damned, I ain't being dragged into some nightmare dimension by some angry spirit cuz I was stupid enough to go off alone. Fuck that. About an hour later we can’t find a single compass anywhere. “Aren't these camp type places supposed to have compasses and maps and all that old school type shit?” asked Noire. "How the fuck would I know?" I answered. I was about to point out that we had only searched one building so far too but before I could say anything there was a bunch of explosions from the road. Some more people had just driven into our trap.

We headed back to the road to a familiar scene, a car, colourful fire, and ghosts walking back the way they came. Everything looked the exact same as it did last time, the only real difference was that this time the car had a compass instead of a map. Now that we had both the map and the fucking compass we could finally continue our trip to Halloween Town. I feel like we probably should have cleaned up the rest of the land mines before we left the crossroads but we were feeling lazy so we just left them, we figured that eventually enough cars would pass by to clear that mess up anyways. So we were officially on our way to Halloween Town. Fucking took long enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	8. It's All The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little about the past and the present.

“Holy shit how far is this place?” asked Natallia. That’s actually good question, I mean we've been in the car for at least 3 hours, we've passed a ton of towns and shit, we've even gotten bored of passing through towns and setting buildings on fire, and we've run out of things to talk about too. Boring times like these make me miss our old universe, I mean in our old universe I'm pretty sure Winter City and Halloween Town were closer together, like 4 hours apart maybe? 

Speaking of Winter City, I don't think we actually saw the university we went to, which is weird. I mean literally everything in the places that existed in the old universe is in the exact same place we remember, seriously, even magic ingredients shop in that café behind the bookshelf illusion. I mean it feels like the admin might have made a replica of our old world and just put that on top of the already existing world. But how would they know about hidden places like that ingredients shop too? There’s a charm on that entrance, the only way to find that shop is if you already know it's there, well that or you're the type of idiot that likes to go running head first into bookshelves. I feel like if we checked, all the other hidden places we knew would be there too. So whys the university missing?

Speaking of the university it probably seems weird that we would be in a university at all. Except for maybe Lucifer because he’s actually human but believe it or not, Lucifer’s about as old as the rest of us, as I mentioned before magic has its perks. Anyways the reason we were at a university was because we like to keep somewhat up to date on stuff, so we drop in every hundred years or so. That way we don't stick out by talking like your grandparents and other shit like that. Also a PhD from a hundred years ago looks a lot less legit hanging up on the wall of an office than a recent-ish one. I wish they wouldn't put the date on those fuckers.

That habit meant we all changed jobs every hundred years or so or at least we used to when we had legal jobs. But this time around we needed medical degrees and licenses for the latest thing we were going to pull. So we decide to open a hospital. Great way to cover up a drug and organ trafficking operation we were planning to start up. Clearly shit doesn't always go as planned because here we are in another universe, all because of a fucking spell we found in an abandoned cabin.

Holy shit, I can't seem to get my mind off the café and the missing university. I feel like it's supposed to mean something. I mean everything else is here, why is the university the only thing missing, was there something important there? What we all know about the university is that it was next to the Haunted Ass Woods, it was cursed by a wizard that had a grudge against the principal, it was built on top of the charred remains of an old wizard academy that burned down, which was built on top of the remains of a church that was overtaken by demons, which was built on top of a graveyard, which was on top of another graveyard, on top of another graveyard, and all of this was on top of the place where the gates of hell had once opened up. Ok never mind, that sounds cursed as fuck, I can see why the admin wouldn't want that around if they had a choice. I'm beginning to understand why they wanted to tear the university down and build another one somewhere else now.

It’s really too bad that it's not here in this universe though. I have some good memories of that place. Like the church across the road from the university would always burn down. One of the best stories is this one time some people decided to play a prank and it made everyone think the school was haunted. I was surprised that they didn’t think the place was haunted before, I mean with the history of the place I'd be more surprised if it wasn't haunted. Well what happened was the principal called in some of his exorcist friends from the neighbouring town to exorcise the place and I remember when they started praying, they all caught on fire and ran screaming out of there and then the church the city insisted on rebuilding across the street caught fire too and we all got the day off, and got to watch the firemen try to put out the fire, it was awesome.

Hoping I had wasted a lot of time replaying that memory in my head, I checked my phone only to find out that only a few minutes had passed. Funny thing this game universe did to all my technology, now there’s infinite space, internet connection almost everywhere, and it's essentially become the menu screen minus the time stopping abilities that opening the menu has in other games. But that’s not important, the important thing is that there’s internet connection everywhere which means it's pirating time, time to see what new games exist in this universe. Websites look the same but all these, games, movies, books are new to me. Nice, I’m playing games while I'm in a game, what a loser. Since everything else is new, I wonder if the porn is more interesting too…I'll check that out later.

Another hour passes and we pass a sign _Welcome to Halloween Town – Where it's Halloween every day._ It's been forever since I last came here but I remember this town living up to its name hope it still does. As we enter the city we get an alert on all our devices, which doesn't sound that bad but between me and Noire, it's deafening. The alerts all say the same thing.

-New Quest –

Find me, much has happened, we have much to discuss~♥

From: The Demon White Rabbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	9. Halloween Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of backstory, a little bit of almost porn

We're here. Finally. So now we have to find this Demon White Rabbit, shit. “Motherfucker didn't give us a location, we ain't searching this entire town” Of course just as I finished saying that, all the devices we had out in the car went off again, this time they did break the windows. “Holy shit!” Natallia and Lucifer both yelled.

What the fuck was that?” asked Lucifer.

“What the actual fuck were you two trying to do with all those phones and laptops back there?” asked Natallia.

Me and Noire kinda just looked at each other and started laughing. You're probably wondering how many things we had out to make the alerts going off loud enough to break the windows. Well, when we were looting in Winter City, me and Noire pretty much shoved 3 electronics stores worth of things into our inventories, we planned to sort out what to keep when we got to a hotel in Halloween Town but we decided to get a head start in the car, when the first alert went off we had a quarter of the smaller things out. Doesn't sound like much but a quarter of the inventory of 3 electronics stores is a lot and it was only the small devices the first time. This time we pretty much all the small devices out. Yeah… I'm just glad we weren't in the car when that happened. Anyways the message said

 

PM From: The Demon White Rabbit

Glad to see you made it in one piece, I forgot to mention where and when we would be meeting. We're going to be meeting in the hidden café in the hotel you’re staying in two days from now.

Natallia, you know the one ♥~

PS. Noire and Cyanide, what did you think would happen if you had 300 devices out in the car? ♥~

 

Well that makes it easier. We don't know exactly which hotel this fuckers talking about since Natallia’s family controls about 75% of this city but it's probably one of the nicer ones. Yeah there’s another reason we chose to go to Halloween Town, other than the fact that it's not boring, Natallia’s family is the mafia and they pretty much run this entire town and a ton of the surrounding ones. Essentially we can do whatever we want here and unlike everywhere else, it's not just because any of us can snap our fingers and kill any human who decides to give us shit for it. Another thing I've noticed, it's only ever humans that have a problem with the things we do or just things in general. It's like when you're a normal human you just don't know how to calm the fuck down and enjoy things. Those motherfuckers always feel the need to overcomplicate things.

Anyways… we're not going to the hotel yet. It's been a while since any of us have been in Halloween Town. I wanna see the club me and my other friends had started up in this town is still alive, but that’s not the important part, the important part is the hidden magic library in the basement, I remember the name of the club was _Shadows Will Eat You Alive_. I remember naming it that because of how creepy the shadows in the place looked with the original lighting. Originally we had shoved souls in jars and lit the place that way so it makes sense that the place looked kinda creepy. So I'm going to check out the library part and see what new spells I can copy into my book. Natallia went to go see some of her friends, Noires probably off to more of his nerd stores, and Lucifer said something about more magic ingredient shops. But first things first, me and Noire pack all the stuff we had out in the car back into our inventories before the next alert can blow up the car all together.

Well here I am outside the Shadows Will Eat You Alive. I wonder if my friends are still running this place. I head in and walk through the giant speaker illusion into the hidden basement. I wonder if my friends are still in Halloween Town. Just as I finished that thought a book hit me in the back of the head but before I could even look around for the fucker who threw the book, someone grabbed my cloak, turned me around and was kissing me, wow they're a good kisser, so I started kissing them back. They taste familiar, like blood and candy canes. I love this taste.

“Aria?” I asked wanting to be sure.

I would look up but they're hugging me and my heads kinda buried in their boobs and I really don't want to pull away, my glasses are probably smudged so I probably couldn't see at this point anyways.

“Hell yeah motherfucker!” she answered. Then she asked “Me and Violetta missed you. Why the fuck don't you visit anymore?”

“I've been busy, remember how I escaped from hell after the clusterfuck began? Well I went back and talked to the dumbfucks who took my throne in the northern part of hell and I got it back. Then I had to-” I started but she cut me off.

“I watched the records and talked isn't the word I would use for what you did. Your kingdom hadn't seen a massacre like that in a long time.”

 

~Flashback~

_The war that had started in hell had ended 5 years ago. All types of shit had happened but there were only 2 things truly mattered. My lover and co-leader of the kingdom Samhain had been killed and left hanging from the chandelier when I returned to the library. And there had been too many armed demons for me to fight without a weapon so my kingdom was taken over by some dumbfuck who called himself Shade._

_It was after 5 years that things in hell were finally starting to calm down, not for long though. The people of my kingdom knew that I didn’t like to leave things unfinished, they were nervous, and for good reason. The reason I was gone for so long was because I was putting together a special spell book, and after 5 years I had completed it._

_When I came back I didn't just walk in unannounced though, I sent a letter a year before I returned. And Shade was the single stupidest leader I have ever encountered._ _When I got there he had put all sorts of warding to prevent demons who weren't part of his kingdom from entering, summoned Cerberus to guard the only entrance, and armed all the people in the kingdom. I had assumed that leader were supposed to be all observant but clearly not. His first mistake was assuming that I was a demon. I mean sure it wasn't common knowledge in the kingdom that I'm a warlock but the signs were all over the castle. I probably don't even have to say that the warding didn't work because I'm not a demon. His second mistake was assuming Cerberus was enough to stop me. Cerberus seemed to remember me because it took off running the other way at the sight of me. Unfortunately Cerberus wasn't fast enough and I ripped out its spine and used that as my magic staff when I got into the kingdom. His third and final mistake was assuming that the people that had once been part of my kingdom would be stupid enough to try and fight me or that the ones that were would stand a chance. Or that the people guarding the castle could stand a chance. Though only a small part of the population was stupid enough to try and fight me, I had a pretty big kingdom. There was enough demon blood spilled to make the rivers run black for a while._

_Suffice to say that when I opened the doors to the throne room and just walked in casually, Shade looked pretty scared but then again, who wouldn't be if they had heard the screams of thousands dying, saw the spine of Cerberus being used as a staff and watched the river run black with blood. Of course one thing surprised me, Samhain’s body was being kept in a glass case on display in the middle of the throne room. Which was actually a great thing, bringing her back was what the spell book I had created was for. I remember the look of sheer terror on his face when he looked past me and the newly revived Samhain and into the hallway to see all his guards and hell hounds dead, it was quite amusing. Anyways, I decided to leave for a while, Samhain is ruling our kingdom and I think Shade is still in the prison under the castle to this day._

~Flashback Ends~

 

“Ok fine, talked isn't quite the word I would use either” I agreed.

“It was so cool, and watching you murder thousands and make the river run black with demon blood was kinda hot” she said before pulling me in for another kiss.

When we pulled apart for air I saw that her eyes had turned back to their natural electric blue colour. Another nice thing about Halloween Town, the closest thing to a normal human in this town is some of the wizards so nobody actually has to hide their true appearance. Which means I can finally stretch out my wings. Fuck it’s so nice to not have to keep them hidden. “Almost forgot you have wings, you never show them” she said as she ran her hands roughly through the feathers. I'm not even gonna try and describe the sound I made when she did that. Then she backed me up against one of the bookshelves and continued kissing me. Then I ‘accidentally’ cut my tongue on one of her fangs and she moaned, loving the taste of my blood, and reached for the zipper on the back of my dress. I pulled away, remembering that the library isn't exactly abandoned and asked a simple two word question “Back room?” The look she gave me was all the answer I needed as she grabbed me by my scarf and started pulling me in the direction of the back room. I'm not gonna go into detail but I'm sure anyone can guess what we did for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	10. Waking Up and Fairy Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 in Halloween Town.

What the fuck? Not exactly the nicest way to be woken up. Some motherfucker’s pounding on the door. “Open the door right now! I know you're in there!” They don't seem to be going away anytime soon so I open my eyes and look around the room. I smile to myself as I take in the disaster this room is now compared to yesterday, books knocked off shelves, pages scattered on the floor, my dress hanging from the chandelier, few feathers scattered on the floor, and the best part, Aria still naked beside me. The only thing that would make this better would be ice cream and if the motherfucker at the door would fuck off. Unfortunately this room is magic proof so I can't just fire a lightning bolt through the door and make them shut up but I do have ice cream. So I pull out my laptop and place what’s left of the Possessed Ice Cream in one of the decorative crystal bowls on the table and start looking through my inventory for what else was good. As I’m doing that, Aria sits up and asks

“The hells going on?”

“Fuck if I know, does it even matter? They'll probably get tired and fuck off eventually, and if they don't then can we deal with it after breakfast?” I say gesturing to the ice cream, cake, ice cream cake, fruit and milkshakes on the table.  
Aria agrees to deal with whoever is outside after some ice cream cake and we're eating until we get to the ice cream. Just as we begin eating, the person at the door seems to leave.

“Is that ice cream something you got from a forest?” she asked looking amused. I looked her dead in the eyes and said “Maybe” in a completely serious tone. Then we both start laughing.

“Holy shit, nobody’s ever kept actual record of what those taste like because they have a health bar, and you just grab one and shove it into your inventory. What’s wrong with you?” she asks jokingly.

“It's made of food” I answer.

We just began digging into the ice cream when the person that was outside returns. But this time there is no annoying knocking, we turn around as we hear the sound of the key being turned. The door opens to reveal a slightly annoyed looking Violetta. Her expression turns to surprise, then happiness, then back to annoyed when she sees me and Aria barely wearing anything.

“Would you two put some clothes on already?” she asked. “I got nothing to do till tomorrow, why don't you join us?” was my genius reply.

Of course her response was some holy magic bullets flying past my head and “Maybe later but right now we're going to pick up a new shipment of ancient books” she said as she grabbed Aria, who had gotten dressed while we were talking, and dragged her out the door, and closed it behind her.

Well they're gone and now I’m bored. I would go through the library again for more spells but I'm sure I didn't miss anything after the second trip through. Normally I would be burning this place down but I like this place, I mean I did kinda open this place, and most of these books are mine, with a few additions from Aria and Violetta over the years. Im glad they were important enough to exist in this universe too. Well, not much left to do but head back up to the club, judging by the music and voices as I walk back up the stairs, the place is probably pretty full by now.

Wow. The place is packed, well it's always packed but I mean more than usual, which is impressive. Since I have a day left to kill, and everybody I can be bothered to remember is busy, I decide to go back into the VIP area and grab a room for myself. Then I pull out my laptop and start watching movies, I get bored of that pretty quickly, so I decide to find out if the porn in this universe is interesting at all. I find out pretty quickly that it's different but not all that interesting, and for a second I even consider summoning the Possessed Plant in Lucifer's spell but quickly shut that idea down. Shit, I'm turning into Lucifer, now that's a disturbing thought. So in the end I decide to do what I did the last few times I was here. So I order a few vases of Fairy Blood flowers, wait for the person who brought them to leave, and begin eating them. I love how these flowers were named, like one day someone saw a bright purple flower and their first thought was, this is probably what fairy blood looks like. As for why I'm eating them, well, it's fun. Not many people know of this effect because it doesn't do anything if you're a ghost, normal human, werewolf, or anything that doesn’t have more magic in your veins than blood. But if you are one of the magic races, then these flowers are like drugs, which is to say, they're fucking awesome. There are tons of plants that have fun effects on magic users but these flowers are my favourite because they taste like rainbows.

~17 Hours Later~ 

“Holy shit! Would you fucking snap out of it” somebody yelled, shaking me awake.

Wow, I think I'd prefer somebody yelling and pounding on the door over this.

“How many of those fucking flowers did you eat?” they asked.

I looked up to find the motherfucker who had woken me was Lucifer. He’s still going on about how were supposed to be meeting the person who might be an admin but I'm more interested in getting more of those flowers, and maybe kissing him. I mean, he’s close enough. So I do, he doesn't really react much, just pulls away and starts dragging me outside to the car. Must have been tricky with the wings and all.

“If you aren't gonna hide them in this town, could you at least fold them up, the cars cramped enough with the 4 of us  There's not gonna be enough space for the 5 of us."

Now I might be high but that doesn't sound quite right. “Five of us? There’s only 4 of us, where did you learn to math?” I asked. “Natallia’s driver is with us, we're going to the hotel now. So fucking fold your wings up so we can all fit in the car” He answered. So I folded my wings up and got into the car.

At some point in the ride there, the flowers wore off and I fell asleep. My wings must have opened up while I was asleep because when Natallia woke me up, Noire and Lucifer were outside, shaking feathers out of their hair and clothes. “Yo, wake the fuck up, we're here, get your feathery ass out of the car!” yelled Lucifer from outside. The flowers had completely worn off at this point so I could actually be bothered to move. So I folded my wings up and got out of the car and took a good look at the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	11. Magic Requires Focus? I Have Never Seen Cyanide Or Lucifer Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Natallia did before the group set out to find exactly where the fuck Cyanide went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took so long, The entire week has been a clusterfuck with all the packing and moving.

Natallia

Since I have returned to this town, I feel like I should visit my parents. Just to keep up appearances of course, also I’m pretty sure they would send someone to track me down if I didn’t visit. Actually, I would rather spend a week in hell after her warlock highness murdered a quarter of her kingdom than be trapped spending the day with them but news that I’m back in town has probably already gotten back to headquarters. I guess that’s the curse of your family pretty much owning the entire town. So here I am outside of headquarters. I’m glad that despite being horrible people, my parents have decent taste. Headquarters is one of the best restaurants in the city and home of the best sushi in the continent. Now with any luck they are either busy or not in town all together.

And I have no such luck, in fact they had someone waiting for me by the counter. Well this is going to be a nightmare no matter how you look at it, I just hope it will be over quickly, I thought as they led me upstairs. They led me to the lounge instead of the office, oh gods if there’s another event going on. When they opened the door I was surprised to see only my parents were in there, this is a good thing but he fact that we’re the only ones in here is making me regret not stealing an iPod and some better headphones when we were looting in Winter City. “Look, news that you are back in town has already spread all over town.” said my mother accusingly. Wow, it feels so strange calling her that, in fact I find it strange to refer to them as my parents, so instead I’ll refer to them by their names, Cadence and Vince. Before she could start a fight, Vince said “Let’s cut to the chase, we don’t want to deal with you and you don’t want to deal with us, let’s go downstairs to the restaurant, get a good picture taken for the news, answer some questions for the press, and then we can all be on our way.” I agreed with that idea, it seemed like the path of least casualties.

Wanting to look even more out of your league than usual, I chose a dress from my inventory and went to another room to get dressed. I found this one when we went looting, dark blue with sparkles, pretty much the way night time would look without all the light pollution. After I got changed I headed downstairs to the restaurant. The sushi was as good as I remembered it, wine selection on the other hand, that could use some work. Dinner was uneventful, cameras flashing, press asking questions, parents answering said questions in a way that made me look like the villain, reporters getting too nosy, and one idiot asking me out on a date, typical stuff.

Gods, these people annoy me. Times like these make me wonder how well I can actually use magic, I mean I definitely wouldn’t be as good as Lucifer or Cyanide but they have more magic than blood in their veins. Still, magic was the reason I left this town, more importantly it gave me an excuse to not be around my parents and their annoying friends. I didn’t know I could even use magic before Lucifer and Cyanide taught me magic, or at least they tried to…

~Flashback~

_Day 1_  
_“Where are you guys?” I asked quietly as I wandered the forest at the outskirts of Halloween Town. Those two had agreed to teach me magic since I was curious and kept asking, they said to meet here so where in hell were they? “Holy hell, you’re actually on time” said Lucifer from one of the trees, I pity that tree, knowing Lucifer... “Well let’s get started” said Cyanide who had appeared behind me. I need to learn how to teleport._

_Day 4_  
_“It’s magic, not a fucking rock” said Lucifer. “That means focus on where you want it to go and shit like that” added Cyanide who was digging through a box of spell books. “Found it! Natallia, next time we’re trying something else.” she said. I feel like I should be afraid._

_Day 8_  
_“This is taking too long, you need more practice, let’s try this somewhere else with more materials.” said Cyanide said as we pulled up to the curb. She got out and started walking, I followed her to a graveyard. I had a few questions, like what the hell? Why in hell were we in a graveyard? What materials do you need from a graveyard? You’re not just looking for an excuse to go grave robbing again are you? Fucking warlocks, haha, well I guess I’m the one fucking this warlock but still…The question I decided to ask was “Where’s Lucifer?” To which she answered “He’s out of town on some wizard business, gathering ingredients or some shit like that”_  
_“Why are we in the graveyard?”_  
_“Tons of ingredients around”_  
_“We’re gathering ingredients?”_  
_“Not exactly”_  
_“Then what?”_  
_“You’re gonna try and learn necromancy”_  
_“Wait. What the fuck?! Are you serious? And in a graveyard?” I asked, actually surprised at this._  
_“Well no shit, you need dead things to bring dead things back to life” she then gestured all around us “Plenty of dead things, also it's fucking easy” she said, passing a book to me. She then walked over to a grave, this one was in the back where everything was overgrown and completely abandoned, said some spell in a language I didn’t recognize. The grave caught on fire and then the person just crawled out of their grave and started walking toward us. I had never seen a person come back to life before, and this one wasn’t all that well put together so I did the first thing that came to mind. “Holy shit! Zombie!” I screamed and pulled out my gun and shot the zombie in the head. I then realised that I was supposed to learn how to bring them back from the dead and that was supposed to happen. My thoughts were interrupted by Cyanide’s laughing “Wow, oh my fucking god, well at least I know you know what to do when a zombie apocalypse happens” she said._

_Day 13_  
_“Holy fuck!” yelled Cyanide when I nearly hit her with a lightning bolt. We had given up on necromancy after that graveyard ran out of bodies. Now we were just trying out everything in one of the spell books that Cyanide put together. “Holy shit! I did it!” I yelled before doing something of a victory dance. Since it was the only thing that had gone successfully on the first attempt, that’s what we practiced for the rest of the week._

_Day 17_  
_Lucifer had returned today, apparently he left for some other town to get some weird rare ingredient for some spells. So far nothing I’ve been taught has required ingredients, though to be fair I have yet to learn anything complicated. What I have learned is that I’m decent at zapping the living hell out of things and if I really focus I can teleport. This is good enough for me. I can use this. Now I just need some practice._

_Day 28_  
_Well it's time to make my dramatic exit. I walk into the lounge where my parents were hosting a party. “Can I get everyone’s attention” I asked after pushing the horrible singer my parents had hired off the stage and grabbing the microphone. Wow Cyanide and Lucifer are starting to rub off on me. Well it got everyone’s attention. “Oh good, you idiots understand basic english, well that makes this next part easier.” I began. Oh wow, the look of horror on my parent’s faces is hilarious. So I continued “You all know who I am, I mean who doesn’t at this point? The point is, I’m leaving for an indefinite amount of time, I am leaving because my parents are horrible people and I refuse to be around them more any longer than it will take to call them out on a few things. So to those of you that still have your heads up your asses I shall explain. Now do you people remember the fire at the university? You know the one, killed everybody, nobody could seem to get out of the building? They caused that so that the useful people among you would be vulnerable and they could worm their way into your head. Zombies being released into the hospital? Same thing. And putting an end to the witch burnings? That would be a great thing, if they hadn’t started the witch burnings in the first place. Now, not many people who know my parents are still alive, even fewer that knew my parents plans but I have met a few of them, in fact there is a few in the crowd.” People were whispering now. I continued “Would Xander Loss come up here? Or run away,hell, bail out a window. Anything you do will prove my point” I was surprised when he immediately teleported up on stage. I had honestly thought Cyanide would have to chase him down. “Would you mind being put under a truth spell?” I asked, to which he answered “I wouldn’t mind at all” So I said to the crowd “Now I don’t know how to do a truth spell so someone else is going to do that” Just as I finished that, Cyanide appeared onstage next to Xander, said something in what sounded like the same language she used to raise that dead guy, and Xander admitted to everything, and in perfect detail too. For a moment everyone appeared to be in shock. Then as everyone looked toward the back, I saw Vince trying to leave, smart of him, of course Cadence couldn’t use common sense and escape as well, instead she ran at me. So I decided to put what I learned to good use, by electrocuting the hell out of her. I turned to see Vince looking confused, which was fair, I had never zhown that I was able to use magic, but Vince was not running, I decided to throw a lightning bolt at him too, since he wasn't leaving. Since neither of them could move, I decided that was a good time to take my leave so I grabbed the fairy lights and shocked them, intending to turn them off. I guess I did more than shock them because the next thing I know they exploded and the other lights followed quickly after, so with all the lights out and broken glass everywhere, I teleported out of the lounge, into the car that Lucifer and Cyanide were waiting for me in. I leaned over into the front to kiss Cyanide and then turned to kiss Lucifer too._

~Flashback Ends~

The paparazzi was starting to get really annoying and I figured that Vince and Cadence needed a reminder of the fact that I could use magic so I sent a spark of magic down the table and into the floor, electrocuting all of them before I got up, said goodbye, and walked out the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	12. Lucifer's Time In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Lucifer did on the day off

Lucifer

Holy shit, it's about time we got here, that car trip was a nightmare. Now I can’t remember, have I started shit in this town before? Halloween Town…fuck. Well hopefully those other wizards left, died, or don’t remember me or at the very least I don’t run into them. I mean technically I’m not banned but I’m sure as hell not welcome either or maybe that was the other town. All I remember is that it was some shit about stealing some kind of magic artifact or some shit from the council, the school, the hospital, and the institution.

But none of that matters right now. What matters is one question: The fuck am I gonna do until we all meet up tomorrow? Maybe I’ll tame my new summon, yeah that’s a good idea. Mmmm~ tentacle plant monster completely under my control, I could have some fun with that. Now where did I put that spell book…

Spell Ingredients

Fairy Blood Flowers

Fairy Wing Powder

Shadow Fire Tree Leaves

Cinnamon

Dragon Blood

Warlock Blood

Fresh Ghost

Wow, who knew that controlling a fucking plant needed so many ingredients and some of these are kinda hard to find. Seriously? Shadow Fire Tree Leaves? You can only get those in Central Hell every few years. And what the fuck is FRESH ghost? This shit looks like someone put the ingredients list through google translate. The instructions are even worse, looks like someone put this shit through google translate but they weren’t satisfied with how bad they fucked it up so they put it through 4 more times. Whatever, the plant was fucking wonderful, I’m taming it.

Fairy Blood Flowers, ok that one’s pretty easy those grow everywhere and I already have some in my inventory. Had to grab the whole stash out of that ingredient shop before Cyanide ate all of them. Next is Fairy Wing Powder which I already have. Next is Shadow Fire Tree Leaves. Gonna have to rob the council building again for that one, same with the dragon blood. After that is… Cinnamon? What the fuck? Well that’s easy I thought as I walked into a Starbucks and grabbed the container. Warlock blood. Now where did Cyanide go? Fuck that, I’ll just shank someone in an alleyway. Now what the fuck is fresh ghost? Does that mean recently became a ghost? Because if that’s the case then that’ll be easy.

After grabbing all the other ingredients I decided to pay the council building a quick visit. Looks the same as the last time I was here, even the layouts the exact same. Wow I can’t believe they didn’t change it after I robbed the place. Well that means that the artifact storage room is down this hall and 6 doors down to the left. Ok, I can understand now why they didn’t feel the need to change the layout, they just installed a giant ass safe. I walked up to the safe to get a better look at it but when I leaned against it the fucker just opened. Holy shit, that’s such a fail I feel embarrassed for them. Well that makes getting the ingredients even easier than last time, at least last time I had to break a display case, fight security, and make a break for it.

After I grabbed all my ingredients and a few other rare things I decided to just head into an empty room to do the spell. I figured that security wouldn’t notice, I mean they fucking let me walk past the front entrance and into the back. I found an empty room pretty quickly and pulled up the spell on my tablet. Great thing about this universe, magic no longer fucks up technology. So first I have to combine all the ingredients, well the product looks poisonous, smells like cinnamon though. Ok now I have to pour it onto the plant. I summon the plant and quickly throw the mixture all over the plant, this appears to stun the plant. Last part, drink part of the mixture…fuck. Just as I work up the courage to drink the mixture someone starts pounding at the door and a familiar voice starts yelling “Open the door right now, you’re the same guy that robbed us and many other buildings last time!” Just like old times, I’m surprised that fucker lived this long and the fact that he doesn’t just teleport in here.

 

~Flashback~

 

_400 Years Ago_

_Fuck. Why is it that I always remember the thing I forgot after I fucking leave town? I would just teleport back to grab it but I have tons of houses that I stay in all over the country and no idea which one I left it in. Now I’m beginning to regret leaving Central Hell. I would go back but I feel like the only reason I was welcome there at all was because I was dating Noire and he kinda loved me. Problem was he lived with his grandparents and they didn’t like me at all, not sure about his actual parents though, I heard that they ran off to go live among the humans so I’ve never met them. Part of the reason I left is because of his fucking grandparents, they were so fucking racist. It’s not like I’m a normal human, I’m a fucking wizard but whatever I guess._

_Long story short there was a huge argument while Noire was out and I threw a bucket of holy water on them, set the house on fire and left. Thinking back that may have been a bit of an overreaction but in my defense they just had to bring up the reason I was in hell to begin with. Plus they dropped my crystal snowflake pendant and it shattered so I say we’re even. Unfortunately I probably won’t see Noire again and if I do he probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me since those psychos he lives with probably told him some bullshit story about how I came downstairs and tried to kill them or some shit like that. I’ve been wandering among the human world ever since but that’s not important._

_Wondering what I forgot that’s so important anyways? A scarf Noire gave me as an anniversary present, not for sentimental reasons or any of that shit, I’m looking for it because that’s what I use to track him. I’m not trying to go back to him or anything, the reason I have the scarf is because he’s tracking ME down. There was some news in hell about him leaving to find me unfortunately those news idiots didn’t think to ask him why he was trying to find me, so for the sake of not getting murdered I decided to avoid him. Of course hiding doesn’t involve not having fun, I just wanted to grab it before I got to the party and oh shit, I’m already late. Normally that’s no big deal but I’m presenting a spell for a summon I created to a bunch of useful but stuck up motherfuckers in 5 minutes so no time to see where Noire is, I have to fucking go._

_1 Hour Later_

_Well the presentation went alright, the assholes seem satisfied. Now I get to drink for the rest of the night, VIP motherfuckers! So I’m hanging out drinking ‘special mana potion’ on the balcony and eating a bouquet Fairy Blood Flowers some asshole handed me after the presentation when some motherfucker behind me pushes me off the balcony. Which if you can teleport is really more of a dick move than an actual murder attempt, so I teleport back up to the balcony, ready to punch that fucker in the face but when I get up there I find out the fucker who pushed me was Noire. Fuck… So I’m about to jump back off the balcony but before I can get there Noire grabs me by my (actually his) scarf and punches me in the face. Ok I deserved that. I fell over when he punched me and I expected him to start kicking the living hell out of me, what I didn’t expect was for him to pick me up and hug me. No, I’m not going to cry like a little bitch I thought to myself._

_Of course I have to ruin the moment by asking “How and why the fuck did you find me?”_

_“When I got home the house had been burned down with holy fire and my grandparents were telling me how you flipped your shit, came downstairs yelling, throwing holy magic everywhere, tried to kill them, and then burned the house down. They were saying that they barely made it out of there alive. Why I decided to find you? Because that was when I knew they were full of shit. I know you well enough to know that if you wanted them dead, they wouldn’t have been around to tell the story. Don’t think I didn’t see what you did to the neighbour that was talking shit about me and threatening me. I was upstairs, I saw everything. How was a little trickier. I had to track down a demon who makes deals with other demons but he couldn’t track you, so I had him track down my parents who I was told were good at tracking spells and they predicted that you would be here.”_

_Holy shit, wait a second “You made a deal with another demon?! We have to get you out of that shit!” I said._

_“You know how to do that?”_

_“I did a lot of shit and know a lot of shit. I know how to break demon contracts but the spell requires a few rare ingredients that I don’t have.”_

_1 Week Later_

_So I looked for the place with the shittiest security that would have the ingredients I needed and I found this small town in the human world called Halloween Town. Long story short I robbed the council building, school, hospital, and the Wizards Magic Research Institute. Unfortunately the council building and the research institute actually had security and I was currently being locked away because I got caught. Of course I escaped, grabbed the ingredients out of the evidence room, let them chase me around town some more, killed a good 75% of the dumbfucks chasing me, then I went back to hell and broke the contract._

~Flashback Ends~

 

Oh right, I am banned from Halloween Town, it's Central Hell I’m not welcome in. Also did they magic proof the walls and doors since last time? These motherfuckers are having a hard time breaking the door down. Since I clearly had time I decided to finish the spell on the plant. When I was done the plant took on a more crystal like appearance, the texture remained the same though. “Someone get the key!” I heard one of the surviving council members yell. Just then I had the genius idea to leave the plant, which I have full control over now, here in front of the door as a surprise for when they get in here. So I did and teleported away to find a party or something else to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	13. The Time Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They took the fucking cube.

Noire

Finally I had the day to himself. I love those assholes, they’re my best friends but I really want to explore this place on my own. I’ve memorized the entire layout of Central Hell, it's nice to explore on my own. Oh sweet, a NerdShop. I like this universe a lot more than the old one, there’s magic computer stuff. I wonder how much of this stuff I can afford…

So I bought all of it. Turns out being hella rich carries over from the old universe. Thank god we decided to screw over all those rich assholes, they got to live their dream until one of the others decides to murder them, and then we get to take everything they had. It's the best system ever. I mean it got us our mansion, the other mansions, the summer cottages, the cars, 40-something private islands, 2 small countries, and a ton of money. It's awesome, I can buy all the parts I need to make pretty much anything. Like that time we all got high and I decided to build a time machine because I can and… I think the other reason was actually for infinite pizza. I remember we all got banned from Southern Hell and the assholes from the Magic Research Institute confiscated our time machine. My love of technology has gotten us in trouble before but that time was definitely one of the most fun.

 

~Flashback~

 

_At The Party_

_“Yoooo, I’m bored” I groaned. I was gonna complain about how this party died after the pizza ran out but then I had an awesome idea. “The pizza was awesome, we should build a fuckin’ time machine so we could have motherfucking infinite pizza” I said. I didn’t get any reply so I had to look around to see if these assholes were even conscious at this point. They were, and they were looking at me with a look that said ‘go on, we’re listening’ so I did._

_One Explanation Later_

_So we’re all standing inside of a magic circle that Cyanide and Lucifer decided to carve into the hardwood floor with swords and an axe because apparently the chalk kept smudging, and that’s not what the pointy part on Cyanide’s staff is for, apparently they couldn’t just teleport us all to hell. I feel like we really could have just gone out into the parking lot for this part and used chalk but I guess they wanted an excuse to destroy the place as much as possible, glad this isn’t one of our houses. I wonder how this hella religious guy who’s house we broke into is gonna react to the especially pentagram shaped, flaming magic circle in the middle of his living room, and all the creatures just hanging out in his house. Of course Lucifer and Cyanide would have a bet to see who could wreck more of this place without magic, stupid fucking bets... I say this because just before we left, I saw one of the axes those two had used to carve the magic circle fly past my head and into a cross hanging on the wall, this was followed by Lucifer saying “Told you I wasn’t a wimp, now you owe me more feathers.” He threw that?_

_And then we were in Southern Hell, the only part of hell other than the northern part where Cyanide and Lucifer were both welcome. I got the feeling that wasn’t going to be the case for long, I mean we were here to steal the power source so we could power our time machine. “Where the fuck do you think the power source is anyways?” asked Cyanide. We all turned around to look at her, then Lucifer asked “The fuck you mean you don’t know where it is?!”_

_“How the fuck am I supposed to know? I’m from the Magic Kingdom, you know, the one in NORTHERN HELL”_

_“Isn’t your kind from hell? Aren’t you from Hell?!”_

_“Warlocks don’t all come from hell you fucking racist! And didn’t you and Noire live in hell before?”_

_“We both stayed in Central Hell and if you aren’t from Hell then where the fuck are you from?!”_

_“England you dumbfuck!”_

_“Explains the funny accent”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_Before they could start fighting, I interrupted them “We go towards the center of the capital, am I the only one who thought to grab a map before we all teleported here?”_

_“I thought magic things didn’t work in the magicless nightmare that is Southern Hell” Cyanide said. I pulled out a map on paper. “The fucks that?” asked Lucifer. Cyanide looked just as confused as Lucifer. Me and Natallia just stared at them. Have they really never used a non-magic map before? The fact that magic didn’t work was giving me a really bad feeling and the way those two were looking like they both had a plan and wanted to kill each other wasn’t helping. Maybe this was a bad idea, didn’t one of them have spell book on time travel somewhere anyways? I’m not whose it was but I’m pretty sure at least one of them can time travel._

_In The Capital_

_The hotel is nice but I feel like this trip is a seriously bad idea. I say this because the technology’s better than anywhere else in hell, which means stealing the power source probably won’t be easy. The technology’s actually quite impressive, even by my standards, I need to get into the control room and fuck around with the controls for a bit. If you think about it, sure we could just steal a time machine but I want to make my own. Which is exactly what I’m doing in this hotel room, so far it's going well, it's almost done but we still need a power source. It's being kept in the control tower so I guess were robbing the building tomorrow._

_The Next Day_

_Wow, it's just like the book said, there’s really no security guards anywhere. Yeah there’s lasers everywhere but no security guards, now how am I gonna turn all of those off…?_

_Inside The Building_

_Wow, I can’t believe they just left the power source for the cameras and lasers unlocked… That makes this a lot easier though, now if only they labeled these rooms or at least had a fucking map somewhere around here. Just as I finished that thought, I heard the game alert tone go off on my phone. “Holy shit! There’s wifi here!” This wouldn’t normally make me so happy but for a place that relies on technology as much as this place, there’s practically no wifi anywhere. Now that there is wifi, I can hack their shit, which means I’m gonna hack their shit. Oh sweet, I just got a map of the place. And the power source is on the top floor, wow this place is built like a really stupid villain’s lair._

_2 Hours Later_

_Ok, I’m beginning to understand why this place doesn’t get robbed much, “Holy shit all these fucking halls look the fucking same! Nothing is fucking labeled!” Lucifer yelled. And there’s the reason. “Yo, shut the fuck up” replied Cyanide._

_“What? You hear something with your magical warlock powers? Oh wait, magic doesn’t fucking work here!”_

_"The only thing I hear is your annoying fucking voice and it makes me wanna fucking test if the magic poison on the sharp end of my staff is an exception to this magicless nightmare. All I need to do is fucking stab you!"_

_Why the fuck can’t those two just be friends? What the fuck even happened? You know what? Fuck this. I grab both of them and shove them into a room together, slam the door shut, and lock the door from my phone. “You two aren’t getting out of there until me and Natallia get the power source from the top floor!” I yelled. We were probably going to come back to one or both of them dead but I’m getting sick of their constant arguing. “Why do those two hate each other so much anyways?” I asked. Natallia replied with “Someone spilled tea into one of the potions and it poisoned them both, they’re both convinced that the other did it. Also they don’t hate each other, they just don’t like each other. Trust me you can tell when magic users hate each other.”_

_Top Floor_

_“Wow, they don’t lock anything here do they?” joked Natallia as we walked right into what looked like a giant control room. “Apparently not” I said as I walked over to one of the hologram looking things. It looked like the controls to the building across from us so I turned off the lights on the hologram to see what would happen. And the lights to the building across from us all went out, just like I thought they would. Oh this could be fun…_

_I was digging around in the files when I found 2 that seemed interesting, Magic Blocking System, and Southern Hell Capital City. I opened up both of them and immediately started poking parts of the hologram at random on the capital city one, as I was doing that I looked out the window to find that all the building lights were changing colours and turning on and off and it looked really nice. As I was doing this Natallia came over and joined me. We were in the process of making a rainbow middle finger on every building when a bunch of alarms started going off, since we were in the control room, I just turned them off. Of course 5 minutes later they just went off again, I guess that’s our signal to leave. I walk over to the power source, try pulling it out, and it shocked me. Well that didn’t work. I try a bunch of other things too but none of those things work either, so in a fit of ‘fuck this bullshit’ I throw the hologram of the city into the wall. I really shouldn’t have done that because the next thing I know, all the lights go out. But it's not all bad, I walk over to the power source which as far as I know, was the only source of light left in the city, and I just take it, this time it works. But this brings up another problem, if this thing was supplying power to the entire city… before I could even finish that thought, the building started shaking. When the shaking stopped I heard the unmistakable screech of one of Lucifer’s summons. “I guess that means Cyanide’s dead.” said Natallia. Instead of saying anything, I just walked over to the window and saw Lucifer’s plant dragon on fire, bright green fire. I turned to Natallia and say “Cyanide’s not dead, the fire goes out when you kill her, well if there’s any security for this city at all, they’ll be a bit busy with those two. We should leave.” Just as I finish that sentence, the alarms start going off again. I wonder how the city’s gonna try and stop them._

_Outside_

_“Shouldn’t we stop them?” asked Natallia. “If you’re willing to get close enough to either of them to stop them then go ahead, I’m gonna go and steal all the other parts we need for the time machine.” I said walking toward the currently pitch black town. Natallia stays behind but I’m pretty sure it's just to watch the fight. Now how am I gonna read the signs so I steal from the right shops? Darkness in hell is different than in the human world, demons can’t see in it either. I would use the power source I stole for light but the whole point of this trip was to steal the fucking thing and I’m not risking getting caught now. I try the flashlight on my phone and I’m surprised when it actually works. I guess I really shouldn’t be considering the fact that this city doesn’t use magic at all. But seeing as the city doesn’t use magic at all, I am surprised that there isn’t more panic at the sight of a wizard and a warlock fighting to the death in the middle of their city, probably over who spilled tea in one of their weird potions and poisoned both of them._

_One Looting Trip Later_

_Hell yeah motherfucker! My time machine works! Infinite pizza here we come. This trip was hella worth it. Or not, I think as I look around to see half the city completely leveled and the other half on fire. Good thing we were working on a time machine. “Hey, I managed to stop Cyanide but Lucifer’s on a rampage” said Natallia who was walking towards me dragging Cyanide along behind her. Wow that can’t be comfortable, looks like Natallia shoved one of her daggers into Cyanide's spine to stop her, I wonder if Natallia can tell that it wasn’t enough to kill her. I turn around to see Lucifer trying to summon something else, I quickly run up to him and knock him out. “Well that solves that problem, we should probably go back to the hotel and put together this time machine”_

_One Completed Time Machine Later_

_First things first, before we go get the pizza, I’m going back and preventing whoever spilled tea in the potion from doing that. Turns out it was the cleaning lady, went back 5 minutes further and killed her, now that fight won’t happen. Time to head back, get the others, get infinite pizza and fuck around._

_One Apocalypse Later…_

_“Hey, check out the news” said Natallia. “The power source in Southern Hell has been replaced and the security footage revealed four people entering the control center before the strange patterns started appearing on the buildings and the power went out. The camera revealed the people who did it, in order from most to least damage caused, Lucifer Skaia, Cyanide Nocturne, Noire Lunaris, and Natallia Kingsley. Due to the fact that one of the people responsible is one of the queens of Northern Hell, the ruler of Southern Hell has decided to simply ban the people responsible for destroying the capital city.” The news went on to say something about how much damage was caused but we stopped paying attention, going back to the best pizza ever._

_We had just finished another pizza when there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it, when I opened the door, this guy just walked into our living room. “Who the fuck are you?” asked Lucifer, who was beginning to recite the spell for the tentacle monster. “I represent the Magic Research Institute, it has come to our attention that you people have been using time travel a lot recently, and it is tearing a hole in time and space, we have come to confiscate this time machine before your group can start another apocalypse.” He said before grabbing what he thought was the time machine and disappearing._

~Flashback Ends~

 

I wonder if they still have what they thought was the time machine. The weird Rubik’s cube they took off our table wasn’t the time machine, it was only the locator, the actual time machine is currently hidden. I should go steal it back, it's been a while and I need to update the time machine anyways. I remember Cyanide and Lucifer saying the security to the building was crap anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	14. The Demon White Rabbit and The Apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story gets going.

Cyanide

Damn, that’s a hella nice hotel. Our room is hella big too, which is good cuz it's time for me and Noire to continue to sort through the stuff we stole. This time everything’s set to silent, no need to destroy all things glass in this room; that would be a lot of broken glass. Just as we got the last of the devices set to silent, we got an alert.

 

PM From: The Demon White Rabbit

So you all found the place, great.

We’ll be meeting in the café at 2 am, you should be done looking through your stolen electronics by then. Why do you even insist on keeping so many anyways?~♥

Anyways, the situation is getting worse by the minute and this is probably the last message I will be able to send to you.

Do not be late~♥

 

“Wow, that’s not ominous at all” I said sarcastically. “What situation? So far nothings been too bad” added Natallia. “I don’t know but usually when there’s any kind of ‘situation’ in a game, something noticeable happens” replied Noire. “Judging by how this universe has been so far, I feel like the worst situation that’s happened so far is us.” I added. So far that seems about accurate. Since we have time to kill, me and Noire go back to sorting through all our stolen stuff.

About an hour later, me and Noire had figured out which things we were gonna keep. Now, the problem of getting rid of everything else. In the old universe we would just throw everything we didn’t want in front of a school with a sign that said free stuff but I don’t think I’ve seen a single school in this universe. I look around for a place we could ditch everything and I notice the balcony… Really, how much damage could throwing everything off the balcony do anyways…?

Ok, apparently throwing a bunch of phones, laptops, speakers, and various other things off the balcony can do a lot of damage when thrown off the top floor. But still, people’s reactions to it are a bit much. I mean the car alarms going of is tolerable but then some asshole had to call the cops and the flashing lights and sirens are getting really fucking annoying. I turn to Lucifer who was watching TV with Natallia, and say “Yo asshole, news reporters, cops, and all that other bullshit’s starting to gather outside, could you kill all of them?”

“Fuck that shit, kill them yourself, can’t you do some necromancy shit and kill them all?” he replied.

“Yeah, because a bunch of undead appearing out of nowhere and killing everyone, then disappearing wouldn’t just attract more fucking attention.” I said sarcastically. I was about to go back out to the balcony and cause a repeat of the incident in Winter City but Natallia stopped me.

“It’s my city, I’ll deal with this.”

“I’m sure it won’t be hard to hit all those motherfuckers with lightning and set the rest on fire.” I said.

“That’s not what I had in mind and lightning and fire? I thought necromancy and dark magic were your thing.”

“They are but I needed to practice other things once in a while.”

“So you decided to practice everything?”

“Pretty much. It’s not just me, Lucifer is doing it too. Don’t be scared if you see a bunch of weird spells from us, we’re not dying, it's just weird magic shit. Anyways, if you’re not gonna zap them to death, then what are you gonna do?”

“Deal with this the way you’re supposed to in this town” she said as she pulled out a phone.

“Hi it's Natallia, there’s a group of idiots crowding outside the hotel we’re staying at, do something about it… that works… just hurry up, they’re annoying me.” Then she hung up.

“Now what?” asked Noire.

“Now we go out onto the balcony and wait” said Natallia.

We all went out onto the balcony and looked toward the swarm of reporters and cops and ‘witnesses’. Witnesses my ass, we’re on the top floor, witnesses couldn’t see shit.

Anyways, we were looking for at least 2 minutes when Lucifer asks “The fuck are we waiting for?”

“Just give it a minute.” answered Natallia.

Then about a few seconds later we saw a bunch of cars coming down the road, they got a bit closer and then the shooting started. We all turned to look at her and she was just smiling and watching. I’ll admit I was a little surprised. Natallia just ordered a fucking drive by, you would expect this kinda shit from me and Lucifer but Natallia and Noire usually avoid that kind of shit. I’m assuming it's because they can’t teleport out of a jail cells as easily as me and Lucifer but then again, it might just be because magic users are more fun. By the time the drive by ends, it's almost time to go to meet with The Demon White Rabbit so we head down to the café.

 

At The Café

“I just realized something” said Lucifer as we entered the café. “We don’t know what the Demon White Rabbit looks like? Or did you just remember that you need to unsummon the Giant Possessed Plant now?” I asked. Knowing Lucifer, it's probably both. “Oh shit, I actually need to unsummon it now. Totally forgot.” said Lucifer.

“But seriously, does anyone know what this Demon White Rabbit is supposed to look like?” I ask.

“I think I’ve heard that name before. There was a girl that had that exact name in one of my games. Now that I think about it, she was always talking about weird shit, I just assumed that it was another game. I guess it was weird that she was always asking about my friends but I didn’t think anything of it at the time.” said Noire.

“Wow, that’s totally not the kind of shit you should mention when shit like this starts happening.” I said sarcastically.

“Well we have our admin, you think they would look anything like their character?” asked Natallia.

“Why are you guys so sure it's the same person?” asked Noire.

“How the fuck could it not be? Some weird motherfucker in a game that always talked about some other universe, they even have the same fucking character name. Can we not be like some dumbfuck main characters in movies and books discovering a new world for the first time and assuming any and all weird shit is just a coincidence? Seriously, fuck that shit!” I said.

“Oh my gosh, you’re telling me that all that strangeness I’ve seen in books is real? That’s soooo scary!” said Natallia in her best idiot main character impression.

“If we were actually that stupid we'd all be dead by now. Actually we'd be so dead even I couldn't bring us back” I added, laughing.

"Holy shit, imagine being a demon and not knowing it cuz you don't believe in demons. When people pray around you ‘Why the fuck is it so annoying when people pray around me? Is it just because I'm not religious?’ then only realising you're a demon when the dudes from Supernatural find you" added Noire.

"Wait, I'm a wizard? You're telling me that people don't normally burst into flames when they're being annoying?” joked Lucifer.

“Warlock? Necromancy? I thought it was normal for people to come back from the dead to tell you your demon language pronunciation sucks when you read by their grave. Are you saying I have to go find another quiet place to read now?” I added.

We were all making more jokes when we heard a voice behind us.

“I'm glad you're having so much fun during my universes apocalypse”

We all turned around and looked at the girl who approached us. She had big rabbit ears, a really cool hat, and unlike most people in this town, she wasn't dressed like a stripper, which means she clearly wasn't from around here. She was saying something but I was more interested in where she's from, judging by the eye colour and the parts of her dress that weren't black, white, or grey, she was from the Diamond Kingdom. I was trying to figure out exactly what this girl was and whether her rabbit ears were as soft as they looked when she grabbed me by my scarf and pulled me down to her height. “Hey! Pay attention" she said before letting go.

“As I was saying, I'm the Demon White Rabbit, I'm one of the few remaining admins for this game. I'm actually one of the ones that brought you here. You're here because this universe in in the middle of an apocalypse. Since my admin name is quite long, you psychopaths can call me by my original name, Mallory Loss." she said. “Also, Noire what the fuck happened to you, you just stopped playing one day, where the fuck did you go?" she asked before jumping up and hugging him.

“I got the parts I needed to make a lightsaber, and then a week later we ended up here. Also holy shit you look just like your character! That’s fucking awesome!” said Noire.

“Dude, I just told you that you guys were brought here because this universe is in the middle of an apocalypse but the thing that matters to you is that I look like my character?” she said, slightly annoyed.

“Not much of an apocalypse. As far as I can tell, we're the worst thing that's happened to this universe so far. What’s even going on?” asked Noire. He brings up a good point.

“Before I begin, you should order food if you're hungry, this story could take a while. She said as she walked over to another room with some hella comfortable looking chairs. As we followed her, I noticed she had a weapon; it looked like a magician’s wand. Oh my fucking god, don't we have enough magic users in this group?

About 15 minutes later we all got our food and Mallory started explaining the situation. “Alright, sit your asses down and get comfortable, this is gonna be a long story. Ok, so this game universe had 2 creators. A while back one of the creators completely flipped their shit, killed their co-creator, and then essentially started fucking up the entire game. You’ve probably noticed how people have health bars but no mana bars or levels. That’s one of the many things they fucked up. Actually, stats, menus, levels, and all that shit were the first things to be destroyed. Of course nobody really payed much attention to it at first because there have been so many changes made to the game from the beginning that people thought it was just another update. We only really noticed something was wrong when we started to find high level players and other admins dead or missing. Unfortunately by the time we found out that something was wrong, there wasn’t many people left that could do anything about it. And by the time we found out who was doing this, there was only 6 admins and none of the high level players wanted anything to do with this. When we managed to escape and go into hiding there was only 4 of us left. Thankfully when we went into hiding the creator didn’t search for us. They just went back to killing off high level players. When we got the news of was going on out to the public, all the high level players also went into hiding. And then for a while things calmed down and by calmed down I mean they started focusing on fucking up other aspects of the game. While this was happening, me and the other admins got together and made a plan. You see, the high level players and admins in this universe were all born in this universe, being born in this universe means that you are forced to follow all the rules of this universe and the creators can do whatever they please with you, that includes killing you for good, which is why the necromancers couldn’t fix this. We weren’t 100% sure about this but we thought there was a good chance that the rules wouldn’t apply to people that came from other universes, that is the reason your group, along with 3 other groups were brought over. We were planning on gathering all 3 groups together but I think the creator caught on. Since they couldn’t find us, I guess they just decided to destroy the PM system so we wouldn’t be able to find each other. Since we managed to get you all here though, we just need to gather with the other groups and admins and figure out what we're gonna do next. Any questions?" finished Mallory.

"There are more powerful people in our universe, why did you bring us over?" asked Natallia.

"The 4 groups we have now are not the only groups we brought over. We originally forgot to take into consideration that other people feel fear. Your group was one of the groups that we thought wouldn’t freak out, run for their lives, and end up getting killed. In fact,your group has been known to just go around fucking things up for the hell of fucking things up and thats exactly what we need right now; someone to fuck the psycho creator up." answered Mallory.

"How exactly are we supposed to stop this psycho creator?" asked Noire.

"Fucking kill them. But first we have to go gather some artifacts to do so. Typical game shit." she answered.

"Any idea why they flipped their shit?" asked Lucifer

"Probably something to do with the fact that they were not the original creator of this game. Original creator left to do some shit, left those 2 in charge, one of them flipped their shit. So far nobody knows why."

"What artifacts are we talking here? Actually hard to get? Or like rob the Magic Research Institute building again? Because if it's the Magic Institute you should know that security's absolute crap." I said.

"Security's not actually crap, you just got really good at getting past it. And most of the artifacts aren’t in any official building, they're kinda scattered everywhere like in a normal game." she said before sipping her tea; waiting for any other questions.

"If you don’t have any other questions then I should tell you that we agreed to meet in Nightmare City and it will be a long trip so we have to leave tomorrow night. Now what rooms are you staying in?" she asked.

"Wait, you're staying with us?" I asked.

"I have to make sure you people don’t run away like some of the other groups. Also your wings look soft, I wanna feel them~♥ And after that, me and Noire there have a lot to discuss~♥" she answered before she got up and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	15. Not a Wizard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much happens now. The plot picks up a bit in the next chapters.

I'm not blushing… ok people usually aren't _that_ forward about wanting to grope my wings. Oh great, Lucifer looks like he has a dumb joke. "Like rabbits" he laughs. "Shut up plant fucker" I reply before going back to eating my ice cream.

After Food

We were all camped out in Natallia's room before lunch, it's nice to have the entire room to myself. Mainly because I can actually stretch out wings without hitting anyone or thing.

_CRASH_

That lamp was broken when I got here… Well I'm not the one paying for this room I think as I walk over to the balcony and totally don’t knock over a vase. Well so far I haven't broken anything important. What was I planning to do again? Oh right, check if magic works the same way. Can't have that suddenly stop working, pretty sure if magic were to suddenly stop working then bad things would happen… Ok all I need to do is focus... or is it unfocus? I know how to do it but what would it even be considered? Fuck it I think as I flop onto the bed.

 

Mallory

Fuck, I didn’t get an answer for which rooms they're hiding out in. I guess I could try to track those magic assholes.

10 Minutes Later

Or not. I really should have let Angela teach me magic. Too late now I guess. I remember that those assholes were on the top floor, I guess I'll just go ask the front desk. They might be NPCs but they are supposed to be somewhat sentient, which means they can be threatened.

10 More Minutes Later

I wonder who I should bug first. I feel some really creepy ass, ancient as fuck magic coming from Cyanide's room so I guess I'm seeing Noire first. I go to knock on his door and yell "Yo Jackass it's me! Open the door!"

"What's the password?" he asks.

"There's no password, open the fucking door!" I replied.

"Correct, come in rabbit bitch" he says, opening the door. The second he does I walk past him and lie down on his bed. "What the hell is wrong with your friends? I mean the vampire seems alright but what's up with the warlock and the wizard? I can't get a read on either of those two. They didn’t even seem to give a fuck that our world was fucking ending. And when I came up here to find you guys I felt some kind of evil ass magic coming from the warlock's room and with the sounds I heard, I don’t even want to think about what the wizard was doing. Was bringing them a mistake?" I asked.

"Dude bringing them wasn’t a mistake. You said that we need to gather a few artifacts right? If that’s the case, well they're not exactly good a finding artifacts exactly but trust me we'll have those artifacts at some point." he laughs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask.

"I swear this is just another weird magic user thing, those two just end up finding important shit at random."

"Also there's another reason I came to you. Remember when you gave me those instructions for that lightsaber?"

"Yeah"

"Well I dropped my lightsaber in the sink and now it doesn't work properly. I'm pretty sure it would work again if I could just dry the water but I can't open it without wrecking it. I would dry the water with magic but I suck at magic."

"Really? But you have a wand. And yeah that would probably fix it."

"Common mistake" I say as I pull out my wand, break it in half, and turn them on. Showing that it was two lightsabers, not a wand. Then they did what they’ve been doing since I dropped them in the sink, they flickered out.

"I just need to get rid of the water right? I think I can do that. You'd really be better off asking Lucifer or Cyanide for things that involve magic though." He said as took the lightsabers. A few seconds later I saw steam rising out of them and they flickered back on. Then he asked "Anything else you break? Laptop, phone, tablet, headphones? I can fix pretty much anything except for your doomed universe. This is a game universe right? I can't access the fucking program from my laptop"

"You won't be able to. One of the artifacts you need to grab is the Creators Laptop. You'll need that and hella programing skills to reverse the damage they did and to make them killable again. Also our universe isn’t fucking doomed!"

"They weren’t immortal to begin with? That seems kinda weird for a god type thing."

"The original creator was but I think they bailed on this universe right before one of their replacements royally flipped their shit, killed the other, and started the apocalypse. Honestly we're beginning to think the co-creator wasn’t the first victim, I mean the original creator was chill but even they wouldn’t let that piece of shit get away with this. We think they're still alive though."

"You _think_ they bailed, they _might_ still be alive? We're fucked!"

"Nobody knows for sure. We think they're gone but they might just be hiding. All we know for sure is that if they don’t want to be found then nobody's gonna fucking find them."

"Well fuck. You think if we get enough magic together we can just summon the old creator back?" he replied.

"No, that’s impossible, believe me we tried. A whole country was cursed because of our attempt, the place was so cursed we fucking sank the place so we would never have to deal with it again. We call the place Atlantis 2.0 " I said, hugging him.

"Seriously?" he asked while clearly trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, I'm serious. They weren’t very creative." I added jokingly.

"Mmm fuzzy" he replied while petting my ears. "I think the creepy magic stopped, you said you wanted to grope the wings right? Well it should be safe now. Well, not exactly safe but you probably won't get cursed just by standing too close." he said.

 

5 Minutes Later

Should I knock or should I just barge in? Don't wanna get cursed… guess I'll knock. The creepy magic stopped but I wonder- "Motherfucker how long are you gonna stand there?" she asked opening the door.

"Woah what the fuck? How did you? Wha-" I stuttered.

"You do realise you think out loud right?" she asked.

I didn’t say anything; I just looked around the room… Typical magic user shit, books floating around, weird crystals also floating around, overturned furniture, weird symbols on **everything** , and a general cursed feeling to the whole room. The whole fucking place looks like a pissed off, cursed as fuck hurricane blew through the place.

"And this isn’t even close to what a cursed hurricane could do. Also has nobody ever pointed out that you think out loud?" she asked before reaching for my ears and petting them.

"Bitch I didn’t say that out loud!" I yelled.

"Oh right… I _can_ read minds. I usually have that power turned off so I forget that sometimes. Also holy shit, you're one of the rare people whose voice sounds the same in their thoughts. And the ears are just as soft as I thought they would be~" she said as she continued petting my ears.

"But that’s actually one of the more useful powers people end up with. Why would you have it turned off all the time?" I asked.

"Ever heard of an indoor thinking voice? Same idea as an indoor thinking voice?"

I didn’t say anything. What the fuck is an indoor thinking voice?

"Exactly, nobody knows. So while most people talk at a normal volume, y'all fuckers think loudly as all fuck. And before you ask, yes I can focus on one person but only when completely sober. Lucifer's the same way. But we're almost always drunk or high. Apparently we're scary when we're sober." She answered, still petting my ears.  
"Murder an entire village one time" she added sarcastically, while still petting my ears. Well if she's gonna be petting my ears then I'm gonna touch the wings, I thought as I buried my hand in the feathers.

"Oh fuuuuck!" she moaned before I pulled her down for a kiss. Mmm candy canes~

Well this is gonna be a fun night~♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	16. Lucifer Goes Exploring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer goes exploring and they find someone

3 Hours Later

Holy hell. I didn’t know that you could do some of those things with magic♥

"Like rabbits!" Lucifer yells through the door before running away down the hall. I wonder if he's trying to run away… Fuck it, if he's running away then I'll find him tomorrow, I think as I go to sleep.

 

Lucifer

I was just leavin' to go get a snack when I noticed there was finally silence and some less evil feeling magic coming from Cyanide's room. Since the magic seemed friendlier than usual I decided to pass by and yell "Like rabbits!" before running down the hall into the elevator before one of them could come outside and stab me or set me on fire.

 

15 Minutes Later

This is the best cake ever. It doesn't matter if I'm high, this cake is fucking awesome and I'm getting more, maybe the ice cream cake too, and the fried chicken, and the pie. And maybe whatever the glowing thing is. Is that even food? One way to find out.

 

30 Minutes Later

Ok, the glowing thing was still alive but it was definitely food. What to do now… Maybe I'll lift the curse on I placed on the Magic Research Institute last time. Hehe raining frogs… They can't remove the curse because it's not the building that’s cursed, it's the artifacts inside the building. And some of the people. Maybe it's best if I don’t go back for a while.

 

At Starbucks

"Mmm pumpkin spice latte. Now where am I?" I wondered aloud, not really expecting an answer.

"One of the only parts of town that isn’t controlled by the vampire mafia. Where are you heading to?" asked this random dude. Hmm… he looks more interesting that everyone else I've seen so far. He has a halo… An angel? That black cloak and crown don’t seem angel like though. Either way he's pretty. This motherfucker would stand out in a crowd… I've seen enough anime to know where this is going. This guy is either gonna help us or I just met one of the main villains.

"Back to the hotel, I don’t remember the name but I remember it being right across from a huge ass library" I replied. Shit, is this guy on our side or the villain?

"You mean Prism? I'm heading there too. A friend of mine is late for a meeting, I need to check if they're still alive. I can show you where it is, just follow me." He said before walking over to the road and trying to flag down a cab. Really? He thinks that’s gonna work in this town? Just as I was about to offer to teleport us back to the hotel I heard gunshots. I turned around to see the guy putting a gun back in his cloak and pulling someone out of a car. "Yo get in, hurry!!" he yelled.

 

Back at Prism

"How exactly did you end up on the opposite side of town anyways?" he asked.

"I sensed pumpkin spice in the area, I followed it." I replied.

"You wouldn’t have happened to see my friend would you?" Oh shit. Who is this motherfucker? I ain't taking any chances I think as I materialize my staff and start to summon my plant dragon. It's shit like this that makes me wish Cyanide was here. Motherfucker summons some of the scariest shit I've ever seen. Like holy shit, just when I was sure hellhounds were the scariest thing you could summon casually. She summoned something called a Nightmare Wolf. I still shudder at the thought of that thing. If this guy's evil then one of those would be really useful now. Just as I finished that thought a laser flew past my head and nearly took this guy's head off. I turned around to see Mallory pointing a laser gun at us.

"Where the FUCK have you been!?" she yelled pointing at me before aiming her laser gun at the other guy and yelling "And why are you here?! You're supposed to be at the meeting place!"

"Bitch you're two days late! Where the fuck have you been?" he asked.

"Well at first I had to talk to the warlock and then the stoner wizard you just found disappeared for the whole day. So excuse me for being a little fucking late." She answered.

"Talk to? Is that the code word for fucking in this universe?"

"Shut up Lucifer! We're all ready to leave, just let me go wake up the warlock and get the others" she said before running towards the elevators.

 

2 Hours Later

"We've been driving for hours. Are we _almost_ there?" I asked.

"Why didn’t you just let me teleport all of us?" asked Cyanide.

"It's a long trip and last time I was teleported by someone I couldn’t eat anything for 3 days. So shut the fuck up and entertain yourselves or something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	17. The Voices Oh God The Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block is a bitch. They get to the town next chapter and meet the other groups. Might rewrite this entire chapter when the writers block goes away.

Cyanide

Holy shit this is a boring trip. They won't even let me set things on fire when we pass them. Fuck this, I guess I'll take a nap.

 

Oh great, this dream…

.

**_Candice_ **

Maybe if I ignore it

.

.

**_Candice_ **

**_We both know you can hear me_ **

Fuck

**_Candice, do you really want to go through with this 'adventure'?_ **

**_We both know how this is going to go_ **

Oh fuck. I hate this kind of dream, it's so fucking cheesy. I'm in some kind of dark ass void and a disembodied voice of some fucking psychic or some shit won't leave me alone. Hmm, the voice sounds different, maybe this isn’t the psychic, maybe this is just all that repressed crazy from being alive for so long.

**_There is a reason you're not supposed to play around with time magic, this is it_ **

Would you fuck off? Great, I'm talking to the voices in my head.

**_You know what's going to happen_ **

**_The demon may not be psychic anymore but you still are_ **

Yes I know we're all going to 'die for good' and were gonna wreck this whole universe before we do so. I'm sure Lucifer knows it too since he helped me fuck around with time and you're no doubt annoying him too. Now can you fuck off? Actually, fuck this I'm waking up, you can't be a pain in the ass when I'm awake.

**_You cannot hear me while you are conscious but I am closer to you here_ **

**_I can keep you unconscious if I need to, not forever but long enough_ **

Ok then, can I at least get the name of my serial creeper?

**_You know who I am, you should be able to remember me_ **

Motherfucker do you think I would be asking if I could remember? Also at times I can see some of us still alive and fucking around in Hell, I can't put an exact time to it but it's definitely past the day we 'die for good'. What's with that? Also do we actually pull off saving a whole universe before we die or what?

**_I do not have an answer for you, this universe is strange and your deaths are as far and as much as I can see here_ **

Real helpful, asshole. So now I have 2 voices that come to annoy the fuck out of me in my dreams. Fucking wonderful.

**_There is only one_ **

Motherfucker you two don’t sound the same

**_I believe now would be a good time for you to wake up_ **

.

.

.

"I feel like raising the dead and wrecking an entire town" I say, still half asleep.

"The psychic pain in the ass again?" asks Lucifer.

"Not exactly, they sounded different, I think they sent an equally annoying friend" I answer.

"Anything new?" he asks.

"Other than the new voice, no. You know about as much as I do. Has your creeper told you who they are yet or are they all 'you know who I am' too?" I say in a bored tone.

"Gave me a hint. Apparently they aren’t the ghosts of anyone we've killed" he said in a shitty impression of the voice.

"Like they aren’t _dead_ or they aren’t people that _we_ killed?" I ask

"Dunno, all I know is that they're stronger now" he answers.

"Should we tell them?" asked Lucifer, gesturing towards Natallia and Noire in the front of out stolen trailer.

"About how this is going to end or about the other thing?" I asked.

"Both" he answered

"Well they already know that we're all gonna die and that I'm not sure if it's permanent. As for the other thing…I say we'll be fine as long as we don’t run into a town that blocks magic entirely like the ones in Southern Hell." I reply.

"You realise that if any one of us so much steps foot into one of those kinds of towns… Well you know what would happen…" He points out.

"Yeah I know also did you forget? Without magic we both kinda suck at life"

We both shudder at the thought of what would happen if we couldn’t use magic.

"Yo, who the fuck is that guy anyways?" I ask.

"Dunno but he's hot. Maybe we should ask." he answers.

"Also could you teach me how to summon a Nightmare Wolf?" he adds.

"The same way you summon anything else, location, time, and then focus on the creatures magic signature" I answer.

"I have never seen a fucking thing like it and I lived in Hell for a long ass time." he says.

"Dude they aren’t from Hell. They're from where I lived" I explained.

"Motherfucker you lived in Northern Hell!" he yelled.

"Not Hell, England you absolute dumbfuck!" I yelled back.

"How the **fuck** would something like **that** be from England?!" he yells.

"It wasn’t always such a relatively safe, human filled place. That place used to be fucked up. The only humans that lived there were hunters. Animal hunters, not those racist serial killers. You didn’t try to pet it but Nightmare Wolves and other things that lived in the area have very soft fur. Also they still live in the area, there's just warding to protect the people that were crazy enough to move there. Just focus on the forests that are just outside the towns, they crowd there." I explain.

"They don’t seem like a thing that should exist in the human world. They seem like something that should come from Hell." he points out.

"Not Hell, they're from the World of Nightmares, a portal opened up there and the things have lived there ever since." I explain.

"Alright then, if that guy turns out to be evil at some point then we can scare the living hell out of him" he says.

"Anyways, we should really figure out who he is" I say as I get up and walk over to him. Lucifer follows me.

"Yo who the fuck are you anyways?!" Lucifer yells at the new guy.

"Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. Hmm… Who am I again? Right. I'm one of the 4 surviving admins, The Angel King of Diamonds, you guys can call me Mika. Aaaand I'm here because y'all fuckers are late, you should have been in Nightmare City 2 days ago. I came to make sure you weren’t all dead♥" answers Mika.

"Don’t you have your own group to deal with? Are they waiting at Nightmare City or did they all die like your last group?" joked Mallory.

"They're all alive, I'm the best fighter we have, and you were the one that let them out of the basement in the first place. And we're meeting in one of the hotels and then we're going to one of the hidden wizard restaurants. It's the kind from your universe so we're not sure about what kind of security system you have."

Lucifer and I both laugh at that. "Dude there is no security, or at least not the type of security you're thinking of." Says Lucifer.

"The how do you keep from being discovered by humans?" asked Mika.

"Stairs and elevators behind illusions and everyone has agreed to take a running start going through the illusions. That way clueless humans take a running start and fall down the stairs or the elevator shaft. So far it works."

"You can't be serious. That is the single shittiest security system I have ever heard of. Holy shit. I'm surprised that there hasn’t been a full out war on the magic world by the humans yet."

"Normal, magicless, humans are die very easily where we're from and a lot don’t believe in magic anyways so when someone does survive the trip down the stairs of death, people just sum it up to a head injury from falling down said stairs or a case of crazy." I explain.

"Any other questions about our universe?" Lucifer asks.

"It sounds like you know a lot about humans. Are humans common where you're from?"

"When you brought us here, yes. But I feel like they were about to go extinct." I answered.

"How can you tell?" asked Lucifer.

"Oh right, you can't see him. Phantom, or as you probably know him, Death. Haven't seen him around here but back in the old universe he or his clones at least, were hanging around a lot, even when we weren’t killing people. I don’t know why most people can't see him." I answered.

"Probably a side effect of one of the curses that someone put on me at some point. Not sure which one though." I add.

"Why don’t you remove the curses?" asked Mallory.

"Some are not worth the effort of removing, it's easier to just counter them with enchantments like the ones in in my jewelry, glasses, and just the magic swirling around me when I'm alive. Lucifer too. Seriously, do you think Lucifer's hat needs to be that fancy?"

"You enchanted your glasses?" asked Mika.

"Yeah, I have perfect vision but if I tried to enchant any of the jewels on this necklace anymore they would shatter. And I'm not about to become one of those people that wears too much jewelry and looks like an idiot."

"So if someone were to take away your magic you would die?" asked Mika.

"Would probably get murdered eventually but not by the person who took away my magic, they would probably be hit by lightning immediately and then get crushed by a falling chandelier or something like that. I removed all the curses that would affect me directly, without magic I'm just a danger to everyone around me. The curse I'm thinking about isn't exactly subtle or slow." I answered.

"Yeah, she's hella cursed. She was literally trying to con someone out of their house when they just burst into flames. It was hilarious, the look of pure 'what the fuck' on her face." Lucifer added.

"I'm sure the curses are all magical though so if I was in a place where magic didn’t work at all then it would probably be safe." I continued.

"There are curses that aren’t magical in nature?" asked Mallory.

"Yeah. Some are deals made with powerful magical entities. Like how true immortality isn't a fucking spell, it's a deal made with Death." Answered Lucifer.

"Hey where did Natallia and Noire go?" I asked

"Probably to go 'talk to' each other like you and the rabbit admin were doing before we left." Lucifer replied.

"Jealous?" I ask.

"Hey lets change the subject before you end up making out and then wrecking the bus" said Mallory. I was about to leave and go raid the fridge when I heard them.

**_This entire universe is strange, we will all be meeting elsewhere soon enough_ **

I turn to look at Lucifer. Looks like he heard it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	18. Nightmare City Is A Nightmare Because You Have To Walk

Chapter 18

Is that all you have to say, you pain in the ass hallucination? Hellooooo? Well fuck them. I wonder if I can go back in time and prevent us from fucking with time to begin with… I guess I'll do that after this clusterfuck is over.

"Yo I think the voices are becoming aware, what did yours say?" I asked Lucifer.

"Wait a second. The VOICES? Are you on drugs?!" yelled Mika.

"Fuck yeah we're high but that has nothing to do with the voices" answers Lucifer.

"The voices are a result of fucking around with time before we came here, nothing to do with the weird plants, special mana potions, or the empty bottles of champagne in the back." I laugh.

"When did you get champagne? You haven’t left the hotel and there haven’t been any reports on the news about Lucifer robbing a liquor store." Said Mallory.

"We robbed three back in Winter City, now as wonderfully fucking interesting this conversation is, I think I'll go and see what the actual fuck is up with the voices, wake me when we're in Nightmare City." I say before I walk back to the pile of pillows and blankets I was sleeping in. Yeah there's beds but the pillows are nicer.

 

Noire

"Oh thank god I'm not the only one that noticed." I said.

"Yeah, they're definitely hiding shit from us, more shit than usual anyways." replied Natallia.

"Figuring out what is gonna be a pain in the ass since I can't seem to see the future lately" I said while wondering why.

"Do you think that they're even hiding something important? I mean there have been a few things that they’ve hidden just because they did something that was just plain stupid. Are we even sure the thing that they're hiding matters?" She asked.

"You mean like that time Lucifer ate a bunch of pages from one of Cyanide's glowing spell books to see what would happen and hid the book afterwards?" I asked.

"I was thinking more like that time Cyanide removed all the enchantments that protect others from the _many_ curses that were put on her and walked through a gangs headquarters just to see what would happen."

"She did that? What happened? How'd you guys find out if she never told you?" I ask.

"A little while after she tried to enchant her necklace further and one of the diamonds on it shattered, she was talking to some gang people that were invading our territory and a chandelier fell and crushed all of them, naturally she thought that was hilarious and wanted to see what would happen if she ditched the necklace and enchantments all together. What happened was the second she walked, in the power for the entire building stopped, the ceiling caved in on anyone that came near her, the building caught fire, and then a localised earthquake hit the place and she had to run out of there before the whole building came down. We only found out because it made the news, apparently there were no survivors." She explained.

"Wow, what's some other shit they hid from us?" I asked. I hope there's nothing too important.

"You mean like the time Lucifer got mauled by a bear because he wanted to know what they tasted like but didn’t know he had to kill it first? Or that time Cyanide made it rain frogs on the Magic Council building for a week to see if she could bury the place entirely?" she asked.

Wow, I never realised they did so much shit that _didn’t_ end up in the news.

 

Cyanide

Alright, back to sleep…

.

.

.

Ooh looks like I'm home this time. Place is empty though. Well that’s a good thing I guess, I feel slightly less insane screaming into an empty castle.

YO PAIN IN THE ASS HALLUCINATION!

YOU HAD SOMETHING TO SAY

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU WANT?

…

…

ANSWER ME MOTHERFUCKER

Fuck this, the voices aren’t here. Well if this is my dream then there should be a Mint-Oreo blizzard in the freezer and sushi on the counter.

**_We are not a hallucination_ **

That’s exactly what a hallucination would say, also could you fucking give yourself a physical form? Hearing a voice while floating in a void is annoying enough but this is a brightly lit castle.

**_Does this work? You will see who I really am soon enough_ **

Really? A dog? And what do you mean soon enough? Like we'll see you when we get to Nightmare City?

**_Hell, we will meet in Hell_ **

What? How? Does this universe have its own hell or do all places share one?

**_You will find out soon enough_ **

Why did we hear you while we were awake? The fuck is going on?

**_I cannot tell you here_ **

**_You will know when we meet_ **

Could you at least tell me whose side you're on?

**_We are helping you for now_ **

**_I hope it can stay that way_ **

**_Now search your castle_ **

**_There are two things here you will find very useful for your adventure_ **

And with that, the talking dog disappears.

Fuck, what things were they talking about? I have so many things that could be considered important here. How am I supposed to tell which two things I'll need? Are they supposed to glow like in a game? I don’t even know which room to start searching in.

About 2 Hours Later

Is this how the idiot protagonist feel in my books? No, not even. The idiot protagonists haven’t lived long enough to collect this fucking many artifacts, this shits like a hidden object game on fucking impossible mode. Oh god why do I have so many mystical artifacts? I could open a fucking museum with all this shit.

1 Hour Later

Wow, I forgot I had this. That was such a long ass time ago. With everything that’s happened I guess this _would_ be one of the things. I wonder if this place even transferred from the old universe properly. Now what would the other thing be?

2 Hours Later

Alright, time to check the basement.

2 Hours Later

Finally, this would make a lot of sense if this thing works here. I hope this thing doesn't crash the entire universe.

**_I SEE YOU HAVE FOUND THEM_ **

Holy shit! Turn down the volume!

**_You have found the artifacts you need_ **

**_Now you must go collect them in the waking world_ **

**_They will be helpful_ **

Helpful with what?

 ** _After you get to Nightmare City and meet with the others you will need to-_** YO WAKE UP WE'RE HERE!!

.

.

.

"What the fuck? Hella bad timing! Also where?" I ask.

"We're finally in Nightmare City" answers Lucifer before he runs out the door.

I also get off the stolen tour bus. I look around and am confused at what I see. All I can see is trees and a narrow path leading into a forest. This doesn't feel like an illusion. Oh god, please don’t tell me…

"We're gonna have to walk the rest of the way. The road is way too small for the bus to get through" announces Mika.

10 Minutes Later

"We're lost aren’t we?" Natallia asks.

"We're not lost, we just need to keep following this path until we reach the city" answers Mallory.

"We've been walking for an hour" says Noire.

"Was that rustling in the trees?" asks Lucifer.

"No it's just-" started Mallory who was cut off by a large figure flying out of the trees directly at us. I jump out of the way and as the thing flies past me I notice that it's almost completely invisible. Before I can hit it with anything, it's back in the air. I quickly snap a picture and look it up on my phone.

??????

Level:???

HP:???/???

No information available.

What the fuck? Why's there no information on this thing? Why doesn't it have a fucking health bar? I wonder before the thing flies back into the forest. I don’t hear anything for a minute, so we keep walking.

Then we hear it. The sound of the thing crashing through trees and coming directly at us. I wonder, how am I gonna kill it if I can barely see it while using magic? I dodge it a second time and that’s when Noire and Mallory start firing at it.

Then I come up with an idea. As it flies past me a third time I set the entire thing on fire. _Not so invisible anymore_ I think as Natallia sinks a dagger into its wing.

I'm surprised that the things still flying. It was flying at us again, I was about to see if  I could shoot it down with dark magic, when Mika grabs the thing out of the air, throws it into the ground, jumps on it, and shoots it in the head. We wait a few seconds and it despawns. Ok, I'm impressed.

"Ok let's go before more of those things attack us and kill anyone in _this_ group. Those things live in packs" says Mallory.

10 Minutes Later

Well I guess the hotels not horrible.

"Yo, where are the other groups?" I ask.

"Probably already at the restaurant, follow me" Mika said leading the way.

Greeaaat more fucking walking.

10 More Minutes And A Taxi Later

"Now which bookshelf was it behind again?" wondered Mallory.

"I think it was this one" Mika says before walking into an actual shelf. "Never mind"

As they start arguing about which shelf was fake I face palm and walk through the actual fake bookshelf without saying anything. The others don’t seem to notice but Lucifer joins me a minute later.

5 Minutes Of Arguing And Walking Into Shelves Later

"Yo dumbasses! It's this one!" I yell.

"Don’t fall down the elevator shaft!" Lucifer yells before the elevator doors close.

1 Nightmarish Elevator Ride Later

Alright apparently all the groups are here. Turns out that this is why Aria and Violetta ran off. Wow, this is a lot of people, how the hell am I supposed to remember this many names?

"You don’t have to, Violetta made a list. The names on the list are linked to the people, as you can see, not everyone made it" someone said, I think her name was Angela.

I take a look at the list.

**Group 1**

Mallory Loss • Admin • The Demon White Rabbit

Cyanide Nocturne

Lucifer Skaia

Natallia Kingsley

Noire Lunaris

**Group 2**

Angela Fyre • Admin • The Witch of Light

Caramel Scarlet

Lykos Cross

Ace • DEAD

Ellinia Crypt • DEAD

Skye Lucida • DEAD

**Group 3**

Mika Diamond • Admin • The Angel King of Diamonds

August Wolfe

Asher Saint

Castor Faye

Luna Chance

**Group 4**

Katalina Winter • Admin • The Reckless Dreamer • DEAD

Aria Fleur

Derrek Ice

Violetta Ice

Fumei

 

"Don’t read my mind, you'll hear something you don’t wanna hear" I said.

"I'm not reading your mind, you said that out loud" she says, like an asshole.

"Motherfucker you're reading my mind like a creeper, unlike most people, I can actually tell"

She looked up from her tablet at that. "Listen asshole, I don’t know what y-" she stopped and just stared at me, that’s never a good sign. "Oh my god…"

That’s never a good thing. I've done a lot of shit to a lot of people, I wonder which thing she's gonna start yelling about. I put on my headphones in preparation for the screaming that most idiots do.

"Those eyes… that god damned eye colour…"

Oh right, even among the magic races my eye colour isn't exactly common. Hehe neon green, I wonder how the hell that eye colour even happened to my family anyways.

"You're the one who burned down the magic school…"

"Hello, I'm kind of a monster, burned down a lot of things. Which school you talking about?" I ask.

"You fucking psychopath! I'll kill you!" she screamed and threw holy fire at me.

Why do people always freak out over things like that? People fucking die all the time. Especially when they annoy me, I think as I pull my staff out of my inventory. Finally, I've been wanting to kick somebody's ass since I woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	19. So Many Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well thats one way to do it.

I was about to set the motherfucker on fire when some guy ran between us and yelled "Oh my god, no more fighting! We're supposed to be stopping the psycho creator of this universe from destroying the place!" How boring. According to the list, his name is Asher and judging by the look on his face, he's one of those motherfuckers who stalks me through the news and thinks he 'knows' me. Oh this is gonna be fun, I wonder if I have any popcorn in my inventory.

"I went to school with that psychopath, and she burned the school down!" she screamed.

"Don’t you think it could have been an accident?" he asked.

"Twice… She set the school on fire **twice**!"

At that point I say "Yo, if I could just clear up some of that bullshit that you think is fact”

To which they both turn to me and yell no.

"Really now? Well I have a spell for muting people so too bad" So I muted them and continued.

"Ok, you both seem to think I set the school on fire on purpose both times, well you're both idiots. Also if you think burning the school down was bad then you _really_ don’t want to know about how I poisoned about 3 quarters of the council that controlled that school. But to be fair, forbidden or not, they shouldn’t have taken that book away from me, it was important"

Alright, Angela looks like she doesn't believe me, Asher looks like he 'knows', and they both probably have questions. I feel like it would be a mistake to _unmute_ them but if I don’t they’ll probably find other ways to annoy me. Gods, how the fuck do I even start explaining why I burned down the school twice? I mean it was _before_ I was a complete sociopathic asshole. Well I guess I didn’t necessarily feel _bad_ about it, most of the people there were pretty horrible anyways…

"Alright assholes, sit the fuck down and I'll tell you exactly what happened" I said.

 

* * *

 

Natallia

Wow, that’s a lot of dead people, and they all died before we could even meet up. What the hell happened? I guess I should ask but who would I even ask? The other surviving admin, Angela?, would make the most sense but it looks like her and Cyanide are about to kill each other and I'm not stupid enough to try stopping them.

"You're probably wondering how this many people ended up dead, aren’t you?" someone asked. According to the list his name is Lykos. That’s an interesting name.

"Yeah, what happened?" I asked.

"My group was attacked by one of those _things_ on our way out of town. You probably ran into them in the forest surrounding the town. I'm not sure what happened with the other group" he said.

"Is that what the thing that attacked us was? It was nearly invisible and didn’t have a name or health bar."

"Was it fast, flying, and trying to tackle you?"

"Yes"

"Well there's your answer. We got lucky, those things are usually seen in groups, and even one of those things is bad news. How did all of you survive?"

"Everyone in our group plays MMOs so everyone reacted with violence pretty much instantly, we didn’t know who or what it was but we figured we'd beat it within an inch of its life, _then_ ask questions."

"Oh, so you're _that_ group. That makes sense"

"What do you mean that group?" I asked.

 

* * *

 

Noire

Shit, this clearly ain't gonna be easy. Seriously, 4 people are dead already and we haven't even started looking for the artefacts yet. I wonder if the list updates itself. I guess I could ask, now which one of these people made the list.

**Group 1**

Mallory Loss • Admin • The Demon White Rabbit

Cyanide Nocturne

Lucifer Skaia

Natallia Kingsley

Noire Lunaris

**Group 2**

Angela Fyre • Admin • The Witch of Light

Caramel Scarlet

Lykos Cross

Ace • DEAD

Ellinia Crypt • DEAD

Skye Lucida • DEAD

**Group 3**

Mika Diamond • Admin • The Angel King of Diamonds

August Wolfe

Asher Saint

Castor Faye

Luna Chance

**Group 4**

Katalina Winter • Admin • The Reckless Dreamer • DEAD

Aria Fleur

Derrek Ice

Violetta Ice

Fumei

 

**List created by: Violetta**

 

Wow, I can't believe I didn’t notice that. Hmm, Violetta… where is she? I wander around a bit but can't find anyone with the player name Violetta. Then I remember that this place is a library upstairs.

10 Horrifying Minutes In The Elevator Later

Holy shit that’s one old ass elevator, swear to god it's gonna snap and fall at some point today. Well time to start looking…

10 More Minutes Later

-Violetta Ice-  Lvl: ???

That’s probably her. She's on her laptop, by the looks of the thing beside her she's probably programming something. I walk up to take a closer look and find out that it's a map.

"Hey, you wrote the list right?" I ask.

She looks up from the screen and asks "You're Noire right? The inventor/programmer from Group 1?"

"Yeah, what's up with the map?" I ask.

"The map? It's a part of the list, I wanted everyone to have a way to keep track of who went where and who's still alive in real time, but it's taking a long ass time." After a pause she asks. "You don’t want to know how 4 people died already?"

"You know how?" I ask

"Yeah, basically what happened was, you know those flying shadow figures outside the town? There have been rumours that the creator put together a group of people to kill off all those that are trying to stop him and one of those people created those things. So far we think the point of those creatures is to track us and kill those of us that they find. I'm pretty sure that’s what happened to the other group." she explains.

"What happened to your group? I mean aren’t the admins supposed to be really powerful? How did she get killed?" I ask.

"That because we were attacked by the guy who was controlling those things, Katalina told us to run so she could fight him without us getting in the way, we made it halfway to town then we heard her scream. Mika went to check later, but her and the guy were both gone. Since there was blood everywhere we assumed that they were both dead. But I'm not sure if she's really dead, which is why I'm trying to program the list so it can track people" she explains.

"Makes sense, how much longer is the list supposed to take? I ask.

"A day? Maybe two? Actually I'm glad you're here, you can actually help with this. With the two of us this might only take the rest of the day."

Something about that doesn't sound quite right so I ask "Don’t you need the creators laptop to get into the code you need to track other players?"

"Technically yes, what I'm making isn't perfect, but when Mika went back to where Katalina fought the guy, well the place was wrecked, but he found both their phones, I'm currently using that guys phone to get the map to work" she explained.

Well I guess helping with this would be better than being bored for the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer

Not much of a menu here… Well whatever, it's how the food tastes that matters I guess.

20 Minutes Later

Small menu so I ordered one of everything, so far the foods good. The plant life is lacking a bit though and I can't sense any pumpkin spice anywhere, so I guess I'd give this place a 5/10.

10 Minutes Later

"You really gonna eat all that?" some girl asked. According to the list her name is Fumei.

"Fuck yeah" I answered and kept eating.

"Even the spell book in the corner of the table?" she joked.

"I'm pretty sure it's just one of Cyanide's books so it's fine. They taste like candy cane for some reason, did you want a bite?" I asked, making the book float over.

"Is it safe to eat?" she asked.

I laugh at that and answer "Usually"

"But it's a book, a spell book at that. How did you even find out that you can eat them, and how would she make her books taste like candy cane?" she asks.

"Well I found out when I got high and decided to eat one of her books because the fridge was too far away as for how, I'm just gonna assume it's the same way she makes her staff weigh nothing, just weird magic stuff. Oh and before you ask, no it's not specific to her, you could grab her staff and run off with it if you wanted to, I have" I answered.

1 Hour Later

Mmm… candy canes. I wonder if the town has any candy stores. I turn to Fumei who was still eating pages from Cyanide's spell books, and asked her. She said she had no idea so we were about to leave to go check when we see this guy walk in and those _things_  just calmly following him. They look a little different from the things that attacked us though, these ones have legs, they look like people almost.

We just stand there and watch for a bit, so far the guy hasn’t noticed us, he's just heading toward, oh shit, he's heading towards the elevator. I turn to Fumei to see her looking relieved. I was about to ask when she whispers "This guy's different from the guy that attacked our group, that means Katalina killed the one who attacked us". But that still leaves the guy that's probably here to kill everyone and Fumei doesn't look like she has a plan, neither do I, shit. But just as the guy gets into the elevator, the _things_ disappear, and I get an idea. I can't teleport down there and warn them, it's a security measure in our world, nobody can teleport directly into the hidden places, but then I remember how Cyanide got rid of those guys that wanted to steal one of the forbidden books from her library and…

Well it's a long way down… With that thought, I teleport over to the elevator, and just as it's going down, I grab the cable and melt it. Then the elevator starts falling. If that guy was anything like a boss, it won't kill him but it should warn the others.

.

.

.

Wow, one hell of a fall.

.

.

.

.

_CRAASH_

There we go. That’s a pretty good warning. Im not sure if the others will know but I'm sure Cyanide and Natallia will know. Knowing that, I start searching around for the other way into the restaurant, the backup exits usually better hidden than the main one so it could take a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	20. Forbidden Spells Are Helpful

Natallia

I don’t know what Cyanide said to them but Asher looks like Halloween came early and Angela tried to cut her head off with what looked like holy magic. Then Cyanide went and raised the dead, which tried to drag Angela into Hell or something like that, then Mika actually managed to break it up. Angela disappeared into the back room and Cyanide's sitting up in the rafters reading and being all grumpy. I would ask her what she told them but I feel like it has nothing to do with me.

I really hope saving the universe doesn't mean we have to stay together. From what I know about Cyanide and what I can tell about Angela, those two aren’t going to get along.

_CRAASH_

What the hell was that?! I turn towards the direction of the crash and see a cloud of debris where the elevator was. Did it just fall?! Okay, that’s not a thing that happens, **ever**. Just as I finished that thought, I saw the dead rise up and start dragging the destroyed elevator into the void. I turn to Cyanide about to ask her what she's doing but then I notice that she's not laughing or making a joke, she's just smiling. That's pretty scary on its own but before I can say anything, she's gone and an arrow is in the post that was behind her. I turn back to where to the elevator was to see a man walking right through the crowd of undead. And then he speaks "Nice try, warlock, but magic doesn't work on me. I am Aquarius, I have been sent by our creator Chronos to capture all of you. I am allowed to use force if I need to, he doesn't need all of you ali-" "Kindly shut the fuck up" He was cut off by Cyanide appearing behind him and shoving a lightsaber through his head.

"What the hell! Why did you do that?!" I heard the girl to my right yell. I think her name is Luna. She looked horrified. Cyanide if you're reading my mind right now, please for the love of god, don’t start anything.

"Whaaat? He was kind enough to tell me that magic wouldn’t work, plus I'm _pretty_ sure he was trying to kill me" she says. Oh hell.

"So you just go and shove a lightsaber through his head?!" she yells.

"If I may interrupt" says Aquarius as he gets back up, the lightsaber that was in his head was now on the ground. "You seem to want to do this the hard way" He says before he then turns around, grabs Cyanide, stabs an arrow into her chest and throws her to the side of the room. For a second I'm actually worried about her, but then I remember, at some point she mentioned that Death wouldn’t let her off _that_ easily. She's fine, probably just stunned. Right? Shit, how do the laws of death work here? Nah, she's fine.

I should be more worried about how many of those _things_ he summoned after. Just then I hear someone behind me scream, I turn to see a guy try to form a fireball only for it to fizzle out, and one of those _things_ nearly rip off the guy's head before Mika shoots it through the head. Ok, what the hell? Aren’t the people that were brought over supposed to know how to do stuff? Or at least have a general idea about how to do stuff? But then everything seems to stop for a second as I feel the most terrifying magical presence I've felt in a _long_ time behind me. I turn back around to see all the colour drain from Aquarius's face as Cyanide appears in front of him. Then he starts screaming, at first I didn’t know why but then I noticed his shadow, which appeared to be engulfed in flames. He tries to run away but Cyanide appears in front of him again and shoves something that looks like a knife into his spine. He instantly collapses and starts screaming. He was screaming for a while before Cyanide muted him.

Then I heard Cyanide say "Aww, did you think I would die that easily? That’s fucking hilarious" she laughed before saying "Your leader must have really wanted to get rid of you~" Oh god, that guy fucked up, now he's gonna die slowly and painfully. "Now, you're gonna answer a few questions for us, or I'm gonna see what how long I can leave that shadow knife in you before bad things happen, and you _reeeally_ don’t wanna know what bad things can happen if I leave that there~♥" After that, Mika comes over and punches him out. Cyanide turns to him and asks "Anything we actually need to know or can I sacrifice him to summon my familiar?" At that point I turn around to see Luna had fainted at some point and everyone else in the room was silent for a few seconds.

Then the panicking started.

 

* * *

 

 

Lucifer

Holy shit, why the fuck there gotta be so many stairs? Holy hell.

5 Minutes Later

So… many… stairs…

5 More Minutes Later

Oh thank god. I hear screaming up ahead, which means no more stairs. Finally. I walk through the door just in time to see Cyanide turn a shadow into a solid knife and stab it into the guy's spine. That can't be fun.

"Anything we actually need to know or can I sacrifice him to summon my familiar?" she asks.

1 Hour And A List Of Questions Later

“Hell yeah! It's interrogation time!” I said. I'm hella excited, it's been a while since we got to torture the answers out of someone, for some reason Noire and Natallia decided to be boring and stay with the other people to explain some shit about where we're from or something like that. But I just had one question. “Yo, why'd you put the knife in his spine and not his head? It's not like you to take prisoners.”

“Dude, I put a fucking lightsaber through his head and he still got back up and tried to kill me. At least this way he can't get back up” she answered.

“Who is he anyways?” I ask.

“Some dumbfuck called Aquarius that the creator sent to capture us or some shit. But first we need to do something” she said.

"What?" I asked.

"While I know you like cutting people up, it'll take way too long to get answers without magic. We need to see what's preventing magic from working on him" she explained.

"You mean something like a spell?" I ask.

"Yeah, clearly he's a wizard, it totally explains why he has a fucking bow and arrows. It all makes sense now" she says sarcastically.

I was about to say something but then the other admin walked in. Think her name's' Angela. "I'm here to make sure you don’t do anything illegal" she says, pointing at Cyanide. Then she points at me and says "And you don't do anything perverted" Wow, what an asshole.

"I heard that!" she says. Great, one of those assholes that reads mind. Well if that’s the case, I immediately start thinking about some of the weird porn I watched earlier at the hotel.

"Oh god, what the fuck?!" she yells. Well that fixes that.

"Alright, so you're pretty much here to watch us torture answers out of someone? Kinky" Cyanide says.

I start laughing at that and add "If you wanted to help us you could have just said so, didn’t think you'd be into that kind thing though"

"I'm not!" she yells.

10 Minutes Later

This is hilarious. How the hell did this girl end up so high strung? I mean Cyanide set the school on fire twice and went to Hell but she's still calmer than Angela.

"What's goin' on?" asked Aquarius. Oh, he's awake. It's interrogating time.

"Oh good, you woke up. I thought Cyanide might have killed you. We have some questions for you" said Angela.

Cyanide just walks up to him, takes his hat off, and snaps her fingers in front of his face. He flinches but other that, nothing else happens.

"Was that supposed to do something, oh magical genius? You do realise magic isn't gonna work on him, right? I don’t know what you did to him before you stabbed him but it was a fluke." taunts Angela.

Surprisingly, Cyanide actually ignores her instead of setting her on fire and takes the guys scarf off and does the same thing as before. And I suddenly know what she's trying to do. Angela clearly doesn't because she says "What are you trying to do?! I mean I guess he's not ugly but now is not the time to start taking his clothes off!"

"Alright you absolute dumbfuck, if you must know, I'm trying to find the thing that prevents magic from working on him. When I get it, I'll know because I'm currently trying to set him on fire" she explains. She turns to me and adds "You can start interrogating him the old fashioned way"

With that take the ritual knife out of my inventory. Unfortunately I didn’t make a habit of breaking into the forbidden spells library in the Magic Research Institute before the building was burned down, so that means I don’t know how to turn shadows into a solid knife like Cyanide can. I take a look at the list of questions and pick one at random. "Where are the artifacts hidden?"

"I'll never tell!" he answers. Oh this is gonna be fun.

2 Hours Later

Shit, this is taking a _long_ ass time. On the plus side, I've painted a very pretty picture on the wall with his blood, it's a rainbow, unfortunately I only have red paint. I was about to make another cut to add a tree to the painting but the guy suddenly burst into flames. I turned to Cyanide who was holding an earring. Aquarius starts screaming, which wakes up Angela who had fallen asleep in the corner.

"Is he answering questions yet?" she asks.

"No need, Cyanide is gonna go searching through all his memories" I answer.

"That’s forbidden, nobody should even know that spell!" she yells.

"Broke into library of forbidden books, read things, learned things. Also you can't fucking stop me!" yells Cyanide. She then makes two shadow knives, enchants them, and stabs them into the guys eyes.

"OH MY GOD!" yells Angela. Oh right, it's a forbidden spell, it's kinda unsettling if you've never seen it before. Then again there's the next part where you have to cut his head off with time magic. I wonder how she's gonna do that part without that artifact she used last time. Time doesn't work the same way as shadows so she can't just turn it into a sword. I find out pretty quickly when she takes her staff out of her inventory, and I see _something_ swirling around her staff. Great, another forbidden spell I can't use. God I need to read her personal library in Hell, and break into her family's hidden library.

The moment she severs his head, it immediately starts burning bright blue before the head disappears entirely leaving a burning blue orb.

"Anyone have a blank book or like a blank stack of paper or should I put this in my inventory for now?" she asks. I turn to look at Angela's reaction and I'm not disappointed. She has a look like Cthulhu just appeared in front of her and it's hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	21. Stairs Are Evil

Cyanide

I turn to see what Lucifer is laughing at and I also start laughing. Holy shit, motherfucker looks like she just saw the _weird_ side of Hell. Lucifer walks up to her and waves a hand in front of her face and she doesn't even move.

"Yo, you got a blank book somewhere?" I ask him.

"Nah, what do you think would happen if you put it into the wall?" he asks.

"Well, when you put it into a book, the book catches fire. Most of this place is made of wood so it would probably burn down the building, but because of the way the spells supposed to work, this room would probably survive" I answer.

"Yo the emergency exit was made of rock, we could just get everyone to hide in there. It leads outside so people wouldn’t just be walking into a burning library"

"That works, Imma go grab my spell book" I say, turning to walk out of the room.

"Why do you need that?" Lucifer asks. "Don’t you have it all memorized?" he asks.

"Not all of it, there's one symbol that'll set fire to the entire block if you get it wrong, and I don’t have that one memorized" I answer. I walk back into the other room and Mallory immediately comes up to me and asks "Did he answer our questions yet?"

"He's gonna, as soon as I find my book" I answer.

"What's it look like?" she asks.

"A fancy book that makes the space around it darker and doesn't cast a shadow" I answer.

"That sounds ominous" says the kid standing next to Mallory. Apparently his names August.

"You really don’t want to see the family's hidden library then. Also what's with the kid?" I ask. For someone that was brought over to help, I can't sense any powerful magic from him.

"He's not a kid, he looks like he's barely an adult but he's like 40 something, but if you're talking about the fact that he nearly got killed by those things Aquarius summoned, it's because he was brought here by accident. Remember, the spell that brings people here is an area of effect spell." explains Mallory.

"Can't you just send him back? I mean if you leave the guy here, he's gonna die" I say.

"Actually that’s why I brought him to you. He wants you to teach him magic" she explains.

All I can say to that is "The fuck?"

"That’s what I said. I tried telling him that Angela would be a better teacher but-"

"She's _way_ to uptight and lets be real, if Mika didn’t break up the fight, she would be dead right now. Also she reads minds, where I'm from, everyone can do that but doing it without permission makes you an asshole" he says.

I tell him "I'm pretty sure that applies to every universe that has magic but I probably wouldn’t make a really good teacher. Try asking… actually never mind" Holy shit, I almost told him to ask Lucifer to teach him, while I know it would be hilarious, now is not the time. Maybe when we're not in the middle of an apocalypse.

"When do we start?" he asks.

"Right now. I need to test you. Break this with magic. Everything else starts tomorrow" I take one of the diamonds off of my necklace and hand it to him. The moment I do that, a large crack appears in the wall next to me and continues up towards the ceiling.

August eyes widen and he takes a step back. "What the hell?"

"Diamonds conduct magic well so they don’t break easily. It shows whether you're strong enough and can focus enough to actually do shit or if we need to start from the beginning" I explain.

"I think he meant why does the ceiling suddenly look like it's gonna collapse on in on him"

Me and August both look up. Oh, so it does.

"Holy shit! What the fuck?!" he yells.

"Oh right, death and disaster follow me everywhere I go. First lesson, they say that getting cursed is uncommon and it probably won't happen to you. That’s bullshit, people will curse anyone for any reason no matter how stupid. Also bad things happen when this necklace breaks because of the various assholes that don’t like me" I explain.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer

Oh shit, I hope it wasn’t the book that was on the table. I take the remains of the book out of my inventory and hope that I didn’t eat the page that has that spell on it.

"Why would you eat a spell book?" asks Angela. Wow, forgot she was there.

"They taste like candy canes" I answer. She didn’t say anything, just looked at me with a 'what the fuck' expression.

"Alright, I have to ask, why the hell do you have such a major stick up your ass? We're you like part of the magic council or some shit?" I ask.

For a second she looks offended but answers the question anyways. "As a matter of fact, I _am_ part of the council. And if you're referring to why I don’t like Candice, it's because she's been a thorn in the councils side since the moment she entered the school. She poisoned the members that were supposed to be monitoring the school, and burned down the school twice. After _that_ , she went to the news with this ridiculous story that she overheard the council planning to do something with the school and everyone inside of it. She did all of that just to cover her own ass for sneaking into the secret floors!" she rants.

"The news said nobody died in either of the fires, they just wrecked the school. Also, the news confirmed her story with a truth spell. I know she was a genius, but ain't nobody can do a proper false memory spell on _anyone_ at age 14. Also that still doesn't explain why you have such a major stick up your ass."

"The Council is what keeps the peace in the wizarding world and Candice just went and tore it apart with her group of thugs and her forbidden magic. She even went as far as to create the fucking magic mafia! She's is the single worst thing that’s happened to us and I was put on a team to bring her to justice!" she yelled.

"So publicly executing me and sending me to Hell didn't count as justice? Wow and I thought my ex could hold a grudge" said Cyanide. Oh shit she's back. And Angela is back to looking like Cthulhu appeared in front of her.

"Yo, did you eat my spell book? I can't fucking find it anywhere" she continues.

I'm about to lie about it but then I black out for a second and when I wake up, all the symbols are on the wall. "You know I hate it when you do that spell" I say.

"Did you want me to try and draw it from memory?" she asked.

"Good point" I answer.

30 Seconds Later

So we're running for our lives from the raging fire and I hear Cyanide yell to me "How the actual fuck do you have symbol memorized and still write it wrong!?"

"You mind controlled me into writing it from the memory from right before I ate it, how the fuck would I know!" I yelled back.

"The fire is right behind us, why don’t all you slow, magic using assholes just teleport out!?" I hear Mallory yell from behind us.

Me and all the other magic users in the group all yell "We can't!" and keep running.

10 Minutes Of Stairs Later And 15 Blocks Away Later

Well, we made it with no casualties. I look around and see all the non-magic users glaring at us, the magic users are probably glaring at us too, but we're all on the ground trying to catch our breath, so fuck them.

"What the hell is wrong with your universe, why the hell can't you use magic in the emergency exit?" asks some kid. I think his names August.

"I think it was so you can't destroy the emergency exit and kill everyone inside… It's fucking bullshit" I hear Cyanide say from beside me.

"This kind of crap is exactly why forbidden magic is forbidden. It's so nobody dies" says Angela.

"People die anyways, and they can be brought back just as easily. I don’t see why dying is such a big deal. Also I think everyone made it out alive this time, so you have even less of a point than usual. So you have like, negative one points right now" says Cyanide.

"Alright so you guys burned down the library/restaurant and the 15 blocks surrounding it, did the spell work at least?" asked some guy named Derrek.

"It worked, that much I can tell. And before you ask, the answers are there but the smoke from the fire produced by the spell is poisonous. We're gonna have to wait for it to clear before we can go back and check. Which is good because I just ran up 10 fucking minutes of stairs, I need a nap. I'll see you fuckers at the hotel" and then Cyanide was gone.

That’s a good fucking idea, I also teleport back to the hotel. Mmm…pillows.

 

* * *

 

August

I watch all of the other magic users disappear and now I'm here with all the people who can't teleport…

"Hey, aren’t you a wizard or something too?" asks Fumei.

"Yeah but I was brought here by accident, I'm still new at magic. Cyanide said she'd teach me but first I have to try and break this with magic" I explain, taking the diamond out of my pocket.

"I don’t know much about magic but where I'm from, breaking one of those sparkly rocks with magic is like some kind of final exam" says Caramel.

"Did you like just enter wizard school or something? How do you not know how to teleport?" asks Castor.

"Well he did nearly get killed within the 10 seconds Aquarius summoned those _things_ " says Natallia.

"They're probably not gonna stop for a while, lets head back to the hotel" says the girl beside me before she grabs my hand. Next thing I know we're back at the hotel.

"Well I'm off to take a nap like everyone else, good luck with the diamond" she says before disappearing.

Well I guess I should go back to my room too. I take a better look at the diamond I'm holding and notice that it already has a few cracks in it from all the enchantments on it. I should be able to break this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	22. Noobs and Brainwashing, Fuckin' Great

Cyanide

So many fucking stairs. I'm probably gonna have nightmares about stairs for a long time.

.

.

.

**_Candice, we were interrupted last time_ **

_Oh great_ , you're back. You were saying something last time. What the fuck are we supposed to do?

**_I was trying to warn you about the man about to attack you people_ **

**_But you seemed to handled that well enough_ **

**_Now I have more things to tell you before you wake up_ **

Hold up, one question. Are you from this universe?

**_No_ **

**_What does that have to do with anything?_ **

Yo, Phantom fix your voice, the volume is fine, but for the love of god stop echoing. It's annoying as fuck.

**How did you figure it out?**

Process of elimination. I change my name every 100 years or so. Seeing as Candice was the name I was given by my parents and pretty much everyone from back then is dead because it was such a long ass time ago, the list of people that use that name is pretty fucking short. Also everyone who isn't dead wouldn’t keep track of me or be able to communicate through different universes. Better question is why didnt you show up when I let myself get killed back there?

**It's because something about this universe isn't letting me. Which is why you need to come to Hell, I actually have something to give you and there's a few things everyone else needs to go get**

I know Hell is supposed to bridge all the universes and shit, but with how fucked this one is, I'm really not sure. I mean is the connection even there?

**It's blocked off but it's there**

So how do I unblock it? Like do I need some kind of artifact or can I just do it by force?

**Your spell book has many spells for opening gates to Hell**

**At least one of them should still work**

Wow, helpful. You realise how many spells I have for that right? And how many other ones that Lucifer probably ate?

**It is necessary**

Fuck you

**.**

**.**

**.**

Holy shit, what time is it? I take my phone out of my pocket and notice that 3 hours have passed. Lucifer might have fucked up the spell but the fire should be going out pretty soon. I guess I should check on it.

I look out the window to see the fire has spread 10 more blocks. The fires not as bright blue anymore so it should go out within the next few hours. I guess I could go teach noob wizard how to use magic. Now where is he…?

5 Minutes Later

"Yo, it's magic lesson time!" I yell as I grab August and teleport us both to the edge of town.

"Huh? What? Where? What's going on!?" he asks looking around.

"Alright, can you teleport? Also, how's it going with the diamond?" I ask. I guess I'll get the basics out of the way first then.

"I can't teleport very well. As for the diamond, I couldn’t break it." he answers and hands me the diamond.

"Im impressed. There's actually a few more cracks in this, you actually did better than I thought you would" I say before handing back the diamond.

"Aren't these things expensive?" he asks.

"They are in the human world, but that's because they're also not supposed to break. And don’t worry, it rains them on the 57th level of Hell"

"Really!?"

"Actually rains isn't the right word for it, they kinda shoot out of a rip in space at like 1000 times the speed of sound and I really wouldn’t recommend standing under it, but rains is a nicer word... As for teleporting, define 'not very well', actually just come over here" I say, teleporting a little bit backwards.

I look around and I don’t see him, but then I hear him yell "holy shit!" followed by a splash.

Did he really just…

I turn to my right and see that he did in fact land in the fountain... Ok if that’s gonna be a thing then I should probably bring us somewhere where he won't drown before he can learn magic.

I walk over, grab him, and teleport us into the forest, where there's no water near by and tell him "Let's try this the way I learned. Tag, you're it!"

2 Hours Later

"Wow, I'm not tired at all!" August says happily.

"Great, now if only you could catch me. But I guess you're going where you want to go so that’s progress. Now, since we seem to have unlimited magic as a result of the game being destroyed from the inside out, let's move on to something else"

"Something else?" he asks.

"How good are your telekinetic skills?" I ask.

"My what now?"

I shouldn’t have agreed to teach him…

 

* * *

 

August

Oh god, this is a nightmare. Why did I think I could fighting her would help!? This was a bad idea, now I'm being chased through the forest, I'm hella lost, there's fire everywhere, I can't tell which shadows are dangerous, and I don’t even know where she's attacking from. I'm also a little confused as to why the entire forest isn't on fire, I mean she's using fire spells in a forest, weak fire spells, but last time I checked things here don’t exactly hesitate to catch fire. I don’t know what the point of this is but I'm sure I  would be safe if I could just make it back to the hotel.

Everything seems to calm down for a while so I just keep walking in the direction I think the hotel is in.

I don’t know exactly how long I was walking for, but eventually I found a lake. Unfortunately, I found it by falling into it. I look back in the direction I was walking from and saw that I somehow managed to walk right off of the dock. That’s embarrassing. Well, at least the attacks have stopped. I'm probably safe now which means I should probably check my map. Thank god I actually had everything waterproofed before I left, this falling into water thing started long before I got to this world.

Ever since I entered that school actually… wait a minute. Wow.

Alright, never mind that, apparently the hotel is actually in the opposite direction. Oh god, that means I have to go back through… oh god.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

What the actual Hell? I zoned out for like 2 seconds, where the fuck did he go? I can't believe I lost the noob wizard, I can't have my first student die so soon. I start heading in the direction he ran off in. I can tell he's still in the forest but for some reason I can't tell his exact location, but other than that, nothing else seems wrong so I keep walking. Or that was the case until right now. This place… everything looks the same, but holy shit, everything feels fucking wrong here. I slow down and look around for what could be so wrong, I still don’t see anything but I grab my staff out of my inventory.

I'm looking around when I suddenly realise what's wrong. Ooh impressive, this whole part of the forest is an illusion. Too bad the fucker who created this illusion can't hide their presence very well _or figure out how physics is supposed to work_. "Yo, get out here before I burn this whole forest to Hell!"

"I can see why Aquarius is dead”

“Here to avenge him?” I ask.

“No. I'm actually here to thank you. The guy never shut up, even in his sleep. It would have been impressive if it weren't so fucking annoying. Living with him was a nightmare. So yeah, thanks for killing him” he answers.

“And the fake forest?” I ask.

“It's quieter. How could you even tell?” he asks.

“You suck at shadows” I answer.

“You're only saying that because you're an expert” he jokes.

“Dude, they're literally facing the wrong way. Light source is coming from over there, literally all the shadows are facing the wrong way” I laugh.

He turns to look towards the moon “So it is. Well whatever, I came here to see if you wanted to go get tea”

“Maybe later, first I have to go find, and beat some sense into my student”

“You mean the guy that fell into the lake?” he asks.

“Seriously?... Yeah fuck that, I'll just dump him back in the hotel with a note and we can go”

“Have to say, you're definitely hotter in 3D. I'll wait here”

“Yo, where's the lake?” I ask.

He pointed to the left and I teleported that way.

2 Minutes Later

“Holy shit!” I scream when I see the water beneath me. Thankfully I teleport back onto the grass before I could fall into the lake.

I look around and immediately see August running for the trees. I appear in front of him, shove a note in his mouth, and teleport him back to the hotel.

10 Minutes Later

“Yo, we're both warlocks, why did we have to walk?” I ask.

“Magic doesn't work properly in this part of the forest for some reason. I think it's because there was a town here that was destroyed so technically, half of this forest shouldn't exist” he answers.

“But somehow your favourite café managed to survive? That's not suspicious at all” I laugh.

“For someone that's supposed to be Aquarius called Satan in his last message to us, you're pretty cool” he says. Oh so _that's_ where he's going with this. Well I guess he's pretty hot.

“I know right? How much further is this café?” I ask.

“We're here, it's through this kinda rip in time type thing over there” he says pointing to it. Oh cool, I love these things but they were hella rare in the old universe and kinda hard to see when they were there. They all follow the same general rule though. Time moving way too slow or way too fast around the entrance, usually they have a little colour too. This one doesn't. I can see why people accidentally walked into these.

5 Minutes Later

Holy shit, the foods awesome here. Oh right, I should probably find out who this guy is. "Yo, who are you anyways?" I ask. "You said some shit about some dude called Chronos" I add. I wonder if playing dumb would even work at this point.

"I'm Taeliel, you know that really annoying guy you killed? That annoying asshat was one of the leaders of Chronos' army" he answers.

"Who the fuck is this Chronos guy anyways?" I ask.

"Our leader, and the one who's gonna fix all the glitches and bugs and shit in this world. To do that he needs to destroy this world and take the core of this world to create a new one. He would be done by now but the traitor Sefiya hid the core. Me and all the others were recruited to find it and destroy anyone who gets in our way" he explains.

Oh great, another asshole playing god. And even worse, this time _I'm_ the one who has to deal with it, _fucking great_. This shits exactly why I left guarding the Library of Forbidden Magic to my parents. Not doing whatever the hell I want, fixing my attitude, being nice to the magic council…I shudder at the thought of that.

Why haven't I ditched this guy yet? Oh right, gathering information. "Sefiya?" I ask.

"His former co-leader. He had originally planned on ruling the new universe together too, but then she went and hid the core somewhere so he killed her. It's really too bad, I mean she was my friend, actually so were the admins"

"Wow, what an asshole, why you people helping him?" I ask. Please just let it be brainwashing, I can actually undo that.

"When the old creator Jinx disappeared all of a sudden, the update he was working on was left unfinished, Chronos and Sefiya could have probably have finished the update but Jinx didn’t leave any clue as to what the update was supposed to do. Seeing as the world as we knew it was falling apart before us, our leader decided it would be best to kill it off and start a new one, no matter what the cost"

"Did he leave out the part where everyone who exists here would be destroyed along with this world?" I ask. I still can't understand why anyone would want to destroy the world that they're linked to.

" _We are all aware of our impending fates, I'm sure you are too. It is something I have accepted_ " he says in a really weird tone while staring off into space.

Alright then, brainwashing, definitely brainwashing. I'm about to see if I can sneak away while he's completely zoned out. Im trying to back away slowly when he suddenly grabs me and pulls me across the table before making a run for the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've read this far  
> Please ♥ and comment~♪  
> Also if you like the story, please support me on Patreon  
> https://www.patreon.com/DemonNextDoor


	23. What even? What?

August

I was making a run for the forest when Cyanide suddenly appeared in front of me and shoved a note in my mouth.

Next thing I know, I was in the fountain in front of the hotel.

I was climbing out when some guy asks "Yo, you realise that the pools around back, right?"

I run to see Lucifer, who was also in the fountain. So I ask "Then the hell _you_ doing?"

"Having lunch" he answers, pulling a plate of what looked like magic squid off of one of the statues. "Why were you eating a piece of paper?" he adds.

"Oh right, Cyanide had a message for everyone" I reply. I hand the paper to Lucifer, he looks at it for a second, then disappears for a second, and then comes back a few seconds later with another plate of squid.

2 Minutes Later

I hear splashing coming our way but I ignored it, assuming that someone else had landed in the fountain.

Then Mallory came through the waterfall and yelled at us both to go inside to the main lobby. Wow, what the hell did that note say?

Inside

"Alright, can anyone tell me where Cyanide went?" asked Mika.

"Who's that?" asked Castor.

"Oh I dunno, maybe _the only person that’s not here right now!_ " answered Mallory, clearly annoyed at his stupidity.

"You mean **Satan**?" asked Luna.

"She's not Satan, she's just misunderstood" says Asher, _like a suckup_.

"More like, she's not Satan because there's no way Satan could be _that_ evil." says Angela, _like an asshole_.

"Actually, she's not Satan because I've seen them both together in the same room, having a conversation" Lucifer says correcting both of them.

"We can discuss whether or not any of us are Satan later, we need to start finding the artifacts to stop the Psycho Creator, and to do that, we need to leave this town" says Mika.

Then Noire points something out "You do realise that we could just text her the location and meet her there right?"

"No! That’s not how we're gonna do things, we already have enough dead players!" yells Mallory.

"Somehow I feel like that’s not something we need to worry about…" I say, remembering what happened less than an hour ago.

 

Cyanide

Taeliel had dragged me halfway out the door before I finally turned around and saw why. I could barely see it but it was defiantly there. A rip in space was beginning to open up inside the café. "Chronos is looking for me again, let's get outta here before his minions show up" he says, suddenly back to normal.

"What the fuck was that?!" I ask.

"Chronos likes to send his puppets to get me when he needs me for something. It's really too bad, I mean I was having fun" he says running back towards the rip in time. Well I meant the weird voice with the weird message, but whatever. _Its not like I see rips in space all the time in Hell..._

5 Minutes Of Running Later

Oh my god thats a lot of running, well we're back at the entrance now. I turn to leave when Taelial stops me. For a second I'm about to pull my staff out of my inventory again but then he says.

"I never got your name" he says

"Cyanide"

"That’s an interesting name. I hope we run into each other again" he says before opening a rip in space and disappearing through it.

I guess I should head back to the hotel, now which way was it… I open the menu and check the map. Alright, the hotels back north. I can't believe not everyone knows how to use the map. They're all so stupid...

10 Minutes Later

I'm far away enough from the rip in time that I should be able to teleport without making the rip any bigger. Don't want to destroy the entire universe until I've explored every part of it.

Outside The Hotel

I appear in front of the hotel and head for the door. As I'm passing the fountain, I see a plate float by, followed by a bunch of squid. Oh, it's magic squid day already? I walk up to the edge of the fountain and grab a few squid and continue to the door.

The second I get inside I hear arguing, my name, and Satan. Fuck, this discussion again. Maybe if I just teleport to my room.

"Where the **hell** do you think you're going?" yells Mallory.

"Away from this fight that’s about to happen" I say before teleporting back up to my room.

"Oh hell no you don’t" Angela says, appearing in my room, grabbing me, and teleporting back to the lobby.

"Where did you even go?" asked Aria.

"Apparently you disappeared right off of Violetta's map" says some girl named Caramel.

"Some guy appeared in the forest while I was trying to teach August how to _not suck_ , we went and got tea. So I disappeared for a few minutes, why is that such a big deal?" I ask.

"It's a huge fucking deal if you're gonna disappear for 3 fucking hours!" yelled Angela. Oh right, time passes differently in the rips in time.

"Oh wow, _you_ were worried about what happened to _'Magic Satan'_. Well, no I've seen everything" I laughed.

"Not even, fuck you!" she says before leaving.

"Wait, some guy in the forest? You mean the forest around this town?" asked Mika.

Oh shit, I don’t like where this is going. "Yeah, why? I ask.

"Shit. I know this, I just can't remember it right now" he says before opening the game menu on his phone and start scrolling through something too fast for me to catch the title.

"Well, I mean, since we're all here now… Why don’t we just get going?" asks some girl named Luna. Wait, isn't that the bitch that fainted? I mean I know that seeing that guy summon all those _things_ was surprising but holy shit

"Where are we going?" asked Fumei.

"The city, Cypher" answered Derrek.

"What's that" asked Lucifer.

"It's a city without magic. It's also where we think one of the artifacts is" answers Mallory.

 _Oh shit_. I turn to Lucifer who also looks horrified. Then we turn to look at Noire and Natallia who seem completely unaware of why me or Lucifer stepping foot in a town like that would be **very** bad for them.

" _Shit, now we really need to tell them"_ thinks Lucifer.

 _"Then you do it"_ I reply.

 _"Actually there's a chance it won't happen, don’t you have a spell that does that?"_ asks Lucifer.

" _It's an enchantment on an object, and I'm not sure it it'll keep working in the town. And you know how to do it about as well as I do_ " I answer.

"Interesting conversation you're having there, wouldn’t want those two finding out, would you?" asked Angela.

"You wouldn’t want to find out what happens when you die in this universe, would you?" I answer as I stepped closer to her and started reaching for my necklace. "Remember that little family curse? It works _much_ more like an area of effect spell than one that chooses its targets" I continue.

I guess she's not completely an idiot, since she starts backing away, suddenly looking very nervous.

"We lived in Hell for a long fucking time, we can get _very_ creative" adds Lucifer.

"Alright, fine. If you'd rather take your chances with that charm, then _fiiine_. Just know that the council has a book of spells that almost always work in magicless towns" she gloats.

"Hey, remember that time I broke into the council building and stole that?" I ask.

"No" she answers.

"Oh right, that's because I'm doing that right now!" I say before taking my uneaten spell book out of my inventory, and doing the ritual for the teleportation spell. When I open my eyes, I'm in the council building. It's a lot quieter than usual… Now it would just stay this quiet then I should be done in an hour or so. As Im about to go further into the building I sense a presence. It seems like they haven't noticed me yet...

 

Mallory

I was talking to the rest of the magic users, who for some reason, all didn’t want to go to Cypher, when I turned around to hear Cyanide and Angela arguing. _Oh great_ , this again. I swear, we're going to have to lock them in a room together until they learn to get along.

"Oh right, that's because I'm doing that right now!" yells Cyanide before she killed some poor guy, part of a spell I assume, and disappeared. Fucking magic users…

Great, just great. I look at Angela and Lucifer, one of those two should know where she where she went. I guess I should ask them… I really don’t want to deal with them right now. Guess I have no choice, I approach both of them and ask "Alright, where the hell did she go this time?" I ask.

"I would tell you but Lucifer over there might rip out my spine" Angela answers sarcastically. I do not have time for this.

"She went to grab something from Halloween Town, should be back in an hour or so" answers Lucifer, being helpful for once. Oh, I feel like this is a sign of the apocalypse.

Also we were supposed to have left by now. ""This is ridiculous!" I yell.

"Yeah well magic users are assholes. Why don’t we just go? I mean those guys can all teleport. I'm sure they could track our party on the map" says Caramel.

"I'd love to but what are the actual chances that they’ll show up? I mean _if they don’t fight to the death first_ , Angela would probably come, but Cyanide? I'm sure she would ditch us and head back to Hell or something"

"Why don’t you just send one of the other magic nerds to go get them?" asks Castor.

"Because if I did that, they might also not come back. Either because it's a magicless town we're heading to next and they all seem to hate those or because they got caught up in the fight too"

 

Angela

I was about to head back to the council building to make sure Magic Satan or 'Cyanide' didn’t kill everyone to find that book, when she reappeared, grabbed me and teleported us away. Probably back to the council building. I closed my eyes, I really don’t want to see what she might have done to the place or even worse, _the people_.

"Calm your shit, everyone's alive and I didn’t paint the walls with blood or anything like that. You can open your eyes" she says. Did she just read my mind?

I hesitate for a second before I remembering that I'm the 2nd leader of the council, I'm not allowed to be scared of her. With that thought, I open my eyes and find that she was telling the truth. There was broken glass everywhere, a few cases were knocked over, and there were books scattered everywhere, but other than that, nothing else seemed wrong.

"Motherfucker, where's the book?" she asks surprisingly calmly.

"What book?" I ask. Like hell I'm going to give that information to _her_.

"Let me just make this clear. If my friends die, the _massacre_ that got me the nickname 'Magic Satan' will be **nothing** compared to what I'm going to do here. I mean, last time I only killed the people involved with my execution. That makes what? Like a quarter of the people here? If I don’t find that book, _everyone dies_ "

"We would stop you" I respond. Oh god, I'm definitely lying through my teeth. We couldn’t do anything last time, I'm not sure the council will _ever_ be rebuilt if she killed _everyone_. Where's Riel? He should be the one dealing with things like this.

"Knocked out and locked in the safe. He's not coming to save your ass" she says. Maybe if I could just trap her until Riel gets free… Also wow, no wonder she gets annoyed when I read her mind, that’s really annoying.

"If you think I'd fall for _that_ , you're even stupider than I thought. Which is impressive because I thought you were about as smart as a house plant. Now tell me where that book is before I find out whether or not I can make people explode with my telekinetic powers"

Guess there's no point in lying, and fighting her would at best, result in both of us dead. "It's in the library on the top floor"

"That wasn’t hard, was it?" she asks.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to kill right now and solve about 3 quarters of the councils problems.

"Only 3 quarters? I guess I need put a little effort into things then"

Oh god.

 

Lucifer

I guess I should start working on those charms in case those two kill each other and destroy the book in the process. Holy shit being sober is weird, normally it's Cyanide handling this kind of stuff.

1 Hour And Some Enchanting Later

Well that easier than expected. Now to put these on those two without them getting suspicious.

"Yo dumbasses, put these on" I say as I shove the necklaces in their faces.

"Why?" they both ask.

"Because SQUID!" I yell, pulling 2 magic squid out of my pockets and aiming them right at Natallia and Noire. I'm pretty sure these ones look like they have some ink in them.

"Alright fine!" says Natallia putting the necklace on. I turn and aim both squid at Noire.

"Alright, holy shit. What are you on?" he says, also putting on the necklace.

Well that solves that problem, now I just have to wait and see if Cyanide comes back with the book.


	24. The Contest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block kicked my ass for a month but I have finally updated

Cyanide

Why the **fuck** is nothing labeled in this book!? There isn't even the usual council made table of contents sheet. Did they not get to this one or some shit?

"That is one of the forbidden books and unlike _you_ , we don’t go reading through those for fun" says Angela.

Oh right, she's still here. "You can fuck off now" I tell her.

I'll just bring this with me I guess. Now all I need is a soul to make this teleportation spell work…

"You don’t need to sacrifice someone every time" she says.

"Your spell takes too long, also fuck you" I answer before teleporting back to the hotel with the book. I wonder if I could rip this spell book in half and give half to Lucifer to search through. Would probably get this done faster.

Now, which page isn't ripping a spell in half…?

 

* * *

 

2 Hours Later

_"Find anything?"_ I ask.

 _"Not yet"_ answers Lucifer.

I'm about to go back to my half of the book when I hear a scream from outside followed by a splash. I guess Angela's back. And she landed near the fountain.

She comes inside with rainbow ink all over herself and a magic squid on her head. "What the hell did you do to me? Why the fuck did I land in the fountain!!" she yells pointing at me.

Fuck this, I just go back to my half of the book and ignore her.

Holy fuck, why can't this book be completely in English?

"Don't ignore me, I'm tryi-"

_SCREEECH!!!_

She was cut off by a loud screech that shattered all the windows in the room. Judging by the sound of it, probably all the glass in the town too.

"I guess the fires out" I say getting up to go to the building.

"What the actual Hell was that?!" asked Mallory.

"The signal that the spell is done" I answer.

"Why did it have to be loud enough to shatter all the glass in the town?" asked Fumei.

"Well it was supposed to be able to be heard through 5 levels of Hell in either direction in case you couldn’t stay and watch until the fire went out"

"I thought that was only if you fucked up the spell" says Mika.

"No, if you fuck up the spell, the fire's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than it needs to be. Anyways it's done now, we need to go back to the room and see what it says" I reply. Gods, I hope this fucker had some useful information, and a reason not to go to Cypher. Maybe if we go to another town first, me and Lucifer will have enough time to figure out how I'm gonna stop _that_ from happening to Natallia and Noire.

 

* * *

 

2 Blocks From The Library

“Holy shit, what's with all the walking lately?” I ask.

“Motherfucker, you’re floating” says Violetta.

“No wonder people think you’re a ghost at first” adds Noire.

“Oh please, everyone else is floating too. And what do you expect, we weren’t allowed to teleport” I say gesturing behind me.

“What the fuck? We’ve been walking for 5 blocks!” says Mallory.

“More like 50” Asher complains.

“Um, guys? I thought the spell was supposed to stay inside the building” says Lykos.

I look up from my laptop and see the demonic letters burned into the ground around the building and all over the outside of the building. “It is…” Alright, what the fuck?! Was that guy actually _important_ somehow? There’s no way I should have been able to kill someone that’s actually important so easily.

“Easily? I know the trick you did with the shadows and how that abomination of a spell works. You essentially shoved a lightsaber in his spine! I don’t even want to think about the spell you used to do this!” says Angela, angrily pointing to the mess of demonic letters all over the building and the ground around it.

Always with the mind reading and getting shit wrong, so annoying. “You're just jealous that you could never get that spell right and I'll have you know that ‘abomination of a spell’ hurts _way_ more than a lightsaber. I would know, I’ve tripped and stabbed myself in a duel with my teacher before”

“Gods, don’t even bring up that weirdo. I don’t know why you don’t hate him. Pretty sure he was single handedly the reason all your friends died. Just disappeared all of a sudden too” she says before turning back to the building. For a second I almost tell her that he’s not dead, but I manage to stop myself from calling her out on her stupidity.

I float past everyone into the building and see that there are words burned into all the walls inside the building too. Holy shit, this really is like a game. Right down to the pointless text with only one important part, and me soloing bosses because fuck making a party and sharing the loot. I mean he was a really weak boss, but I guess that answers by question about whether or not he was important. That or the guy had a habit of eavesdropping on important meetings, which from what Taeliel told me, wouldn’t be surprising either.

“Those _things_ he summoned were boss level, _you_ are terrifying” says Luna.

Great, another mindreader. Ok, the mind reading is getting really annoying. I start to think about the 49th level of Hell. Mmm, the screaming…

“Oh my god, turn it down!” she yells.

“How are we gonna find which parts are important?” asks Fumei.

“There’s a spell for that. All the important parts should start glowing blue” answers Angela, starting to recite a spell.

When she finishes the spell a few lines begin to light up, and for a second everyone thinks that we have the information we need, but then the blue spreads, and before anyone can say anything all the letters are glowing blue. At that point I just turn around and start walking out the door.

“Where the fuck are you going?” asks Mallory.

“Back to the hotel” I answer.

“What are you gonna do about all of this” she says pointing at all of the glowing text.

“Well I'm afraid it doesn't wash off if that’s what you're asking” I say sarcastically. She throws a vase at my head for that one. “Well I ain’t reading all of this. If you wanted me to read it, you should have helped me kill the boss” I say before continuing to the exit and grabbing Lucifer before teleporting away.

 

* * *

 

Back At The Hotel

“The fuck?” asks Lucifer.

“I don’t know what you did to fuck up the spell to make it do that, but it bought us time” I answer before handing half of the spell book to him.

“Oh, right. Natallia and Noire…” he says before pushing everyone off of one of the couches in the lobby, and opening his half of the book.

 

* * *

 

2 Hours Later

“Yo I think I found something, we gonna need some ingredients though” Lucifer says suddenly.

“Thank fuck. All the words stopped making sense to me after a while. What do we need?” I ask.

“Diamond dust, blood, and souls” he answers.

“That sounds easy enough” I say grabbing the spell and reading it. “Fucking hell, this spell is 12 pages. Wow, this shit looks complex. You're sober right?” I ask.

“Yeah, we can't afford to fuck this up. You sure this is gonna work” he asks.

I was about to say yes but then I realised something, for once I actually had no idea if this would work.

“Wow, that's comforting” Lucifer comments sarcastically.

“Well, we could always ditch the group and meet up with them after they're done in the town” I suggest.

Just as I finished saying that, Angela came around the corner and says “You will do no such thing, I don't know exactly what you're trying to prevent but everybody's going to Cypher. No exceptions”

“How’s the reading going? Last time I checked, there was writing on the ceiling too” I comment before teleporting off to grab the ingredients.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer

Cyanide teleports off and now I'm left with the remains of the council.

“I'll have you know that they're all alive” she says.

“So she spared them? I see she's already started plotting. What the fuck is she trying to do now?” I wonder out loud before going back to the spell.

“What do you mean plotting?” asks Angela.

I ignore her and start looking at the map for a space big enough to do this. So far the closest place is the space in front of the hotel, but if we use that space we would need to destroy the fountain. Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but I just started my new magic squid farm there.

“You put those in there?!” yells Angela.

“Yeah, they're fucking delicious. Try one” I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to her.

“Why was it in your pocket, you have an inventory. Wait a second. ITS STILL ALIVE!” she yells.

“Well no shit, I was told that they taste better fresh, doesn't get any fresher than still alive” I explain. I can't believe this dumbass didn't know that.

“Fresh does not mean still alive! Where the hell did you learn that?!” she yells.

I ignore her and go back to what is was doing… What was I doing again? I look around and remember I was looking for a place that we could do a spell. I scroll around a bit before seeing a clearing in the woods. Doesn't look like there's anything in it. _Wow, that's totally not suspicious._

I feel like we would have to fight a boss if we do it there. I wonder what kind of boss it would be. What will it drop when I kill it?

“You mean _if_ , right?” asks Angela. Why can't she stop reading minds? And no, I mean _when_. Cyanide already killed one boss and took his magic proofing charm, I'm not letting her win this.

“This world is ending and you two are having a contest to see who can kill the most bosses?! You'll both get yourselves killed and then helping this universe will be even harder!” yells Angela.

“The contest is over when one of us ends back up in Hell or we get through the whole list of bosses or this universe gets destroyed and we're all thrown into the void to regret existing until the end of all existence itself” I reply.

“Wow, that’s dark” she comments.

“Not really, it happens more than you would think” I explain. She just stares at me. “Don’t you have demonic languages to be reading?” I ask.

“It's all over the building; inside, and out. You can't expect me to read all of that” she answers.

“I always knew that the council was lazy with the translating. Cyanide mentioned that half your 'secret' library wasn’t even in a human language” I comment. I probably shouldn’t, but pissing her off is hilarious.

“She broke into the secret library? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!” she yells.

“If that still surprises you then you're even stupider than the average house plant” answers Cyanide. “By the way, I got the souls” she says holding up a glowing container.

“Who actually puts souls in jars?!” Angela yells.

“Remember how I bring bad luck and death everywhere I go?” says Cyanide walking past Angela. For a second I feel an ominous presence. “It's not always by accident” she finishes as a chandelier falls down and nearly crushes Angela. Angela teleports away after that.

“Yo, did you find somewhere we could do the spell?” she asks me.

“Yeah. There’s a few trees in the way but I can deal with that” I lie.

“Cool, I'll grab the rest of the ingredients then” she says before teleporting away too.

 

* * *

 

Half An Hour Later

Holy shit, this clearing was hard to find. I look at the path leading to the stone clearing in front of me. I see something in the clearing up ahead, but I can't get a good look at it without getting closer and starting the encounter. From what I can tell, the thing is on all fours, and has black and red fur. I guess I could try looking it up…

Name: Lyra

Level: ???

Description: **A boss level monster, party of 4-8 recommended**. A demonic fox creature that used to be the pet of the creator Jinx. Lyra was the guardian of the city Aries. After Jinx’s’ disappearance, Lyra has terrorised the forest outside of Nightmare City.

So all I have to do is kill Lyra to even the score, and find the next boss before Cyanide does

 


	25. Nightmare City Down

Lucifer

I should probably check what the thing is capable of before fighting it though.

Lyra Powers and Abilities: ???

Wow, _that was helpful_. Guess I’m going to find out the hard way this time.

With that thought, I step into the clearing. The second I do that, a light surrounds the area around the clearing and Lyra charges at me. I teleport out of the way and Lyra crashes into the boundary. It's health bar seems to drop a little from that, I can't tell if it was from the force or the boundary itself though. Lyra seems to get up and shake it off, then it turns towards me and- HOLY SHIT IT BREATHES FIRE. I teleport to the other side of the area and try to see what else it can do. It rushes me again, but this time I can see fire around it. I teleport out of the way again and see scorch marks on the ground where it was. Wow, this is a kinda boring fight. I take out one of my spell books that I didn’t eat and summon my plant dragon. My dragon doesn't appear immediately, but then a circle appears under Lyra. A second later, my dragon flies out of the ground from underneath Lyra, sending Lyra flying into the air with it. That looks like it does some damage. Lyra’s is focused on my dragon which gives me time to summon my Tentacle Plant Monster. I’m not sure if I can actually use it in a fight, but I guess I’m about to find out.

Turns out it can't really do much damage, but it _can_ hold Lyra in place while my dragon tears Lyra to ribbons. I watch as Lyra’s health bar drains, until it roars, and disappears. As soon as that happens, the boundary disappears.

I unsummon my dragon and move my tentacle plant monster to the other side of the clearing for later. Looking around, I notice a few things where Lyra was, I look through the stuff and find a spell and a red charm. The charm doesn't seem to do anything but I put it on my hat anyways. I’m not sure what the spell is for but it seems to require the charm, I do the spell and it summons a mini Lyra. I guess it's supposed to be a familiar.

“So now were even” says Cyanide walking into the clearing. I see a bunch of souls floating all around her, I'm about to ask about it but she explains it before I can ask. “I tried to put them all in the jar but the jar ran out of space”

“You have everything else?” I ask.

“Yeah, the rest of the stuff is in my inventory” she answers.

“Where’d you get the diamond dust?” I ask before I remember that the necklace that Satan gave her to protect everyone was made of diamond, I take a few steps back before she gives me a look and says “Hey dumbass, I didn’t break Satan’s necklace, I robbed a jewelry store on my way here”

“Oh thank fuck, lets get this shit started” I say pulling out the pages for the spell.

One Complicated Spell Later

“How are we gonna get the charms on them without being suspicious this time?” Cyanide asks.

“Well I threatened to squid them last time, they thought I was high. I could just do that again” I suggest.

“I'll handle this one” she says pulling out a bottle of ‘special mana potion’, taking a swig of it, pouring the rest of it all over her cloak, and teleporting off.

Wow, show up drunk _and_ high. I don’t see how _that_ ’s any better than my idea…

 

* * *

 

Mallory

I can't believe those two just left, were kinda in the middle of something important.

“Hey, I found something!” someone yells from inside.

I rush inside and see Derrek waving me over. I ask him what he found and he answers “I dunno, I can't read it. But I know it's important!”

That’s it! Angela, I know you're eavesdropping. _Come here and translate this shit!_

“You want me to translate that? I can't read that language, it’s one of the Northern demonic languages” she replies.

“It was your spell that made it light up!” I scream. Gods, no wonder Cyanide kills people all the time.

“We don’t read demonic languages, we just do the spell, we have a whole subgroup that translates the text” she explains.

“Wow, no wonder her highness hates the magic council. You people attempt to control the rest of the world of magic when you don’t even have your own shit together” comments Asher.

“That’s rich coming from the magic mafia, which by the way, has pretty much fallen apart since Candice left!” yells Angela.

Who the hell is Candice? Is she talking about Cyanide?

“Falling apart, but we could still wipe out that self proclaimed ‘government’ that you people set up!” yells Asher.

Oh gods, I am so done with this. This world, this apocalypse, these _people, all of it_. I can feel myself slowly going dark side.

“You think I want to be working with Candice of all people!” snaps Angela.

I'm about to pull out my lightsaber and make them both shut up when Cyanide bursts in through the door. A closer look shows that she has some blue liquid all over the front of her cloak, gods I hope that isn't blood. She walks right past everyone’s stares, right up to Natallia and Noire who were trying to translate the text. She then puts 2 necklaces on them and says “Heeyyy, I made a thing. Wear it's”

I was going to grab her and demand that she help translate this shit but she teleported away before I could get close.

“GOD MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT!” I yell throwing the Demon to English Dictionary in a random direction. I think I hear someone yell ow, but I am way beyond giving a shit right now.

“Hey, we found something” says Noire.

“Please tell me it's good news” I answer.

“It says that something called a ‘distortion’ is hidden in the town Cypher” says Natallia.

Holy shit, that _is_ good news! I ask her to gather everyone in a meeting room in a few minutes.

1 Hour Later

“We have some good news; we know where an artifact is gonna be” I announce. Everyone cheered at that, but I assume it's just because they can all put down the Demon to English dictionary’s.

“It will be in the magicless town Cypher. The people are a little scary there, so we’ll have to blend in. This meaning we all need to look completely human”

This was followed by a chorus of the magic users protesting in some way. Some of them even try to escape but Mika blocks the door. Thank god the meeting rooms are magic proof; we don’t have to deal with them teleporting away too. I try to calm them down but it clearly doesn't work. I turn to Angela, who has been pretty good with helping us since being brought here, hoping that she could help me talk some sense into all the magic users, but she also looks like she wants nothing to do with that town. My gods, what is so bad about going without magic for a few days?

“Wait, only a few days?” asks Aria.

Everyone seems to calm down at that, until someone mentions that Cyanide and Lucifer are missing. Then a whole new wave of yelling starts because they seem to think that Cyanide and Lucifer don’t have to go. Wow, I'm beginning to really understand why people join the dark side, at least they can kill people without getting in too much trouble. Where did those two even go? They disappeared when we got to the library and that was hours ago.

“I can go get them” volunteers Angela.

_Thanks, the map should tell you where they are._

 

* * *

 

Angela

I am so sick of those two. I guess it could be worse though, I mean she did seem to drop that god awful habit she has when she gets angry. I still shudder at the thought of last time; the building being on fire was the _least_ terrifying part of what she did. I'm pretty sure most of the council is still too scared to face her.

What was I doing here again? Oh right, I was looking for those two walking disasters. According to the map they should be right around here…

I hear Lucifer whisper “Dude, she hasn’t seen us yet”

I sense them trying to sneak out of the area and grab them before they can get away.

Cyanide yells “Yo, what the fu-“ I cut her off by teleporting us all back to the hotel.

“Yo, what the fuck?!” yells Lucifer when we reappear in the hotel. My god, I hate people from the Northern Islands, they're all the same; loud, insane, and dangerous.

“What the hell were you two doing?! We have to leave immediately!” yells Mallory pointing to the cars outside.

1 Hour Of Struggling Later

It took a little effort but most of the other magic users are in cars and we’re on our way to find the Distortion.

Gods, that town is going to be a nightmare.

“Exactly, but so was this town” says Cyanide, who throws a few pieces of paper out the window occasionally as we drive out of the town.

I found it weird but I assumed she was cursing the town or something like that.

That is, until we leave the town entirely and she says “They didn’t have an ice cream place…” And the whole town goes up in flames behind us.

“Holy shit! Cyanide, WHAT THE FUCK?!” screams Mallory.

“I’M DOING THEM A FUCKING FAVOUR!” Cyanide screams back.

… and the nightmare begins now


	26. One More Town In Flames

Angela

The drive was horrible as expected, I still can't believe that Mallory pulled out a lightsaber in the car. I expect that kind of thing from Cyanide (she pulled out a shadow sword in return) but Mallory should know better. Then again, anyone would flip out if they had to deal with the magic equivalent of Satan for a whole week.

I'm trying to ignore the arguing when I notice that it stopped and we were outside a town called /error**¿42/error.

“Why’d we stop?” asks Lucifer who had somehow managed to stay asleep until this point.

“Uh…Is the town supposed to be glitching out like that?” asks Fumei, who had been quiet throughout the whole car ride.

I let go of Mallory and Cyanide and turn to look at the town and see that the town is in fact glitching out. The scenery is shifting around, buildings are disappearing at random, and the whole place just looks unstable.

I realised I shouldn’t have let them go because a second later; the arguing continued, a lightsaber flew past my head through the window, and I heard a window crack. I turned around again to see Cyanide against the window with Mallory’s hand around her throat.

“I don’t know how the fuck anything works where _you're_ from, but in _this_ universe, you can't just go around destroying whatever you want!” says Mallory. She says it calmly but there’s no doubt that she's pissed off.

“Wow, I didn’t realise you were into this kind of thing. Then again, it shouldn’t surprise me, all you Force users are” laughs Cyanide.

 

1 Fight Later

“But seriously, is the town supposed to be doing that?” asks August.

“No, it's not. It was supposed to be a peaceful town called Nimrod, the creator probably destroyed a part of the code that kept it stable” answers Mika.

“Nimrod? Wow, I think error42error is actually an improvement” comments Natallia.

“Why did we stop here?” asks Caramel.

“Because Cypher is a town of humans that has existed far away from the rest of this universe. The do not take kindly to nonhumans. We’re in this town to grab some things to _some_ of you look a little more human so we don’t get publicly executed” explains Mika.

“So basically they're racist?” asks Lucifer.

“Yes, and those eyes will get you lynched” I answer.

“Other than that, is that town even safe to go into?” asks Fumei.

“Yes, it always looks like that, minus the glitching” answers Mallory heading towards the town.

Oh god, this is how I'm going to die…

 

* * *

 

Mika

We pull up a few minutes from error42error and I announce “Everyone out, the roads for this town are shit, we’re walking the rest of the way”

This was answered by a lot of groans, complaining, and one celadon lightsaber flying out a car window. _Wow, thanks Mallory._

After much struggling, a fire, 3 fights, and 1 stabbing; we were finally in the town. “The fuck are we doing here anyways?” asks Cyanide.

“We’re grabbing a shit ton of hair dye, makeup, and colour contacts to make you assholes look like you're actually human” I answer.

“Says the motherfucker with light blue hair and a halo” comments Lucifer.

“Did I say I was an exception to this?” I ask heading towards the store.

3 Hours Later

“Look, I'm a Jedi!” yelled Lucifer running around swinging around Noire’s lightsaber, breaking everything in his path. We really shouldn’t have let him have an energy drink, I don’t know how that wig is staying in place right now.

“I look like a punk” said Cyanide coming out of the washroom with a black wig and a much less ghost like complexion.

“You _are_ a punk! Also you had _neon green_ hair before!” yelled Angela who looked human and only had to take off the visible magic charms.

“Do I have to wear a wig? I mean, people do dye their hair weird colours” said Asher.

“Your hair glows at all times” August points out. August also looked completely human so just like Angela and Aria, he only had to take off the visible magic charms.

“Oh my god, makeup is fucking awful” complains Castor.

“Parts of your skin are green and have scales, it is necessary” says Lykos.

3 More Hours Later

“Give me back my fucking book, there’s no ice cream in this shitty glitchtastic town!” screamed Cyanide who was currently fighting Mallory.

“You're supposed to be helping us save this universe, not destroying it further!” Mallory screamed back. …I didn’t know Mallory could use force lightning.

I don’t even want to know what happened to Lucifer, but the energy drink machine is missing. Oh well, I’m pretty sure that if I need him for anything I could just follow the broken displays and the lightsaber marks in the walls and ground.

1 More Hour Later

Eventually we got everyone to look completely human and non magical, broke up the fight between Mallory and Cyanide, and found Lucifer passed out in the fountain with most of the town glitching and on fire around him.

All things considered, this trip went better than expected. Nobody important died, we didn’t get found by another Corrupted Admin, and nobody went dark side.

1 Car Ride Later

Were driving for about another half an hour or so when I start to see the road ahead turn to a stone path. I look ahead to the town and see that it's the same as I remembered it, no glitching or design changes. I always found the naming of this town kinda weird. It's named like a sci-fi city but in reality it's more like

“Everybody out, the roads from here won't be wide enough for a car. We’re gonna have to walk” I announce.

20 Minutes Of Complaining Later

“Why can't there just be portals and shit, like in a normal game?” asks Asher who is already floating. Oh come on, we’ve been walking for 5 minutes. Why can't magic users just walk like the rest of us instead of teleporting along or floating?

“Because the creator wanted it to be ‘realistic’, whatever that means” answers Mallory.

“I swear if they come back, I’m gonna kill them” says Cyanide.

“Holy shit! Murder is not a casual thing here, stop killing people!” yells Angela.

As soon as she finished that sentence, I heard a voice shout from a tree “Who goes there?! Are you here to attack the village?!”

I was about to respond but then there was a gunshot and a villager was falling out of the tree. I turn to look at Cyanide.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t normally carry a gun” she says.

“That was me. Calm your shit, it wasn’t fatal” says Caramel.

We all turn around to see the villager dragging himself towards us, I’m about to put the guy out of his misery when he gets up and starts welcoming us to his town. Being an admin definitely has its perks.

20 Minutes Of Walking Later

“To the left you will see the Distortion Mountains, to your right you will see the Forbidden Forest, and right in front of us is the town border. If any of you use magic, I recommend crossing slowly… too late” says the villager. I turn around to see all of the magic users on the ground either barely conscious or full on out cold. I also see the rest of the group hesitating to cross the town border.

“Are they gonna be alright?!” asks Lykos.

“I'm surprised you brought such a large group of magic users to our town, Angel King of Diamonds. And don’t worry kid, they only passed out because the border of our town takes away magic all at once instead of doing it gradually like other places, they’ll be fine. I’ll show your group to a house you can stay at” says the villager continuing to lead us into the town.

Slowly the others start crossing the town border, but something seems off. When the rest of the group crosses the border, everything seems fine. That is until Natallia and Noire also collapse, the charms on their necklaces glowing but cracking.

20 Minutes With No Complaining Later

“Any idea how long it will take for them to wake up?” asks Mallory.

“Usually a few hours if they weren’t being kept alive solely by a magic spell, probably never if they were” answers the villager.

Oh shit, I look at Noire and Natallia. If this is why Cyanide and Lucifer were being all suspicious…

Oh this can not go well.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

.

.

Oh gods, not again

.

**_Candice…_ **

**_Are you avoiding me?_ **

What happened to you being strong enough to knock me out?

**_I think the town border handled that for me, wouldn’t you agree?_ **

Town border? Oh right…Oh shit! What happened to Natallia and Noire?!

**_There is no need to yell, we are in your mind. I can hear you just fine. Your charm kept them from crumbling to dust immediately but they are both unconscious, and probably won't wake up while you're in this town. I feel like you and Lucifer should tell them that they are doomed and have been from the start. Or is this really something you want them to discover on their own?_ **

Motherfucker, I know already. But did you forget who taught me necromancy? Hehe, ironic isn't it?

**_That implies that you know where people go when they die in that world, I would love to know, since I can't figure it out myself_ **

Not exactly, but I saw _something_ when I let that Aquarius guy kill me earlier and if I could get a second look I-

**_NO! Absolutely not! We both know what you saw there, you managed to out run it last time but it will be expecting you this time and we both know you can't fight it off without what you stole from me_ **

What?! What I stole?

**_I know you took it, nearly 600 years but you still can't get anything past me_ **

Fine, you caught me. Wait, are you saying it can kill that thing?

**_Yes, but first you need to come back to Hell to get it. To do that, you will need a proper Shard of Space, I believe the people from that world are calling it the Distortion. Find it, kill that thing dragging the dead into the darkness, and I will come back to this world with you. I've been meaning to expand my territory and after I take down the ruler of this one, claiming the space will be easy_ **

Fine

**_Good, now I believe it's time to wake up._ **

.

.

.

Gods, I fucking hate that disoriented feeling I get when that asshole talks to me in my mind. I try to sit up but immediately get dizzy and fall right back over. I try to sit up again, slower this time. I look around the room and don’t find anything remotely interesting, another bed, couch, bookshelf, desk, all the typical shit. I feel someone stirring next to me and see Lucifer still asleep next to me.

Where the fuck am I? What time is it? Oh right, I can just check on my laptop. I see my bag on the couch across the room and try to levitate it to me. Nothing happens… Oh right, no magic in this town. I get up to go grab it but before I can figure out what's happening, I’m on the ground.

Did I just fucking trip!?

This is going to be a long 2 days…


	27. The Grim Reapers Request

Lucifer

.

.

.

**_I’m surprised to find you sober_ **

Hey genius, this is my dream, of course I’m sober. Are you that Death guy that’s haunting Cyanide?

**_You can tell?_ **

You sound different from the other voice.

**_Other voice?_ **

Fucked up a spell at some point, been hearing that voice ever since. It's actually quite helpful.

**_What has the other voice told you so far?_ **

Shit ton of random cryptic advice, but they also told me that I need to get back to Hell and meet with Satan.

**_Are you sure it isn't Satan?_ **

I got no clue. I don’t think Satan refers to himself in the third person.

**_Fair enough, did the voice give you a reason?_ **

Some shit about having something for me. Yo, I have a question, what exactly is your relationship with Cyanide? You clearly know each other.

**_She never told you? Well I guess she has enough of a reputation as it is, no need to add another reason to fear her…_ **

_Wow, thats not sketchy as Hell_. Why you talking to me anyways, don’t you usually haunt her?

**_Haunt implies that I'm dead, and I assure you that is not an easy thing to pull off. Killing Death… Anyways, I have a favour to ask of you._ **

Ooh, the grim reaper himself wants me to do him a favour.

**_There’s a book in that world, I want you to bring it to me. Don’t read it, just bring it to me._ **

Why don’t you just ask Cyanide?

**_Because she read her way through her family’s archive of forbidden books, not being allowed to read it wouldn’t stop her. If she read this one, I don’t know how she would react._ **

Fine, what's it look like?

**_If I knew that, I would just put the image in your head. You will know it when you see it._ **

Fine. Asshole...

**_Good, now it's time to wake up_ **

.

.

.

Fuck, I get why Cyanide is always in a shitty mood after dealing with that guy. I wake up and the whole room is spinning. Fuck this, I'm going back to sleep.

 

3 Hours Later

I guess I should get up now. I roll over and HOLY SHIT!

Fuck… Did I just fall off the bed? Where the fuck is everyone, I can't sense them at all. I immediately try to levitate my wand over from the table but nothing happens…oh right, no magic in this piece of shit town. What a pain in the ass.

I pick myself up and look around. Ooh, window. I walk over and take a look outside and see that we’re in some technicolour amish country nightmare. I turn back and head out into the hallway wanting that horrible image out of my head. I hope it only looks like that because the whole town is glitching out.  At least the place we’re staying looks relatively normal on the inside.

“Hey, both of you! Get down here!” yells Mallory from what I assume was the first floor. Wait, both of you? I turn to my right and see Cyanide sitting leaning against the railing reading one of her weird books.

“Help me up” she says.

I head over and grab her, hand pulling her up and head towards the stairs. ...Were her heels always that loud? As I finish that thought, she loses her balance. Somehow I manage to catch her and for a second I think it's all good.

The last thought I had before I stepped on the edge of my robes and we were both falling down the stairs was; _this is what I get for being optimistic_.

Fucking hell, I forgot falling down stairs was supposed to hurt. I look down at my robes, were they really too long this whole time? I guess I can deal with that later.

“After _that_ bullshit with the stairs, this shit better be important” says Cyanide who is surprisingly calm.

“Now that everyone’s here, we have some news; we have found where the Distortion is” says Mika.

“Are we leaving right now or some shit?” Caramel asks.

“No, that’s not why we called everyone down here” answers Mika.

“The reason we called everyone down here is to tell you that we found the Distortion, and those of us that don’t rely on magic for motherfucking _everything_ are leaving tomorrow” announces Mallory.

“The fuck? What are the rest of us supposed to do?” asks Cyanide.

“Survive without our help, don’t run away, and DON’T DESTROY THE TOWN!” yells Mallory, looking at me and Cyanide.

“That was once and I was high!” I shout.

“That town had it coming, I was doing them a favor!” Cyanide says at the same time.

Wait, leaving tomorrow? That doesn't sound right. Damn, I'm actually noticing things again, being sober is weird. What was I doing again? Oh right, I was gonna ask what the actual fuck they meant ‘leaving tomorrow’.

“I thought we were only gonna be here for 2 days. You guys are implying that this is gonna take longer?” asks Cyanide before I have the chance.

“Yeah, we thought this was gonna be a simple trip; grab the thing and go. Turns out it's a little more complicated than that. It turns out that the Distortion is hidden deep within the mountains and the trip will take closer to a week, maybe longer” answers Mika.

About a minute passes, then all Hell breaks loose.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

.

.

.

_**I hope you're not making a habit of getting knocked out** _

What? What even happened?

_**Before or after you broke a vase over some poor kids head in reaction to the angel’s announcement, the fight broke out, and Mallory Force slammed you into a wall and knocked you out? I thought I taught you to handle things better than that** _

Why the Hell does the Force work in this town?! Actually, never mind. I can figure it out myself. I need to get out of this town

_**Something we both agree on, I forgot how annoying you were before you got good at magic** _

When I got out of bed today I-

_**Tonight, today implies that you woke up during daylight hours** _

That’s not the point! I fucking tripped!

_**So?** _

So? That’s not a thing that happens to me! And that made me realise that coming to this town was a huge ass mistake, even for me! I should have teleported away when I had the chance. Now we’re under fucking house arrest!

_**Wouldn’t be the first time you royally fucked up, and since you refuse to let anyone help you that time, I doubt you need help figuring this out now** _

First of all, bitch; we agreed that ‘that time’ never happened. Second of all, fuck you. _You_ were the reason I got locked in the archives with nothing else to do in the first place, so technically all their deaths are your fault. Also what the fuck did you do to Lucifer? He’s acting weird as fuck, and it's not just because he’s sober

_**So you can tell…** _

Yes, I can fucking tell that something is wrong with my best friend for the past 400 fucking years

_**It has nothing to do with you** _

_Wow_ , that’s not sketchy at all. The **fuck** did you ask him to do?

_**I believe you’ve been knocked out for long enough** _

.

.

.

Fucking hell, what happened?

Oh right, I started a fight. I look around and see that I'm back in the room that I started in, but this time it's Aria that’s knocked out beside me. Did I knock her out with a vase? No, there’s no ceramic shards in her hair. Who did I hit? Wait, that’s not important right now. I need tea.

I barely make it out of the room before a vase floats down the hallway past me.

“Wouldn’t want you breaking another one over some poor kids head” says Mallory.

“Fuck off” I reply walking past her only for her to freeze me in place with the Force.

“Let go of me! That’s cheating!” I scream.

“Last time I checked; teleporting away when you don’t want to deal with things is also cheating. Now were gonna have a talk about all of your bullshit lately” she replies. At this point I try struggling harder.

I deny anything is going on and say “I don’t know what you're talking about” before giving up. This is how I die; killed by some kid who’s not calm enough to be a Jedi…

 _Stop being so dramatic_ I think to myself. I tell that thought to fuck off.

“My god, is talking really that hard?” asks Mallory, clearly annoyed.

“Yes, so if you’ll save us both the awkwardness of you not truly understanding how magic, Hell, and all of that fun stuff works, and let me go…” I trail off hoping that she’ll leave me to my Hell induced shit mood.

“Not if you insist on dealing with it by killing people, breaking things, and destroying entire fucking towns” she replies.

I decide to avoid talking about it by correcting her “I didn’t break anything”

“All of the glass in the town we were in when your spell finished counts” she says.

“Could we just _not_ talk about this and continue letting me set entire towns on fire?” I ask.

“Holy shit! No! Is that how you dealt with thing in Hell?!” she screams.

“Actually, yes. That’s how everyone deals with shit in Hell. The part I’m from, everyone can use magic so breaking shit and killing people is no big deal; basically anyone who got killed, anything that got broken, could easily be fixed with magic. So if you’ll fuck off now, that would be wonderful!” I scream back.

“That doesn't explain your shit attitude. I'll leave you alone when I understand _that_ ” she answers.

"Personality" I reply sarcastically.

 

* * *

 

Mallory

I can't believe that I'm actually using the Force like this. I mean Jinx didn’t really give me any rules or anything but this feels wrong. I should stop this… _And just read her mind_. _I don’t have time to drag this conversation out._

“Get the **fuck** out of my mind” Cyanide growls.

How the _hell_ did she know? “Wha-“

“I might not be able to throw people around and all that shit using the Force, _I can do that easily enough with magic_ , but almost all magic users are aware of other forces out there. This includes the Force, so get the fuck out of my head before you see something you regret” she warns, rolling her eyes.

_If I had another artifact for every time that warning was ignored, I could probably un-doom your universe, Rabbit. This is your last warning…_

For a second I consider listening, then I remember that she can't use magic in this town, and from what I understand, she can't use the Force or anything else that would be able to stop me. With that thought I begin.

.

.

.

_**SCREEEEECH!!!** _

Ỳ̧̖̻̞̟͇̹͂ͫ͛̓ͅö͇̝́͒̓ͯ̓͊u̵ ̯͇̻̳̜͚̐ͮ̈́̃ṡ̻̺͓ͪh̢̘̲̑͋̽ͥo̠̼̞̤̙ͫ̈ͧ̊̇̿ȕ̦̱̣͐̾l͉̫̲̺̥̝̃́ͫͭd͈̜̳̼ͩ̆̀̍͆̎n̹͔̟̥ͩͬ̏ͮͩ’̶̝͖̭̖͚̪̠͛̓͛ͩț̝͍̋̉̉ͣ ̤͍̜̠ͣ́h̖̤͙̓̀a̶̹ͣ̄͂͒͛v̨͔̞̤͒̇ͤ̔ḛ̭̘͍ͨ̑̇ ̦̱̾͒ͪ̅̓́̈d͙̆̉͒̚o̳͓͚̞̿ͤ̑̃n̳̥̣̩ͩ͆͊̍̌e̷̫̮̝̻̙̔ ̸̠̖̲̬ͥ̊͋ͯ̐ṯ̶̣̏͆ͅh͑̀a̦̾̀͌ͅt̳͉̎̀͜…̸̫̳̲̣̗͕́̑̾͒ͭ̒͆  
---  
  
What the hell is this?

p̷̖̫̒͌ͯͧ͘͞l͉͖̮͚͋̾̔̀͒͂̔͝e̴͍̪̦͈̪͛ͪ̋̄̒͆́͘ḁ̛͕̠͇̭̖̳̔ͬ̑ͤ͆͑͐͝ș̵̬̳̲̦͇̥̭̒͆͂̑̇̃̊͋́eͩͪ̓ͪ̒͏̥͙̭̘̪̞ ̸̵͖̜͍̘̥̦̱̎̇ͪ͒͆͠l̯̯̘̲̈e̥̫̜͍͐̎̚ͅa̵̴̝̠̓͒ͪͫͣ̓̎͘v̂̒ͩ̓҉̠̜͇̱͈̜͙è̷̞̟̻̳ͅ…̵̶̛͚͔͚̪̥ͫ͂̾ͨͭ̈̂  
---  
  
“Explain what the hell is going on with you!” I scream, not sure if it was out loud or in her head. 

 

Ẃͨ̽͐͏̵͎̱̩̖̞̪̣H̨̗̙̺̃ͅy͇̜̤ͤͮͦͤ̈ͨ̀̓͝ ̶̻͈̩̄͊d̛͈̭ͫ͋̔ͥ̔̽͢ö͙͔̙ͯ̐̅͂ͪ̈͊͟ ̵̮͎̎ͮ̏͌ͭͥ̚p̠̪̩͗̅͌ͪ̒ͫ̒E̩̬̟̣͕͇̺ͦ̾ͤo̘̜ͮ̌̏̒͡P̛̹̙̩̬͕̑Ļ͇̟̺̩͈ͬ̐̐̏ͤ̂̍̚E͈̭̬̔̃̃ͩ͠͠ ̠̲͙̘̮̫͍͕̠̃͆̎́̀ͩ̉̚͜͡A͎̩ͥͭ̄͊͌̃̍͡͠l̺̬͈͔͓̲̍̊ͥ̽ͦw̬̝̬ͬͤ̎͛͋ͤ̏͜a̴͎͇͈̣̳͖ͫ̓̄̚y̛ͦ̄̅̇̀͆ͤ̍͑͏͈͚͓͚́s̵̨̤̺̱̟͍̫͈̟̄̀̈ͦ̚͠ ̵̠͎͍͎͎̱̹͋͋̓̔͟͝i̯͖̝͕͇̻̲ͪͤ̍͐ͦ̊̒͠n̵̨̼͑̍ͮͧ͝ͅS̅̑͊̌̔̐ͧ̚͏̶̬͖̣̘̹̺Ȉ͋͋͑͑ͨ͜͏̟͙̮́S͈͓͖̻̣̼͍͎ͨͭ̈͞t̷̳̦͙̳̮͗̇ͩͦͨ͟ͅ ̴̨̰͍̜̯̣͖ͬ͡ͅó̡̻̗̖̤͖̎̌N̵͚͉̯̽̅̏͠ ̟͎̜̜̦̞̅͘͡Ŗ͈͖͎̳̬ͣͮ̓͋e̸͚͎͓͖͉̱̹̾͂Å̶̒ͫ̆͋҉̤͕̤̫̘̤̘̝͢ͅd̡͇͔̹̺̤̺̳̃ͣͧi̛̝̺̣̠͎̮̺ͣ͑̆͗ͣ͟͡N̯̖̿ͩͫ̾ͭ́̃͋͂͝G̵̴̢̱̙̱̰̳͚͐ͭ̆́̅̎ ̼͋ͤͪ͛͛͆ͧ̿ͦ͟͡M̘ͩ̒͢y̴͚̙̟͕̥͍͖̺͋͞ ̑͐ͨ́̕͟͏̘̘̞̮͔̹͔̬̲m̴̹̠̖̬̌ͨi̞̣͚̳̻͍̭̹͐̏͠Ñ̫̣ͧ̀̈̀D̙̘̗̲̥͈̯̹͔̏̀͆ͥ ̮̩̰͕͉̳̲̂ͤͣ̎̆̈̌͛̀́w̸̸͍̥͗ͬ̎h̴̨̤͐̚ë̢̛̱̻̖̻́̆̉͟n̺̲̪̐̓ͧ̆͂̌͗̅ ̨ͬͥͯ̎͏̭̲̱͙͔̙̖̼I̲̘̤̪̩̯͔̟͈̔̑̌ͭ͌͑͝ ̛̹͚͙̇ͦͥ́͘Ç̹̱̠̾ͧͫͩ̿͋̈͢͞A̵̸̧̹͍̳̖͙͒ͩ̂ͬ̚N̺̜̰̟̺̑͛͒̒ͦ̅͜'̇̋̈́̽͂ͫ̏҉̨̖̩͖̤̤̪̖̘͝T̵̪̼̔ͮ̈͆ͪ̓͐ͯ̑ ̶̪̲̻̖̥͔͕̑̈̀͡S̷̡͈̝̞͔̿̍͋̇̌͟Ţ̛̞̟͎̗̯͉͙̟̓ͭ͗ͦ̏̎̉̚͘O̰̤ͬ̂͛ͤ͌ͩ̀͆͘P̻̙͉̣ͥ́̀́ ̷̵͕̼͇͇̦̭̠̥͈ͫ͊̎ͣ̔T̞͓̖̘̐ͥ̈́ͫ͌ͫ́ͥ͜H͓̙̻̞̤̼͇̀͗ͨͫ̔̿ͅͅḚ̡̟̖̗̩̑͆̅ͫ̆M̗ͮ͂̈̑̋̑ͣ?̭͈̻̣̜ͨ̋͜!̻͕̝ͣ͡

 

 After that, I see various images of her kingdom in Hell, and another place I’ve never been shown. 

 

L̢̧̨͙͖̖̯̰̮̱̼̻̮͇͙̖͙͊͑ͪ͒ͦ͊ͮ̒͌̏͂̈ͫ̍ͪ͞ͅͅĘ̵͈̰͇̯̜̞̜̙̼̬̞̭̖̬̻͆̃ͮ̓̿̀͘͡ͅȦ̵̢ͬͫ̀̎͂ͣ̃̑͆̎͐͒̕҉̳̱̗̭̯̪̙̣̟̭̜͎̯V̴̷͔̯͚̩̟͇͎̰̠̮ͦ̎̿̆̈ͯͩͥ̒̓̕̕͟Ė̶̖̫̗͉̼̻̱̠̝͈͕͓͉̲̦͚͉͎ͫ̐̆̏͢!̐̔̏̽͛̉̃̿͒ͣͭ̿̈ͣ̈́̈ͬ͏̸̢̻̰̳̣̜̻̮̯̤͓̹̭̝͚̬͇͚̗̹́!̢͙͔͕̝̘̰͎̜̰̥͋̾̾͆̿̀̕͞!̷̡͔̹̟̜͖̝̫͔̜̭͔̹ͨ̌̃ͦͪͣ̅̍́̈́͟

 

That last thought seems to echo all around before the noise gets worse and I'm forced to leave.

The last thing I see is the ground rushing towards me. After that, everything goes black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The explanation for why Cyanides thoughts are like that will come next chapter unless I think of something better


	28. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than usual, I am proud of this.

Mallory

.

.

.

What the actual hell was that. Is her mind always like that? No, if it's always like that then Angela wouldn’t dare read her mind; that actually hurt.

Well, I guess I have my answer, kind of. Nobody I know would be able to stay calm with what sounded like the Ancient Ones screaming in 13 languages in their head, and a few things I can't even begin to describe.

I don’t know what not being able to use magic has to do with any of it though. I guess I can ask about it next time I see her.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

I vaguely feel Mallory start searching through my thoughts, knowing that I can't stop her without magic, I have no choice but to let her. A part of me hopes that she listens to my warning, or at the very least, stays near the surface thoughts.

A few seconds later I feel her leave my head and she collapses. The sound of her hitting the ground is louder than I expect but everyone stays upstairs. I drag her downstairs and put her on one of the couches. She’s heavier that I expect but that could also just be the huge dress she's wearing.

 _S̸͈͓͚̱ͣ͑L̍͏̹̲͕i̱̜͖̰͖̠͇̗̍ͦ̾T̡̜͉̘̥͚̰̙̗̠ͨͣ͑͡ ̴̘̥̓͞h̴̨̩̬͔̟ͦ̉̂̇ḛ̶̳̳̫͕̰̘͛͐̔̂̀R̠̰͉̱̽̏̔̏ ͙̭͙̜̣̌̍͗́ͪ̾ͦ̏̔͟t̊̄̿̈̚̚͠͏͉͓͓̼̮̘̺̺̣̕h̰̱͍̙ͣ͛͒͐R̴̢͑͐̌̌͏̝̼̻̗o̵̡͕̩͈̝̞͙̙͕͆ͧͬ͂̆͌͗̃͞Å̬̪̹̯͇̦̣̐̎̊̓t̴͋̓͆̿̃ͤͣ̚҉̢̯̝͉_  screams a thought. I tell _that_ thought to fuck off but of course it doesn't.

But that pretty much makes the decision for me. I grab my bag, check my inventory, and head for the door. I'm about to leave before I think to leave a note and grab a lightsaber in case anything happens before I get out of this town.

 _Y̺̱͕̩͓̼͔͢o͍͍̮̩͢u̟̰̼̤̔͌̎͝’̦̞̰͉̜̄̏̀̚l̡͕̯͉͓̱̘͔ͪ̔ͥ̂l̞̹͙̥̜̤͋͒̓̀ ̝͚͖͔̯̐̐̾̒͗ͨ̒͡ͅp̺̤̻͗͂̅̀͌r͘o̙̬̠̻͖͑̀ͥ̇̀̽ḅ̹̲̭̼͍͊̆̀̍̂̇̃ǎ̘ͯbͬ͛͝l̦̳̬̣̿͑ỷ̤͉̘̰̝̃̋ͅ ̒̀̓̒̐e̲̭̭ͦ̿ͥͯ̚n̥͇̤̫̭̲ͤ͘ͅd̪̟̄ͣͮ̈ͧ̄ͤ ̨̖̦̳̟̳̳͌u̞̜̣̲̤̖̹͗p͚̙̤͇̌ͪ͋͋͑̑ ̺̠̪̜̬̯̎̅̿̉́̔̇ḍ͎̇̍ͮͦ̏͟í͍̗̺̮̇͛̒s̪͚̼̩͚̞ͤ̈m͓͠ḛ͕͞m̞̦̝̗͍̞̽͡b̥̞̳͍̝͌̓̊ͯ̌͊e̯̗̝̅͊ͦ̔̄ͫͫ͠ͅr͓̣̬̹̫̪̳̽̓î̻͉̪̠̘̱̰̅̈̓͟n̨̙̥̼͌̆ͨ̆g̗͙ͩ͛ͬ̓̏̽͑͟ ̵̳̩͉̤͔̻̲̏̐̓̀ͭy̮̲̹͑̈̂ͬ̚͢ȏ̺͎͉̠͌̅̅̏͂ͧu͚̫̟͇ͨ͑͐ͧ̏r̮̠̯̠͐͂ͭ͑͡ş̜̼̣̼̲̱ͯ͗ͮͫe̫̩̘͗̍̃ͅl͍̦͈͓̙͇͚f̖̬̪͉͇̙͍͗̃̌̾̑ ̗̱̱̠͚̉ͨ͡b̻̥͇́̀͂ͧ͆͜e̢͍̐̾̿̋f͔̝̦̳̙̝̥͝o̫̪̲̘͉͝r̵̹̠̳̥̼̪͛̃ȅ̙̳̹̫́ͦ̋̈́ͮ̊ͅ ̓́̇͏̱͎̝̟͎a̭̦̹̒̇̊͂c̭̺̜͕͓̔͟ț̻͉͇ṳ̡̯̳̲̐ͯ̄́̽̋ͣa̪̹͎ͯ̂ͩ̇̐̉̀l͙͓͍̹̹̚͟ḻ̞͍̣̬y͓̯̼͇̜̰ͮ͆̓̔ ̷̰̻̘̤̪͙͇͌d̹̈̏e͔̟̝͐f̼̭͚̽̂ͫ̿̒͘e͚̤̲̗̦̮̍͞a̤̲̥ͦ̓̆ͯ̈́͂t̻̼̤͉̫͉͆̊̿i̭̖̯ņ̜̩̇̿g̞͓̯̗̣͐ͨ͘ ̴̳ͫ̋̆͂̉a͍̠͓͔ͬ̈́ͮ̋̾͊n͌̾̎҉̰͔̥͍͖̰ ̺ͬͬ̓͐̾̾ͥe͔ͮͣ̀͌ͣ̚͝ñ̃͐ͯ͑eͦ̅ͣ̒͗ͥm̬̣͒ͤ̃̇ͭ͗̽ỵ͑ͣ͒̆_. I know this, but tell that thought to fuck off as well, then I head out.

And holy shit! What the fuck is wrong with this town?! It looks like some horrible, glowing, neon clusterfuck, I hope this is just because the whole game is being torn apart _~~but somehow, I know it's not~~_. With that horrible image in my head, I pull up the hood of my cloak and wave over a cab.

 

* * *

 

Mika

I hear a thud downstairs; I consider heading down to check on them but then I would have to put down my book. I assume that Mallory got frustrated and knocked Cyanide out again. Not surprising, Mallory isn't the most patient person.

After 15 minutes I decide to go check on them, Mallory should be back by now…

What the… I can't be seeing this right. I see Mallory passed out on the couch, Cyanide nowhere to be seen, and what looks like a message carved into the wall with a lightsaber. I quickly head down the stairs and wake Mallory.

“What's…going on? Mika?” she asks, obviously disoriented.

“What the hell happened?” I ask.

“Cyanide…her mind is such an absolute disaster. I couldn’t…I think she knocked me out. I'm not even sure if it was on purpose. The _chaos_ …”

At this point I turn to the wall to read the message.

 

Life sucks without magic. Falling down stairs hurts.

Off to go set things on fire with magic outside of this shit town. Be back in about 5-ish days, unless I decide to ditch you for good

Text me when we’re leaving this shit town

~ Cyanide

 

I turn to Mallory who screams “What the fuck! We need to go get her!”

I’m about to call everyone down but then I remember something. The magic users all suck at pretty much everything without magic. I calm her down and remind her of this.

“It's 32 degrees and sunny out”

“So?” she replies.

“Her outfit is mostly black, dark grey, and metal bits. She probably got heat stroke before she could get too far, we should probably check the hospital's first” I finish.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

“We villagers don’t leave the town; I will drop you off here” says the cab driver.

“How much further to the town border?” I ask.

“About a 10-minute walk if you follow that path. It's awfully bright out. Are you sure you want to walk around in this hear in _that_ , miss?” he asks.

I decided that that’s it! **Fuck this! I’ve had enough of being questioned today!** I take out the lightsaber and cut the driver's head off before taking an umbrella out of my inventory and heading for the path.

The cab driver made a good call, it's really bright today. I vaguely wonder whose lightsaber I took anyways…

 

15 Minutes Later

10 minutes my ass. I’ve been walking for like an hour and this fucking path is still going.

I think I see a sign up ahead.

 

**TOWN BORDER**

**MAGIC WILL NOT WORK BEYOND THIS POINT**

**~~YOU WIZARD SCUM~~ **

 

 _Wow, that’s not racist at all…_ But still, that sign needs to be a **lot** more visible. Looks like I’m here, I hope the town border doesn't knock me out when I leave too. Now that I think about it, leaving alone might have been a bad idea.

And right when I think that, I hear a howl. I turn to my left and see a large pack of wolves staring back at me from the hills. I turn to head back for the car but it's gone, along with the body of the taxi driver; well there goes plan #2. I look at the lightsaber I’m holding…

With that, I turn and start heading for the border. If I’m gonna get mauled by wolves, I sure as fuck don’t want to be awake for it.

I start walking faster and as soon as I pass the sign, I feel my magic return to me all at once. It's quite overwhelming.

G̮̻̭͈̖̯͊ͪ͋ͫ͐̄o̫͕̬̥͙͙̟ͣͦ̃͌̈́̚̕͢ṋ̺̦̜̪̬̖̓̐̐ͪ̾̓̃͝͞n̩̝̣̙̺̲̩̮̄ͩ̽͗ͨ̔͟ͅa̵̡̗ͨ͂ͯ͑͝ ̵̨͔̰͍̪̟̦̹̬̏̽̇͡b̢̲ͫ̎ͫl̸̢̼̍a̡̡͍ͥͫ̇͌̀ͥ̄̾̀c̺̬͓ͥ̽ͫ͗ͫ̈͠͝ͅͅͅk̢̤̼͎̞̜̟̥̙͕̾͌ ̼̬̖̞͈͖̗̭ͫ́̂̔͆̀ͨͨ͞ǫ̝̭̯̜̞̜͍͌̃ͦͫ͢͜ü̱̼͍̯̮̣̐̒́ͧ̋ͤt̖̣͖͂ͬ̂̌͛͝ ̧̹͙̹̖̬͚̂͑̽͊̉̉͂̉̂͘͡ḁ̮͕̪̮͔̟̤̾̀̿ͥ̀͑͞ģ͛͏͈̦̫̹̥a̡͐ͮͣ͗҉͉̹̻̝̥̳̣̟ͅi̷̝̩͈̪̪͙̞ͬ͑̉̅͢n̺̮͈̤̹̼̽̏͑̄ͪͩ̒̌̍̕?̷̷͍͚̰̻͂ ͩ̋̔҉͙͓̞͚̘͟A̶̮̤ͤͪͩͩ̅ͦ̊̍l̷̼̪̜͉̩͍̞̰ͪ͑̔ͮ̀r̮̭̯͈͇̘̈́̓̃͊ͧe̴̠̠͎̜̱ͮ̀à̢̢̜̰̖͇̇ͥ̽̾̈́ͤ͒̕d͈͙̙͋̂̃̽͢͞͞y̼͙͕͑̊̾͌͢?͎̲̦̙̘̪̺̦̐̇̇ͮ͌ͬ͗́ͣ͝

_Fuck off_

…

Good… What to do now…I guess I could go exploring. I take out my phone and check the map.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer

I hear a scream from downstairs. Hehe, Cyanide probably threw her tea all over Mallory. ‘ _I'm sick of her shit, I'm gonna do something about it_ ’ yeah right.

I go back to looking at the map to find a place to put my magic squid fountain.

 

Half An Hour Later

I can't believe Cyanide knocked Mallory out and ran without telling me. I don’t wanna deal with this shit town and the chaos in my head by myself.

thEn EScapE toO

 _Real helpful_ , maybe I will, but first I have to wait for these fuckers to go to sleep.

“Lucifer, pay attention! She didn’t end up in the hospital from heatstroke, where the hell would she go?” asks Mallory.

“Of course she wouldn’t, she's probably smarter than all of you fuckers combined. And how the fuck would I know where she went?!” I reply. Fuck, that came out a _lot_ louder than it was supposed to.

“Oh really, then why doesn't she help us figure out strategies to stop Chronos from destroying this world?” asks Mallory.

“Have you really given her any reason to? Or really any of us to other than the fact that we’re stuck here and if this world gets destroyed, we’ll all die with it? Actually, I’m surprised that nobody's left sooner” asks Caramel.

“I shouldn’t need to! And we _are_ all stuck here, that should be reason enough to help” yells Mallory.

I turn to look around for someone to stop this but Violetta and Aria are both watching something on a laptop and doing their best to avoid this, August is in the kitchen loudly making some kind of food, also avoiding this, Derrek and Castor are watching from the second floor, Fumei is nowhere to be seen, and Natallia and Noire are...gone… Fuck, does this mean I have to break this up?

Lykos speaks up before I can “So what are we gonna do, kill her?”

“No, someone just need to drag her back to this house, literally if it comes down to it!” answers Mallory.

“This is bat shit insane, Mallory, calm down. She left because magic users don’t do well without magic” says Mika, calmly.

Just as he finishes saying that, there’s a scream and the sound of dishes breaking from the kitchen. “See?” he says waving a hand in the direction of the kitchen.

“He has a point; can we stop treating this like she left to join Chronos?” asks Asher.

“Actually, I hope that happens” comments Angela.

“Of course you would” I reply, mildly annoyed.

She launches into an explanation “From what I know about her from my investigations for all the shit she’s don-“

Asher cuts her off “Stalking” Wow, he's one to talk.

“As I was saying” she continues. “From what I’ve seen, I can guess she would cause absolute chaos if she joined Chronos. Maybe we should convince her to join them, wait for something he does to piss her off, and sit back with a bag of popcorn while they kill each other. Not like it would take too long. I’ve only been an admin for about 2 years but from what I can tell, Chronos can be pretty annoying and Candice was never the most patient person. Maybe we would be better off if she joined them” she finishes.

“What makes you think she would join them? From your description, she’s not exactly what anyone could consider a team player. Bailing on us is probably the end of what she would do about all of this” Mika says. Like he would know; he's only know us for a few days.

“I thought we said we weren’t treating this like she left us” I comment to myself.

“We’re not, Mallory, Angela, drop it. Angela, Lykos, Castor, Derrek, and I will go get her. You can still use the Force in this town, so you can stay and make sure nobody else leaves” Mika says before heading for the door.

“Fine, I’ll start planning for our trip to retrieve the artifact. The map says she's just outside the town, try to be back within 3 hours” Mallory says from her spot on the couch.

With nothing else to do, I head to the library. It's either read or sleep. Without my magic, anything else would just end badly.

SeT tHe buLiDiNg oN fiRE ANd ESCapE!

A bit extreme, but maybe as a last resort. Gods, the annoying ass voices... I’ll probably be fine if Cyanide comes back…she has to deal with this too. That fucking spell, **this fucking curse!** Why can't it fuck off along with my magic?

I smell something on fire and realise that I took out Noires lightsaber and was burning a line in the wall as I walked by. Well, I guess it would be easy enough to set the building on fire and escape… but first I should grab some things.

 

30 Minutes Later

I check one more time before sneaking out the window. I have Noire’s lightsaber and laser guns in my inventory along with my spell book and wand. After checking one more time, I leave. I walk about two blocks away before carjacking someone and heading towards the direction of the town border.

When I get to the town border, I ditch the car. When I get out of the town, I can teleport, so there really wouldn’t be a point to taking the car. I see a sign up ahead.

 

**TOWN BORDER**

**MAGIC WILL NOT WORK BEYOND THIS POINT**

**~~YOU WIZARD SCUM~~ **

 

Wow, that’s hella racist. I take out the gun and fire at it a few times. I walk past the sign and feel all my magic return to me. Time to find Cyanide and chew her out for ditching me in that shit town.

ReVENgE?

_No, fuck off._

…

Fine, until next time~

Before I can open the map to find her, she appears in front of me, grabs me, and the next thing I know, we’re running through some forest.

“Yo, what the Hell?! Why’d you ditch me in that shit town?” I ask, trying to keep up with her.

“Hurry up, we’re being tracked. I'll explain everything when we won't be found! It should be somewhere around here” she answers, pulling me along.

I'm about to ask where but before I can get the question out, I'm being dragged through a rip in time and we land outside of this murder cabin looking building. We pick ourselves up and head inside.

“Are you gonna explain now?” I ask. I feel like I already know the answer though.

She takes a deep breath and says “It's been a long ass time since I’ve had to deal with that chaos at full power. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to leave, but then Mallory tried to read my mind and the fact that my thoughts are always a scrambled mess and it's only made worse without magic knocked her out. That shouldn’t have happened, so it pretty much made the decision for me, so I grabbed my shit and ran. I would have told you but it was kind of a heat of the moment decision”

Exactly as I thought.

“Like hell that’s what you thought. You thought that I snuck out the back door and ran off back to Hell” she says, calling me out on that thought.

“Oh god, now you're reading minds too?” I ask.

“I’ll stop when you tell me what Death wanted from you” she answers.

“He didn’t ask for anything, just told me some shit” I lie while trying to think of a better excuse.

“Yeah, try again. I can read minds, remember? Since you're my friend, I’m not gonna scramble your brain by searching through your memories. But I _will_ know if you're lying” she replies.

“He told me not to tell you” I try. _Shit_ , that sounds sketchy as hell.

“Dude, that’s worse. I’ve read enough books to know that shit like this never ends well. The fuck did he want?” she asks again.

She brings up a good point… “Alright, basically he knew that you have been planning to get back to Hell and he wanted me to grab some book that’s in this world and bring it to him. He didn’t tell me what was in it. Only that I would know it when I saw it and that I shouldn’t read it, and that I should keep it away from you”

For a while, she doesn't say anything. Just drinks her tea. Wait… when did she get that?

 

* * *

 

Taeliel

I hear an alert go off on my phone. It would appear that Cyanide went back to the café, and she was followed… Well, I need to go check on that. I quickly take a left and run right into Chronos.

_Fucking great_

“Taeliel, just the guy I was looking for. It would appear that one of the prisoners has woken up. Come with me, we need to brainwash her. I have a great idea for what to do next!” he says all in one breath.

Ugh, kill one loudmouth and another, more powerful one will take its place. I decide to follow him, hoping to get this over with quickly. He leads me to his throne room ~~egotistical jackass~~. The fuck does he even need a throne room for?

He opens the doors and I expect to see another high level player that went into hiding. What I don’t expect to see is Katalina trapped inside a hacked stun trap.

“What the fu-“

“Yes, the players managed to catch a group of them. The others got away but they brought back one of my admins; what's her name. Now I need you to brainwash her. Anything else?” he says, ~~like an asshole~~. I swear, I would have left already if I know he wouldn’t find me, and could find someone to completely undo the mind control spell he put on me. Thank god Sefiya was the magically gifted one.

 _Her name is Katalina_ I correct him in my mind; I would correct him out loud but I remember what happened to the player that did, the poor guy didn’t know what hit him.

I quickly go through the brainwashing spell and start heading to the exit.

“Where do you think you're going?” asks the asshole. I freeze, thinking for a second that he managed to learn the mind reading hack. But he doesn't say anything, waiting for an answer.

“Out, I was trying to read but the people here can't shut up to save their lives, even in the library” I try my best to look annoyed, it's not hard, the people here are actually really annoying.

“It's quiet here, stay” he demands.

Thinking quickly, I agree before taking out my book and lighting a cigarette; knowing how much Chronos hates the smell.

“Holy shit, don’t fucking smoke in my throne room” he complains.

“Can I leave then?” I ask.

“Fine, just _take_ that outside” he answers quickly.

I quickly head for the door, then down the hall, then straight for the teleporters.

 

At The Forest

Alright, the Rip in Time should be around here somewhere… There it is. I see the café up ahead, and head inside.

I see Cyanide and some other guy.

-Lucifer- Level: ???

“Oh, and I have a question. Where the fuck are we?” he asks, looking around at the cafe, which admittedly looks like a murder cabin in the woods.

“I was told that this was some café before the chunk of code for this part of the forest was destroyed” Cyanide answers, climbing over the counter to grab a few snacks.

“Told? By who?” he asks.

“By me. Who the hell are you” I grab my staff out of my inventory preparing for a fight.


	29. Found

Taeliel

Cyanide also pulls her staff from her inventory. “Is that an actual question or more of your crazy brainwashed bullshit?”

“I'm not brainwashed!” I answer.

“That’s exactly what a crazy brainwashed person would say!” yells Cyanide's friend.

 

2 Hours Later

Wow, that was _not_ what I was expecting. As it turns out, magic won't work inside the café. More surprising, they had lightsabers and blasters. Less surprisingly, the magic users weren’t very good at using them. Thankfully the fight didn’t last long after Cyanide nearly cut off Lucifer’s arm after he nearly shot her. I’m not sure how the fuck that fight managed to turn into a three way…

As I pull my pants back on, I try to assess the damage. Scorch marks in the wall, a few broken tables, broken chairs, something managed to rip the chandelier out of the ceiling, and I’m pretty sure Cyanide managed to give me a concussion with her staff before remembering that she had a lightsaber with her.

I look to Cyanide, who’s hopped behind the counter and appears to be making some kind of glowing blue drink. I'm about to ask her what it is but she hands me a glass before I can ask.

“Alright, now that that’s done, I actually have some questions for you”

“Well, this can't be good. What do you need to know?” I ask.

“You're clearly under some kind of brainwashing spell or something like it, why the crap job on it?” she asks.

“Chronos isn't known for his magic skill, that was Sefiya. He actually had Kiella do it, Kiella isn't very good at magic, nowhere near anyone in this café. I would say she’s a lot like your own student, with a lot less potential of course” I answer.

“So this Chronos guy, he’s basically god here?” she asks.

“Yeah”

“So was Sefiya, who was his co-god or something, right?”

“Yeah, going somewhere with this?” I ask.

“So if he’s pretty much immortal, wouldn’t it imply that so was Sefiya. Why is everyone else so sure that she's dead?” she asks, taking a sip of her drink, which is now glowing purple.

“Because if she was alive, this ‘apocalypse’ wouldn’t be happening. And there’s been no trace of her since they fought a year ago”

“But did anyone actually see her die?” she asks.

“No, but even if she was alive, what use would that be?” I ask.

“If she's alive, then she can tell us where the core is, and we can hide it in Hell. If she's not, that means Chronos can be killed too” she explains.

…She's right. There have been theories about the first part but I can't believe that the second part never occurred to me. I look down at my drink, it appears to be in the process of turning from pink to red.

“One more question, can you admins actually be killed?” she asks.

“Not easily, the body and soul both need to be destroyed” I answer, unsure of where this is going.

“I see” she says quietly.

“Planning to kill Angela next?” I laugh before I feel Chronos’ influence taking over again. I look down at my drink, it's red now.

**_KILL_ **

I reach to grab her but I realise that I can't move. Then it registers, as I see her holding the other end of the lightsaber sticking out of my chest, why she asked if I could be killed easily.

And as quickly as it came, Chronos’ influence leaves me, and I get to feel the full extent of the fear as she pulls it out of my chest and swings the lightsaber towards my neck and everything goes black.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

We may not have gotten along but my parents and their disaster have definitely created some useful things. That potion is definitely one of them. I look down at the glowing red drink and broken glass next to Tael’s body. I deactivate the lightsaber and put it back in my inventory. I make sure to pick up his head and bring it with me when I go to wake Lucifer. I wasn’t there to see what happened with the first guy but I ain’t taking any chances with this.

 

* * *

 

Mika

I watch take another look at the map, not believing what I saw. Lucifer had somehow managed to sneak out past Mallory, Cyanide reappeared for like a minute, they teleported back to the forest of the last town we were in, and then disappeared again. As annoying as that is, we have an approximate location now.

I gather the group, we steal a car, and we start heading towards where they disappeared.

 

2 Hours Later

With all the shit that’s been happening lately, I'm actually surprised that nothing bad happened on the way here. With any luck that’ll hold until we finish gathering the artifacts and find a way to stop Chronos.

“This is the exact spot they were when they disappeared, shouldn’t there be something here?” asks Derrek.

“There is something going on. I can't hear anyones thoughts” replies Angela, looking around the area.

“Oh no, how ever will we survive without you monitoring our every thought?” Lykos asks sarcastically.

“Hey, why don’t you back off!?” she answers, still looking around for something.

Why is this happening now? “Could we not have a major falling out before we even find the first artifact? Angela, what are you looking for?” I ask. They both shut up.

“Chronos explained to me when I first got here, when people are brought over, some of the more interesting aspects of their world are brought over along with them. There’s a few things that can cause the thing we just saw, the most likely one of those would be a Rip in Time” she answers.

“What do they look like?” asks Derrek.

“Usually they have a kind of glowing aura around them. Clearly this one doesn't” she answers.

“Ok, I'll help look-“

“Don’t bother, only those that can use magic properly can find the invisible ones, and as much as I hate to admit it, Candice would have been able to find it relatively easily. Now stop distracting me!” she snaps.

Derek looks like he has something to say but I silence him with a glare.

“Found it! I warn you, due to some of the properties of theses kinds of places, magic will be visible. Even to those of you who can't use it at all” She starts walking towards the edge of the clearing, and then disappears.

“What the fuck?!” shouts Castor.

I ignore him and follow Angela’s lead.

I’m not sure what I expected to see when I went through the Rip in Time, but this wasn’t it. The whole place has a faint glow to it. I turn to look at Angela, who has a kind of smooth, spiraling blue light flowing around her. Is this what she meant by being able to see magic?

I see a path and follow it up to a building that looks almost familiar. Cyanide is sitting outside of it, almost like she was waiting for someone, and she’s holding something.

As I come closer, I see that it's a severed head. The severed head of the admin who kept changing his name. What was it when this happened?

 _His name was Tael_ answers a voice in my head

What the fuck?!

“Calm your shit, it's just me” laughs Cyanide. It's a creepy image, her laughing, holding Tael’s severed head, with her magic crackling around her.

“Candice, what the hell! Are you seriously going to start collecting severed heads now?!” screams Angela.

“Motherfucker, I have my reasons. Wouldn’t expect your council disaster to understand” answers Cyanide, surprisingly calm compared to what Mallory described.

Looking at them, the difference between them is even more obvious. While Angela’s magic is light blue, smooth and controlled, Cyanide's is the exact opposite; dark, crackling, with sparks of colour, it's almost like it's alive.

And when Angela goes to try and grab Cyanide and gets thrown across the clearing, by what I guess is what they call telekinetics, it's even more unnerving than usual. Normally the magic behind it would be invisible, and now I’m glad it usually is.

“The fuck is going on?” Lucifer asks, coming out of the café. Lucifer’s magic has a purple, fire like appearance, which _really_ doesn't seem like him.

“We’ve been found” Cyanide answers casually.

“Cool severed head, wait does that mean he’s dead?” he asks

“For now” she answers.

“For now?” he asks.

“Apparently admins weren’t created to be killed easily” she answers.

“We’re not. And you need to come back to the house” I Say.

They both turn to us, almost like they forgot we were here.

“Why?” asks Lucifer.

“Because if we let you wander around on your own, you’d get picked of by Chronos one by one” answers Lykos angrily, like it should be obvious.

“Hey genius, it's not like it’d be even easier to kill of a group of magic users that can't use magic!” Cyanide says sarcastically.

I tell her “We have the entire town on alert, that won't happen”

“We’re being protected by NPCs? _That_ couldn’t possibly go wrong” Cyanide says sarcastically.

“They were told to keep watch, and scream if they get attacked” answers Angela.

“Wow, helpful” Cyanide says sarcastically.

Angela looks like she has something to say but was cut off by someone else coming into the clearing. I turn to look at who it is.

...

**…Katalina**

“Chronos was wondering why the body wasn’t reanimating. This would explain it. I’m here to collect the body” she says, making her way past everyone and straight towards the café.

Then she stops, in front of Cyanide who was still holding Tael’s head.

“Give me the head, and the rest of the body as well” she says.

“No, I killed him, I’m keeping it as a trophy” Cyanide replies, laughing.

“It belongs to Chronos” Katalina says, pointing a gun at Cyanide's head.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

I hand the severed head to Lucifer.

“Why do people always try to shoot me? It never fuuucking woooooorks” I teleport out of the way before she can actually pull the trigger. Which she does, but thankfully too late.

“See?” I ask from down the path behind her. She _predictably_ turns around and fires again.

“But feel free to keep trying!” I taunt from the roof of the café.

As the woman keeps trying to shoot me, I wonder to myself, _can I turn Angela’s death into collateral damage?_ I teleport in front of Angela and the woman keeps firing. Unfortunately, Angela dodges too.

I'm getting bored of this. It seems that Mika had the same thought when he puts his gun to the back of the woman’s head. He must have snuck up on her while she was busy trying to shoot me. I was expecting him to kill her but he tries to knock her out instead. It doesn't work and she turns and shoots him in the chest before turning her attention to the people that came with him. She manages to shoot Lykos and Castor in the head before turning her attention back to Mika who’s trying to get away. And for once, Angela is actually useful, she grabs Mika and teleports them both out of the clearing, probably into the forest.

It takes me a second before I remember that we’re in the middle of a fight, when I do, I try to grab her with my telekinetics. But she just shakes it off. That annoys me, but _does_  tell me something important; she’s not completely immune to magic. Thinking quickly, I rip a tree out of the ground and whip it at her, this distracts her long enough for me to hit her with a death spell, taking her down.

I’m not sure how long she’s gonna stay dead, so I try to take away her gun, but it appears to have the same charm on it that the other guy did because it doesn't work. I would grab her and move her away from her gun but for some reason, it still doesn't work. I turn around to Lucifer, who is braiding Tael’s hair. “Yo, go take her gun”

“Fuck no, I don’t wanna get shot when she comes back to life. Why don’t you just grab it from here?” he asks.

“Would if I could, but it has the same charm on it as the other admin” I answer.

“Rock paper scissors, loser has to go get it” he says.

“Fine” I agree.

 

Many Rematches Later

“Fuck, fine! I’ll go get it!” Not wanting to drag this out any longer. I walk toward her body to take away her gun and any other weapons she might have on her. When I get within distance to take away her gun, she opens her eyes.

 _Shit!_ I barely manage to dodge her first shot; I decide to try to grab her gun away from her. Turns out that doing that is a lot harder than people make it look. And when I trip over one of the chains on her coat, she manages to hit me over the head with her gun.

When the stars clear from my vision, I’m staring down the barrel of her gun. My head is still spinning and I can't focus enough to teleport away.

“Any last words, warlock?” she asks arrogantly.

“I can think of a few places you can go shove your gun” I try to focus and teleport away, but I still can't.  **Fuck.** I actually don't know what to do...

The next thing I know, she's being tackled to the ground by Lucifer’s Plant Dragon.


	30. Back To The Shitty Town and Feels

Lucifer

Holy shit, these thing really _do_ have the worst timing. I look up from Tael’s severed head as the woman gets up at the worst possible time and nearly shoots Cyanide. Then I watch in horror as Cyanide decides to try and grab the gun away from the woman instead of teleporting away, and gets knocked out for a few seconds. Thankfully, I snap out of it quickly and summon my plant dragon, just in time to save Cyanide from getting shot in the head.

I command my dragon to rip off the woman’s head but not to eat it, before walking over to check on Cyanide.

“Now we have 2 severed heads, I guess we _are_ starting a collection” she laughs.

“What the actual fuck were you trying to do there?!” I scream.

“Something that looks a _lot_ easier than it actually is” she answers, picking up the gun that the admin dropped when her head was ripped off.

“Oh, it's enchanted. That’s why I couldn’t grab it earlier, but if I just change this symbol here…” she scratches something into the side of the gun, and fires it at the building before redirecting the energy into the forest.

“What?” I just stare, confused.

“Concentrated magic, this woman is a magic user” she says.

“And you didn’t just do that earlier because…?”

“Magic and lasers look very similar. Magic I can stop easily; lasers are a bit harder to stop. I wasn’t about to take that risk in the middle of a fight” she answers before offering me the gun. I don’t want it, so I hand it back and she puts it into her inventory.

“Since when do you use guns?” I ask.

“I don’t but Samhain does. It's a gift for when I get back to Hell” she answers.

I’m about to ask how she plans on getting back to Hell but then Angela appears in front of us and throws some kind of glittering powder in our faces and the world goes blurry before fading to black.

 

* * *

 

Angela

After Lykos and Castor get shot, I suddenly remember how terrifying Katalina was in training, and practice battles. Instead of trying to fight her immediately, I decide to grab Mika and teleport us both away from the fight.

I guess I’ll have to trust the fight to those two while I heal Mika. Thank god, the bullet missed most of the vitals.

 

20 Minutes Later

I go back to the clearing to see Katalina’s severed head in the mouth of a large green dragon. Then I see Cyanide taking the head and putting it into some kind of spell, turning it into a crystal, putting it into her inventory and then doing the same with the body. _And suddenly I’m wondering about that diamond necklace she’s wearing._ I shake this off, seeing this as a chance to catch them off guard, I teleport in front of them and throw a handful of sedative powder in both their faces.

Mika walks into the clearing a few minutes later.

“How did you manage that?” he asks gesturing to Candice and Lucifer unconscious on the ground.

“Council grade sedative powder. I’m running out of it but I should have more than enough to keep them unconscious until we get back to the town” I answer.

“What about the other two?” he asks.

“Two clean shots in the head” I answer.

“I see” He grabs Candice and Lucifer and turns to head back to the town. I put my arm around him to try and comfort him, he doesn’t shrug me off, we head back in silence.

 

2 Hours Later

We make it back to the town without incident. Before crossing the border, I place an enchantment on both of them to block out the chaos from the curse. I tell myself it's to prevent another escape while the non magic users are gone, **not** because we used to be friends. I manage to keep myself conscious going through the town border this time.

When we get back to the house and the whole room goes silent.

“Well, fuck this day. I’m gonna go take a shower, and sleep this day off. Don’t bother me unless we’re under attack” says Mika, dropping Cyanide and Lucifer on the couch before heading upstairs.

After he’s out of earshot Mallory asks “What the actual hell happened?”

I explain to her that Candice and Lucifer didn’t turn on us, and how we got ambushed by Katalina, who was not dead as we originally thought. And while we did lose two party members, we got two admins back, we just need to undo the brainwashing.

After explaining the situation, I decide to follow Mika’s example and sleep this day off.

.

.

.

_Oh gods, not this dream again._

I look around and as I suspected, I’m back in the magic school, in my first years as an investigator for the council. I turn around to see Candice Nocturne, 10 years old at the time.

“But Ms. Fyre, if I wasn’t supposed to be in there, then why wasn’t the door locked?” she asks. This was the first time a council member brought her to me after finding her hiding amongst the shelves of the archives.

“You're right, the door should have been locked, but the better question is, why were you hiding in there?” I asked.

“Because I hate this place, the people are all horrible, and my parents abandoned me here” she answers, looking like she was about to cry.

“Your parents didn’t abandon you, they brought you here so you could learn to make friends on your own” I try. But I still couldn’t understand at the time, why the royal family thought it would help their reputation to bring their child to such a plain school, in such a remote location.

I blink and scene changes. Candice is 12 now, this time she was sent to me after throwing a group of students out a window with her telekinetic powers. I suspected I already knew why. But I had to ask anyways, if only for the records.

“They won't leave me alone, it's not my fault they're too stupid to keep up with me!” she yells. She was extremely gifted and had skipped 2 years by this time. It made her stand out and people clearly didn’t like that.

I blink and the scene changes again. She was 15 now and got along horribly with most of the population of the school. I remember this day very clearly. Council members were starting to get assassinated and Candice had come to school with a book from the archives that day. That was also a week before she burned the school down.

“Angela, how old do I have to be to be allowed to leave this place?” she asked, staring out the window of my office.

“You’ve already skipped 4 years, you're almost done. Why would you want to leave?” I asked, but even then I already knew the answer.

“I hate it here, I hate everyone, and they all hate me! I should have tried harder to convince my parents to just let me be home schooled like my friends after the first year here. I thought it would get easier but it didn’t, I just want to go home and never think of this place again!” she screamed, throwing her spell book through the glass window of my office. She was crying again.

I took her off of school grounds that day, to a nearby town. She seemed happier than she had been in a long time. She even hugged me when I asked if she felt better. After the horror stories of her setting people on fire and breaking bones of those who even got near her, it meant a lot.

I blinked and the scene changed again. Candice was 16 now, but this time we weren’t in my office. This time, we were in the councils main building. She and small group of people had been found guilty for the assassinations of the council members that played key roles in the running of that school and she was at the head of it, claiming that the Magic Council was corrupt. I didn’t want to believe that she was involved with any of this, but the evidence was all there. I didn’t want to testify against her but as a member of the Magic Council, I had no choice.

I thought that there was no way that her family would let their child be executed but I was wrong.

One look into her eyes, and it was clear that none of us would ever be forgiven.

I blink and the scene changes one last time, to the day of the Council Massacre. She killed every member involved in her execution except for me, she didn’t even look at me as she walked out of the council building.

.

.

.

I wake with a start, knowing I wouldn’t get any sleep after that, I head downstairs to make myself a cup of tea. Candice is gone now, probably sulking in her room. That’s good, I really don’t want to deal with her so soon after that nightmare. Ever since then, she’s tried her hardest to be a major thorn in the council’s side; burning down buildings, killing members, stealing ingredients and artifacts. She’s been successful and we collectively hate her.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

I wake up on the couch of the house we were staying in. Fuck, what the Hell happened? I look around and notice Mallory, she looks like she has something to say but I quickly get up and walk upstairs to my room and close the door behind me before she can say it.

I look around and realise that I have nothing to do, I decide to take out my laptop and find something to read.

 

6 Hours Later

Someone’s knocking at the door. I realise I’ve probably been really quiet for a while.

I ignore them. They try knocking again.

“I’m not dead so fuck off!” I yell in the direction of the door, going back to my reading.

“Cyanide, stop sulking and come out of there you emo fuck!” yells Mallory.

“I’m not sulking; I’m reading” I yell back.

“Yes, _while sulking_. _My_ powers still work in this town” she says.

“Just let me read in peace” I reply.

“No, we’re talking, you can let me in or we can be loud enough for everyone else to hear us” she yells.

I open the door and let her in

“I’m not sulking, the fuck do you want?” I ask.

“A lot of things”

“Well, I just decapitated a friend, nearly got killed, had a handful of council pixie dust thrown in my face, and woke up I back in this shit town. So for once, I’m not in the mood” I say, not even looking up from my screen.

“Not _those_ kinds of things, my god” she face palms.

“I’m not giving you my friends severed head”

“Not here for severed heads, I actually want to apologize for earlier” she says. That actually surprises me.

“Yeah, a lot of shit’s been happening and I over reacted. Anyways, I’m sorry about the accusations, and everything else” she continues.

Fuck, how do I react to that? “It’s alright, running away was sketchy as fuck. And this isn't Hell, I guess things work differently here?” I ask.

“Yeah, were you serious about destroying shit and murder being a normal thing in Hell?” she asks.

“Yeah, in my part of it at least. Everyone can use magic; we can fix practically anything with magic”

“Even powerful brainwashing spells?” she asks.

“Yeah, we literally have a fountain for that somewhere in my castle, it happens **a lot** , but the passage between worlds is blocked off and guarded by _something_ that’s dragging those who die off to god knows where. Which is probably the only reason I haven left yet” I answer.

“Don’t you have spells for getting back to Hell?” she asks.

“I have an entire fucking book of them, but I don’t have the ingredient I need to get the one that still works to work! And I can't go get the ingredient I need for the spell… no that’s not right, I could go but I’d get killed and I don’t wanna see the _thing_ in the space between worlds again” I throw my cup of tea at the wall, it shatters. I walk over and flop onto the bed. _Not sulking, right…_

Mallory comes and sits down next to me, running a hand through my hair.

“What ingredient?” she asks.

“A shard of space; the thing you people are referring to as ‘the Distortion’. It's probably called that because it fucks up space around it” I answer.

“I see. Well, we can't let you break that, it's one of the artifacts we need to stop Chronos”

“They're used in powerful space magic, they're rare but I have a stash in my castle for when I wanna fuck with dimensions and move large objects”

“Large objects?”

“Usually the castle, sometimes other things like the landscape” I look up from the pillow.

“Alright, you can explain how the spell is supposed work after we retrieve the artifact” she gets up to leave.

Before she closes the door she says “One more thing; stop being so serious, I haven’t known you for that long but it really doesn't suit you” She closes the door and I hear her heading back down the stairs.


	31. That Fucking Drawer

Mallory

That went a lot better than expected. Then again, I expected her to try and attack me with a ritual knife when I entered.

“She’s been quiet all day, she’s not dead or something is she?” asks Mika.

“Seemed pretty alive to me; even threw a cup of tea at me” I head over to the table.

“Alright, let's get this going before anything else can happen” Mika gathers everyone that's going to help with the boss at the large table in the living room.

I think I hear someone say don’t jinx it.

“As you all probably figured out, we have 4 less people than we thought we would when we first got here. So now our priority has changed slightly. Now along with getting the artefact, we also need to be careful that **nobody else fucking dies** ” he starts.

“People died?!” Derrek asks. Wow, he's not a genius…

“Hey, if we split off into groups, dibs on **not** having him in my group” Caramel says, pointing at Derrek.

Mika ignores them and continues “And to do that, we need a plan or at least an idea of what we're up against. This is why I called someone in. My friend won't be joining us in the fight, but he will be able to explain the boss’s abilities seeing as he was farming gold and rare items before Chronos fucked everything up”

Everyone turns when we hear a knock from the door and Mika lets in a tall man in a hooded cloak.

-Not_Steve- Level: ???

“Wow, he doesn't look sketchy as fuck” Caramel comments sarcastically.

Not_Steve takes the cloak off.

“Slightly less sketchy” she turns to look at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Your powers still work, is he as sketchy as he looks?” Caramel asks.

“I'm not sketchy” Not_Steve says, annoyed.

Mika facepalms at that. “Not helping”

“He’s not here to kill us. Why don’t we just get started. What should we watch out for?” I ask.

“The boss can teleport around and uses ranged attacks. That was the main problem I ran into before I went into hiding. The only solution I’ve found for that is to stun it. Since all the Star Wars Update shit is relatively new, they haven’t had a chance to nerf it yet, which means Mallory may actually be able to hold the boss in place while you all kill it. And since nobody else’s abilities don’t work-”

“What about Fumei, she can still teleport” says Angela.

“That’s because I don’t use magic to teleport” she explains.

“Wait, you can teleport?” he asks, turning to Fumei.

“Yeah, but I don’t really fight much. What else can I do?” she asks.

Not_Steve looks like he’s about to say something but I cut him off “If you don’t like fighting then can you teleport back and forth every once in awhile to make sure the wizards don’t do anything that gets them all killed?”

“We can handle ourselves, we don’t need someone to babysit us!” Cyanide yells from the stairs, apparently done sulking.

“You literally nearly just got yourself killed, **today**. And you **had** your magic!” Angela yells back from her spot on the couch.

“Fuck off!” Cyanide throws a vase at her before continuing towards the kitchen. This time I catch the vase before another fight can break out.

“Anyways… Fumei, can you do that for us?” I ask

She nods and we move on.

“The boss also moves in a very predictable pattern. It will teleport 3 times before stopping to fire at you from the opposite side of the clearing, you’ll have about 15 seconds to dodge and get across the clearing to attack it. After that, it will repeat this” Not_Steve continues.

“That’s so basic, I could handle that in my sleep” Derrek comments.

“ _Hey genius_ , you haven’t seen the size of the clearing” Not_Steve says.

“Yo, what's preventing magic from working in this town? Because usually it's some kind of machine and if I can wreck that, I could probably handle the boss by myself-FUCK!” Cyanide yells from the kitchen, this is followed by the sound of something hitting the wall and a bunch of glass breaking.

“I'm fine!” she yells a second later, coming out of the kitchen with a cup strawberry juice.

“What was that?” I ask.

“What was what?” she asks.

“You know what” I reply.

“…Shitty drawers. It wouldn’t open so I pried it open with my staff, but that sent it flying. Oh and before one of you gets all up in my face about it, I put the drawer back” she answers after a second.

“Magic is prevented by part of the coding in the town, there’s no breaking it. People have tried” Not_Steve answered.

With that, she continued back up the stairs and back into the room she was staying in.

2 Hours Of Planning Later

With everything figured out, Mika called everyone else down.

“As everyone already knows, everyone who doesn’t rely on magic is coming with me and Mallory, which means all magic users will be left alone in this town. Fumei will be coming to check up on you once in awhile. Don’t do anything stupid. Also, Angela is in charge” Mika announces, quickly turning towards the door.

“You can't be serious!” Lucifer yells.

“She's most reasonable out of all of you, and isn't scared of any of you” Mika answers, before walking out the door. We all headed out as well.

I can't help but be afraid of what will happen for the week that we’ll be gone.

“Do you think we should have asked someone to stay?” I asked Mika.

“I'm sure Angela can handle it”

 

* * *

 

Angela

They’ve been gone for 3 hours and I’ve already had to deal with 2 arguments and a fire. This is going to be a _long_ week.

“Your leadership sucks” comments Cyanide who had come downstairs for another cup of strawberry juice.

I ignore her.

“I’m so bored” she yells from the kitchen.

“Then entertain yourself” I snap.

I ignore her as she walks past me back upstairs, and go back to the book I found. Eventually I fall asleep on the couch in the living room.

I’m startled awake by the sound of glass shattering, and drawer being slammed shut. I try to go back to sleep, assuming that another drawer had stuck. Then was woken up again as I heard individual glasses breaking, and the drawer being slammed shut. This was followed by the sound of another drawer being opened, more glass breaking, Cyanide running upstairs laughing, and Lucifer coming down the stairs with her, into the kitchen. Then there was more glass breaking.

After this, I get up to see what the hell they were doing. When I rounded the corner, I saw Cyanide and Lucifer opening a drawer, throwing all the glasses at the wall, closing the drawer, reopening it, and repeating the process, laughing.

“What the actual hell are you doing?!” I scream.

They both turn to me, laughing.

“Check this out” says Cyanide, pulling out the drawer, turning it upside down, all the glasses falling out and shattering on the floor. She puts the drawer back in, before pulling it out again, the drawer once again filled with unbroken drinking glasses. She takes one out and throws it at the far right wall, laughing. Lucifer joins her after a minute.

I look around and notice that none of the broken glass was disappearing. I point this out but that just makes them laugh harder and keep throwing the glasses at the wall.

Instead of stopping them, I just left, assuming that they would get bored eventually. And about half an hour later, they did and went back upstairs.

I hesitated for a bit, but I eventually forced myself to check exactly how bad the damage was. There was broken glass littering the floor, counters, and sticking out of the walls. But most of it was brushed into the corner of the room.

After that, I just decided to head upstairs for the day.

 

Day 2

I was woken up by the sound of glass breaking, _not this again_. I headed down the stairs, ready to chew Cyanide and Lucifer out for all the broken glass. I was surprised to see it was August and Asher throwing glass at the wall this time.

“Why?!” I shouted at them.

“We were bored, Cyanide and Lucifer told us that there was a drawer with infinite cups. We had nothing better to do, so we found it. This is surprisingly fun” Asher answers.

I just turn around and leave; not willing to deal with this so early in the day. On my way out, I tell them to make sure to sweep the glass into the corner of the room with the rest of the pile.

With that, I turn around and head back upstairs.

2 Hours Later

This time I wake up to the sound of gunshots and more glass breaking coming from outside. Oh my… they can't actually be...

I look my window and see all of them gathered in the yard, standing around a fire, drinking, and shooting at the cups from that godawful drawer they placed on various surfaces. I look at the time and see that it's 4:12AM, they're doing this at 4 in the god dammed morning. Do they even sleep?

“What are you doing?!” I yell out the window at them.

“Funeral!” Lucifer yells back.

“What?!” I scream before rushing downstairs and into the yard.

“Funeral for my friends” Cyanide explains.

“They're not dead, just in a coma, you psychopath!” I shout.

“They're not waking up, Phantom told me so. I was fine with that, but I had a theory” she replied.

“Who’s Phantom? What _theory_?!” I asked.

“Right, you probably know him as Death. As for my theory, When I got myself killed fighting the first admin, I saw it. The thing dragging people off to god knows where, and probably the reason they're not respawning. I managed to escape it, and ended up back here. My theory is that if they can avoid the thing, I think we could still get them back as ghosts”

I didn’t say anything. It's too early for this. I just grabbed a random bottle on the table and took a sip from it. The drink was fizzy and tasted like raspberries and something I’d never tasted before.

One Ceremony Later

“What now?” asks August.

“Now we wait. Or if we’re going by tradition, we riot in the streets until the sun comes up” Cyanide says, shooting at the building across from us. She doesn’t seem satisfied with that, and keeps firing at it until she hits something that causes the building to go up in flames.

“Well, what will it be?” she asks, turning back to the group. She turns to look at me and gives me a look; I ignore her.

 _This is ridiculous_ , I turn to head back inside.

“We don’t have magic, what are we supposed to riot with?” asks August.

“Want a gun? Wait! Ever used a lightsaber?” she asks. I don’t need to be looking at her to know that she’s grinning like a maniac.

“No, we don’t have those in our universe. How’s it work?” he asks.

“Alright, it's simple. This turns it on, and you don’t touch the glowing part. There’s more to it than that, but Mallory’s not here to explain it. That’s all we really need to know” she explains.

“Is anyone else rioting? Gather round and grab something from the pile!” Cyanide dumps a bunch of weapons out of her inventory. Where did she…

Everyone except for Aria and Luna grab a weapon and a glowing bottle from the table and run off cheering in various languages, some that I'd never heard before.

I head back inside, Luna and Aria follow me.

“Is this some kind of tradition in Hell?” asks Luna, sipping some kind of strange smelling tea.

I just grab a book and ignore the question.

“It sounds like it should be, but it's actually an old Magic Council tradition before they had that huge rule change” answers Aria.

“No way! Oh my god!” Luna laughs. “Wait what rule change?”

“Don’t you dare” I warn them from my spot on the couch.

Aria ignores me and continues, “Well, before the change, the Magic Council was pretty much just as bad as all the other groups that were fighting for control at the time. They destroyed towns, murdered people, members got into fights everywhere they went, dark magic was ‘ _frowned upon_ ’ but not illegal, and the whole thing was just a mess. And the whole ‘riot in the streets after a funeral’ thing they're doing right now is actually an old council tradition”

I interrupt her, “Except with the old council, the tradition was based on history. What's going on out there,” I gesture towards the window, “is just pointless destruction because _her royal highness_ can't go a single day without destroying _something_. That hasn't changed since she was a kid”

Just then I heard Luna scream. I turned around to see that Fumei had shown up to check on us for the first time.

“It's a lot quieter than I thought it would be. Is everyone else sleeping?” she asks. It's a reasonable guess considering the fact that the sun hasn't even come up yet.

“As much as I would love to say that they are, they're not. They're currently out there destroying the town as part of some ancient tradition” I answer, waving towards the window. I purposely left out the part about it being and ancient _Magic Council_ tradition.

“Well, I have some good news and some bad news” Fumei says, heading into the kitchen.

“I'm almost afraid to ask, but what news?” I ask, following her.

“Good news is that while we got ambushed on the way there by some players, everyone with us survived. Bad news is that the trip is taking longer than we thought it would, we’re no longer sure how long the trip will take” she answers, taking a sip from one of the drinks the wizards made.

 

* * *

 

Mallory

I reach out further along the path with the Force to make sure that there’s no more people waiting to ambush us.

“I think we’re good for now” I announce after a minute.

“In that case, we should keep moving, according to the map we have a long way to go” Mika says.

We keep following the path that Not_Steve highlighted on the map.


	32. Chapter 32

Mallory

We follow the highlighted path for what feels like forever without running into anything besides a few Slimes. I pause to check further up the path with the Force. I'm certain that there won't be anything up ahead, but I'd rather not take any chances after the first ambush.

“Anything?” Mika asks from beside me.

I shake my head no. Nothing besides more Slimes anyways but those weren't worth mentioning.

We continue down the highlighted path for another hour before Fumei reappears.

“How's everything going in wizard house?” asks Mika.

“The wizards are destroying the town as part of some ancient ritual. They're doing a pretty impressive job without magic” she answers.

“How?!” Violetta asks. That's actually a good question.

“Wasn't someone supposed to take away most of the weapons in the house?” asks Caramel.

We all turn to look at Derrek. “I forgot alright? And by the time I remembered, we were already 3 hours away. I figured ‘what's the worst they could do anyways?’ So I didn't say anything” he says in a rush.

_I want to throw him off the nearest cliff…_ I somehow manage to resist the urge to do so and ask him “Why don't you go further on ahead of the group and tell us if you see anything interesting?”

Derrek agrees and runs further up the path and around a corner while singing some song about dragons. The group lets out a collective sigh of relief.

“What if there's another ambush waiting up ahead?” asks Violetta.

“I'm sure he'll scream if that happens” Caramel answers.

I almost hope he doesn't; he actually started singing at some point during the trip, which is probably why we got ambushed to begin with. The players that attacked us could probably hear him coming from a mile away. And for a second I hope that he would just get murdered quietly, I tell that thought to fuck off. The last thing I need to deal with is going to the dark side on top of everything else that's going on.

Then I realise something. It's actually quiet. That in itself wouldn't be a problem except Derrek is obnoxiously loud at best. I turn to Mika who seems to have noticed the same.

“How far ahead did he run?” Mika asks.

I search further ahead with the Force but I can't tell where he is. I remember something that Jinx warned us about a long time ago; something called a ‘dead zone’. Some kind of patch of fucked up code that cancels out all abilities. I’m sure he’s fine but the quiet still bothers me.

“I don’t know; I can't sense anything up ahead. I think it's a dead zone up ahead” I reply.

“Would a dead zone really make him stop singing?” Caramel asks. She brings up a good point.

We start walking faster.

 

* * *

 

Angela

I don't know where Aria was getting this information from. None of this information is on public record. And even with all the breaking in and taking stuff, Cyanide was still in Hell for most of this, so she couldn’t have known.

“I don't need magic to know what that look means. Wondering how I know all this?” Aria asks. I hesitate for a second before nodding. “Well as you probably know, the council is the result of 3 factions banding together. I'm part of the fourth. But I'm sure Riel told you all about that already” she says before suddenly getting up to leave.

“Where do you think you're going?” I ask.

“I don't know about you but I think Cyanide is a lot of fun when she gets like this” Aria answers, winking at me. I give her a disgusted look as she walks out the door.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer

I look around the building that I'm standing in, confused. Broken glass crunches beneath my feet as I walk around breaking more display cases but finding nothing I want to keep. Why the fuck did I come this way? I look around again, more slowly this time. I still don't see anything that catches my attention. Well whatever it was that drew me in here, I must have broken it. The building gives an ominous rumble and I turn around to leave.

As I leave the building, I walk right into Aria who's looking for Cyanide. I check the I pull up the map on my phone but it doesn't help. It only tells us that Cyanide hasn't left the town.

“I thought she'd be with you” Aria says.

“Normally yes, but she split off from the group a bit earlier saying some shit about a library. Fucking nerd. I think she went that way” I gesture down the street to the right.

Aria starts to head off in the direction of the library and I head off to find an ice cream shop.

 

* * *

 

Cyanide

I wander around another bookshelf, skimming over the titles. So far there hasn't been much other than blank books and generic lore. For a creator that likes to rip off other universes, you would think there'd be better libraries. Then again, I guess anything could be seen as generic if you've lived in Hell long enough. Everything ends up in Hell eventually; if it weren’t for the for the people I met that I never found again in Hell, I’d think there wasn’t a Heaven dimension.

_No, I'm not thinking about that again_ , I tell myself.

I move on to the next floor of the library, looking out the window as I do. I immediately regret my decision as I'm met with the sight of the hideous town, all neon colours and shitty architecture. Except for the buildings lining the street I came down and the ones surrounding the library. Those were reduced smoking piles of rubble with the gun I stole off of that admin woman and the lightsaber I took off of Natallia in the car. The buildings thankfully stopped flashing neon colours when they collapsed and were now simply on fire. I wonder if they’ll burn out eventually, I must have been here for at least an hour.

I suddenly remember what I came in here to do. I continue up the stairs so that I can start taking shots at the rest of the town from the roof. With any luck, I can make the town less hideous before the rest of the party returns. I pass by another window and see that the sun is still showing no signs of rising yet.

As I continue up the stairs, I think to myself, _holy shit, whys there so many stairs?_ I look at the strangely conveniently placed map on the wall and see that there’s still a few floors to go and then there will be an elevator. Not knowing when I’ll see another map, I decide to take it with me.

Why the fuck they couldn’t an elevator that went from the ground to the roof? I have no idea.

4 Floors Later

So many fucking stairs…Why the fuck do stairs exist? I look at the map I cut off the wall with the lightsaber. I don’t know why they're always in those fucking glass cases. Anyways, according to the shoddily drawn map, the elevator should be around this corner.

I don’t know what I expected when I turned the corner, but the elevator actually being there wasn’t it. When I get in said elevator, I see that the elevator only had 2 buttons, and one of them looks like someone shot it. Since that one isn’t working, I’m just gonna assume that ‘Rof” is supposed to say roof. I press that button and hope for the best.

The second I press it; I get an alert on my phone.

 

Notification

Estimated time to Roof: 5min

 

The fuck? Why’s this game is so inconsistent?

5 Minutes Later

At least the timer was accurate, I guess...

I get out of the elevator, and I’m immediately met with a flight of stairs. And I don’t mean there’s a short hallway and then stairs; I mean the fucking elevator doors open, I take a step out of the elevator, and I wake up lying on the stairs because I tripped and knocked myself out.

**_Fuck this town and its shitty design._ **

I continue up the stairs, since I have no fucking choice. There’s literally stairs in front of me and an elevator with a busted ‘down’ button behind me.

At this point I’m hoping that there’ll be an elevator or at least some stairs that lead back to the ground floor, but after the colour scheme, the elevator placement, and the fucking stairs, I’m honestly expecting to have to jump off the roof or some shit. I hope that the physics engine is as fucked as the rest of this town, and fall damage isn’t a thing.

When I get to the roof, I see what looks like an elevator and a view overlooking the entire town. And with that I take the admins gun out of my inventory and walk over to sit at the ledge of the building and start firing at the town, taking out most of the buildings near the house we’re staying at. At least that way when we go back, I won’t have to deal with the flashing and neon colours directly outside my window. Thankfully, the fire doesn’t seem to spread in this town.

As I walk to the other side of the building, I get the vague feeling that Mallory will be very annoyed with me when she gets back.

 

* * *

 

Mallory

Way to go Derrek, getting us ambushed by rogue players, again. Thankfully nobody died this time either.

“We really need to stop getting ambushed” Derrek says to the group.

I glare at him, about to point out that the only reason we keep getting ambushed is because he won't shut the hell up.

But, Caramel beats me to it, “Motherfucker, the only reason we keep getting ambushed is because you can't shut the fuck up. They literally hear us coming, and have enough time to set up fucking traps!”

“Well, you guys were the ones who sent me up ahead to begin with!” Derrek yells.

“Yeah, and **you** went off singing at the top of your lungs!” Caramel yells back.

As they begin arguing about what is and isn't appropriate to do on a path that’s popular for ambushes, I turn to Fumei and ask her to go and check on the wizards. For some reason, I get the feeling that I won't like the news she returns with.

“Well, at least I didn’t fuck up my _only job_ and leave fucking weapons with the only people in our group who were never taught gun safety or how to use a knife for anything other than magic!” Caramel screams.

I look to the rest of the group, hoping someone will break this up so I don’t have to and… You can't be serious; they are literally eating popcorn. Who the Hell brought popcorn?!

I turn to Caramel and Derrek. “ENOUGH, both of you!” I scream, that makes them both freeze. “Can we all just stay together, stay quiet, and not get ambushed for a 3rd time?” I ask as calmly as I can.

Nobody says anything and we continue along the path. “And give me some of the popcorn” I add, grabbing the bag of popcorn.

Wow, the pull to the dark side just gets stronger and stronger as this trip goes on. I wonder what would happen if I actually went to the dark side, would I end up going back and joining Chronos? Or maybe I’d just end up destroying this world before Chronos could. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll just take over this world and fix it, or at least fix the glitching. There was always too much glitching, even before Chronos snapped and started ripping out random chunks of code.


End file.
